Sarah Coomes

Biography: Little has so far been published in the learned journals about Sarah Coomes, so we offer you the potted biography found by one of our researchers on the back of the United Biscuits flier used at the Edinburgh Festival fringe of 2004. We have reason to believe this may have been written by Sarah herself, so it should probably be treated as authoritative: "SARAH COOMES grew up in space, where she ate dehydrogenated food and projected the universe's first mind vision solution of Einstein's gravity equivalence condition, a problem that had eluded the scientist for the whole of his working life. "Her hair is made of light, and she can run faster than any land creature, including elk and all members of the feline majori. She can see through walls and roads and houses and can tell you what you are going to say ten minutes before you say it, and even if you try and catch her out by changing your mind she still gets it right. She is over eleven feet tall and capable of crushing yourLittle has so far been published in the learned journals about Sarah Coomes, so we offer you the potted biography found by one of our researchers on the back of the United Biscuits flier used at the Edinburgh Festival fringe of 2004. We have reason to believe this may have been written by Sarah herself, so it should probably be treated as authoritative: "SARAH COOMES grew up in space, where she ate dehydrogenated food and projected the universe's first mind vision solution of Einstein's gravity equivalence condition, a problem that had eluded the scientist for the whole of his working life. "Her hair is made of light, and she can run faster than any land creature, including elk and all members of the feline majori. She can see through walls and roads and houses and can tell you what you are going to say ten minutes before you say it, and even if you try and catch her out by changing your mind she still gets it right. She is over eleven feet tall and capable of crushing your head with her left hand without even trying. She can fly and she never gets lonely. She is only doing this show because she feels sorry for you."In confirmation of the above, Sarah's voice-over agents, Q-Voice, describe her as "Light, precise, authoritative".Sarah's theatre credits include -Snogging Ken (Almeida Theatre, London, 2000) - Pandora - more infoFrom December 2003 to the autumn of 2004, Sarah and Belinda Stewart-Wilson together made up a comedy duo called United Biscuits, which presented a two-woman show called High Tea at the Canal Café Theatre, London, and the Edinburgh Festival fringe of 2004. See our Gallery and the United Biscuits web site, and there may still be an old news release here.… Expand