It's not obvious they knew just how monumentally moronic the game they created is. That's the key difference between the two titles: Bulletstorm is the funny guy at the party who has a bit too much to drink. DNF is the guy who gets plastered, runs around naked with a lampshade on his head and doesn't understand that everyone is laughing at him, not with him.

The monkeys stick to the comfortable security inside their balls and the platforming stays recognizably formulaic.

But the worst part? Beowulf features a minigame that rewards players for not having sex with Grendel's mother, played by a near-nude Angelina Jolie in the movie, for as long as humanly possible. That's just wrong.

Most of us were better at these kinds of games when we were young. Tweens or teens could play through this game with their thumbs cut off and a frontal lobe tied behind their back.

WALL-E is a particular sad movie tie-in failure, because Pixar, the company behind the film, is known for projects that appeal to multiple age groups. By contrast, the WALL-E game holds virtually no appeal to anyone.

A tired, sluggish, and uninspired action adventure that would have barely cut the mustard six years ago on PS1.

Just add impenetrably obtuse missions, ugly models, low visibility, a sluggish camera, and a fish that steers like a truck full of fat kids. Congratulations, Jaws Unleashed, you just killed our (sadistic) inner child.

The true strength of Nowhere to Run is built into its pick-up-and-play nature. It gets straight to the action, wasting no time indulging in slow-motion cinematic cut-scenes during battle sequences.

In the end, it's a definite thumb-basher, and not necessarily the worst game of its kind. It's just that the pedigree of the developer's past works suggests that NanoBreaker would turn out much better than it did, and that's a disappointment.

The real problem with Brooktown, though, is that your progress seems totally scripted, requiring no actual effort or skill.

Bodycount feels like something a developer would hand to a publisher as a proof-of- concept, not an actual game that should be on store shelves. Its brief moments of fun are overshadowed by poor controls, laughable story, and limited environments.

It's a game populated by animatronic mannequins, its plot driven by flat, unsympathetic characters. Worse, the dumb AI destroys any sense of danger, so the tension that runs through great stealth games never materializes.

I can still hear the ba-thump ba-thump of the paused game behind me, begging me back for more abuse, and I'm caught in a spiral of disbelief. Nothing can be this awful, yet I find myself straining to look over my shoulder. I don't know how long I can hold out. I am lost, but you may yet save yourselves. Save yourselves from this game.

Reservoir Dogs won't appeal to hardcore aficionados of the film; the almost-total omission of the original cast and likenesses will probably cause fans to attempt a bullet festival of their own.

I can still hear the ba-thump ba-thump of the paused game behind me, begging me back for more abuse, and I'm caught in a spiral of disbelief. Nothing can be this awful, yet I find myself straining to look over my shoulder. I don't know how long I can hold out. I am lost, but you may yet save yourselves. Save yourselves from this game.

This one-note sex queen takes the series down a peg. Rick Goodman (creator of Empire Earth) is probably rolling over in his grave.

If the worldwide aspect of RYL has you intrigued, check it out. Or, if you like hack-n-slash gameplay with no end in sight, this could well be your game.

It quickly degenerates into as absurd a mess as four turtles that are supposed to be ninjas with a rat for a sensei sounds like on paper. As Michelangelo might say, "cowabunga dudes, this is one gnarly game wreck."

Remarkably shallow and underwhelming.

NeverDead is a game, and it can be completed. In my opinion, those are the two truths that cushion the space between a D- and an F. Remove those two facts, and you're left with an amateur effort that redefines the boundary between bad game and flat-out punishment.

The most frustrating thing about Deca Sports is that it's not bad -- just bland, uninspired, and of questionable value.

If throwing cubes of trash at buttons is up your alley, then we've got just the thing: Heavy Iron's game-itization of Pixar's WALL-E is an offal-chucking aficionado's dream come true. What it isn't, though, is much fun at all.

Assuming you have dipped your feet in the pool of endless Dynasty Warriors content, it's almost absurd at this point to have to pay 30 bucks for either the PS2 or Xbox 360 flavor of what is barely more than preconceived, half-assed, tacked-on downloadable content.

While some hardcore dungeon-crawler fans might get some enjoyment out of Valhalla Knights 2, I'd rather skip the grinding and play a game where the combat accentuates my exploration of a rich, engaging world.

There are even certain instances where you can find yourself focusing on your stealth tactics rather than struggling with the interface, and in those instances the game plays out quite well. It's just too bad those are the exception rather than the rule.

By the time I'd defeated my 10th werewolf, I was already tired of needing to cut or shoot its head off so it didn't regenerate. By the time I defeated my 200th, I just wanted to turn the game off.

By the time I'd defeated my 10th werewolf, I was already tired of needing to cut or shoot its head off so it didn't regenerate. By the time I defeated my 200th, I just wanted to turn the game off.

What's most impressive is the way a lot of humor is injected into the actual gameplay.