In the end, all we could come up with was that Umbrella Corps was meant to reach out to everyone and ended up being something that will please no one.

If Keiji Inafune wants Mighty No. 9 to become as beloved as his blue-and-cyan predecessor, he and his team would do well to think deeply about modern updates to his classic formula to figure out what it is that makes them work so well. As is, Mighty No. 9 is a mighty, mighty failure.

The entire package of Dangerous Golf feels unfinished. Looking past the cool concept, nothing is exciting. The slow camera, the inconsistent controls, and bland mission structure combined with the fact that the game crashed numerous times during my playtime, led to much more frustration than there was enjoyment. The first few holes may have been fun, but Dangerous Golf quickly tumbles into a downward spiral of disappointment.

Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5 is a failure in almost every way a game can be a failure. Terrible level design, rampant glitches, minimal content, janky gameplay, and a complete lack of polish all mar what's (hopefully) the final entry in a previously great series.

In many ways, J-Stars Victory Vs+ is reminiscent of Dragon Ball Xenoverse, with its simple brawling, flashy anime characters, and even flashier special attacks. But while DBX was, at times, more fun and impressive, it was also much glitchier and more exasperating. J-Stars Victory Vs+ is more middle-of-the-road bad— it's never especially frustrating, but it's also never especially exciting.

Schrodinger's Cat and the Raiders of the Lost Quark isn't terrible, but it's a far cry from being good. The randomized level designs are bland, the puzzle-solving elements are so easy they're barely puzzles, and the writing and sound design will grate on your nerves far more than they'll entertain.

Humanity in Chains' gameplay is obviously uninspired and riddled with poor design choices.

Nero holds a lot of promising ideas and a neat little story back with a smorgasbord of technical mishaps and slow, choppy gameplay.

Slender: The Arrival manages to dull Slendy's mystique by shining a light on him and revealing his terrible secret: he's the star of a really crappy video game.

Type-0 HD's many technical shortcomings may have been forgiven if it were ported to the PS Vita instead of a current-gen console. Despite including stalwarts like chocobos, Odin, Moogles, Airships and a major character named Cid, Type-0 HD did not feel like a Final Fantasy product, especially in terms of quality.

Fans have been wishing for the perfect Dragon Ball Z game for a long time, and Dragon Ball Xenoverse makes it clear that they'll need to collect the dragon balls again and wish for something else, because this thing sucks harder than Yamcha.

Skip this game with extreme prejudice.

Escape Dead Island was almost a good experience, there was just six hours of terrible gameplay holding it back.

Games are meant to be fun, and those who make them should have some level of enthusiasm for what they’re doing. Swing Copters, however, is a thing of hate, and its only goal is to sink its fangs into you and fill you with its venom.

Longtime fans of Blood Bowl who are down with the lingo and the rules should have no problem jumping in and enjoying this new tablet-based version of the classic game. Those new to the bowl, however, should do a LOT of research before jumping in, or else you’re going to feel slighted, cheated, and lost.

This is one tale that is better off untold.

Deadman’s Cross may technically be free-to-play, but it will cost you precious minutes and hours that would be better spent doing damn near anything.

Its designs appeared to have been taken almost directly out of previously existing titles and, ultimately, Flappy Bird was a shallow, flash-in-the-pan smartphone anomaly that we’re not going to miss.

As it is, this is one Marvel game even Stan Lee would pass on. ‘Nuff said.

Big Win Racing has the worst elements of every free social game out there and offers nothing new, fun, or original in return. If you value your time or have any self-respect, you should avoid this at all costs.

Now, despite its numerous flaws, at heart Steam Punks could be a pretty good time. There’s a reason the universe has seen so much of Mega Man and his various reincarnations and spin-offs — its because those games are damn fun. Steam Punks wants you to have the same kind of fun, but lacks the polish or the technical power to elevate itself above the rabble.

Quotation forthcoming.

Go grab a cup of overpriced coffee instead. You’ll still get ripped off, but at least you’ll have more fun and actually feel something other than seething anger.

As a distraction while on public transportation, Infinity Danger is good for a few minutes. But any more than that and it will begin to frustrate you because of its squandered potential.

Maybe if there were more games to play without paying first would Ariel’s Musical Surprise be a bit more enjoyable.

It would have been cool if there were other features, such as monsters in the field or hidden areas to explore, but going from Point A to Point B gets rather boring. But, if you ask me, the only thing that Lead the Brave has led me to is a hunt for better games on the App Store. I suggest you leave it alone and search out better titles!

While I might not be a terribly huge fan of NASCAR, I am a big fan of racing games. For the first NASCAR game on iOS devices, this one sorely disappoints. Now, I realize it could be pretty tough to smash in 42 cars on a track on a tiny device, but something with actual racing would have been greatly appreciated.

Coin Quest could have been something decent but fails to entertain.

It’s appalling that a game like this exists. The people involved should be ashamed of themselves for trying to profit from the hard work of the original developers, and Apple should do a better job policing apps that so clearly rip off the intellectual property of others.

I cannot conclude this review without stating my utter hated for gyroscopic controls, and Driver’s Ed still does not give you the option of manually steering your car with on-screen controls (or any options for that matter).

Quite lackluster overall, but has some decent controls and plays as intended. Unfortunately, I would not even recommend it to even the most dedicated of fans since there are much better football apps to download.

Link The Slug is a puzzler that tries to be cute and clever, but in the end it’s a title that sits there like a bump on a log.

Essentially, if you are a super fan of Senses Fail, Grindcore might be worth it to you. You can learn so much more about the members and get extra posters/wallpapers. However, if you’re just looking for some fun, steer clear of Grindcore. The rewards will not interest you, the gameplay’s not that fun, and it’s kind of glitchy.

I’d like to think that, for whatever reason, the developers just had to rush it out the door and there will be more to come that builds upon that stuff. But who’s to say? It could also just be a Cliff’s Notes game.

Skate Madness plays exactly how it looks: a mediocre endless runner with absolutely zero replay value.

I cannot recommend Pocket Land to any fans of strategy or puzzle titles since it is still very unfinished.

Street Cats is an interesting, blood-soaked game that might have needed a little more time and planning to become something truly great. Right now, the crushing difficulty of its Survival Mode is keeping many players from enjoying its other content.

Amateur Surgeon 3 should have been an engaging operation that kept you glued on your device for more than a couple of minutes, but it’s a total freemium mess. Take your scalpel elsewhere and use your skilled hands for another app that’s actually worth of your time — and your money.

Ultimately, Trials By Survival feels a lot like Zombies Ate My Neighbors: with its randomized levels that are filled with dozens of the similar background objects, hundreds of zombies that all look the same, and its frenzied top-down control method. Unfortunately, Trials does not have anywhere near the charm that Neighbors had, and is just a failed attempt at trying to take bits and pieces from tried-and-true areas of both gaming and fiction in order to appeal to a specific niche of fans.

There have been reports floating around that some people have it working, but Puddle has left me high and dry.

Delta-V Racing has all the trimmings of a potentially excellent app, but unfortunately in this world, whether it’s two or three dimensional, execution is key. So if you really do have control issues in your real and iOS life, this flawed racer stalls at the starting line.

League of Mages plays exactly as advertised, but there’s not much else to it, with little incentive to keep on playing besides endless grinding for hours in order to change your character’s outfit.

I really wanted to like X-Rainbow, but it just didn’t deliver on any front, whether it was through its music, controls, graphics or gameplay.

Sky Gamblers: Cold War might be aesthetically pleasing, but its other attributes aren’t.

Free is free, and this game is good for a few smiles and some decent entertainment, but you cannot outrun the ceiling of mediocre, free games forcing players into micro-transactions in order to unlock the fun stuff.

Once Naughty Boy fixes its bug issues, I may return for a few rounds. But since batteries aren’t really included after you run out of your first batch, I may just delete this app altogether. I’ve paid for in-game additions only to be disappointed with a few glitches down the road.

The only reason why this did not score below a 3.0 was because of its historical accuracy and its ability to have hundreds of soldiers on screen fighting all at once.

Charade Parade is a beguilingly simple game mired in freemium hell.

As a pinball game, Marvel pinball is wholly unremarkable, and in a marketplace overflowing with other great pinball games (like the Pinball Arcade), you can forgo seeing your favorite characters in exchange for a much more entertaining experience.

This game had a lot of potential as a strategy game, but it’s just built on a shoddy foundation of gimmicky retro graphics and painfully basic gameplay that does little to inspire the tactician in players.

The actual racing, though nothing to write home about, is diverting enough to pass the time.