Traded

Cinedigm Entertainment Group | Release Date: June 10, 2016

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Tone01Jun 14, 2016

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Perfectly Awful

Take a number of hasbeens or neverweres, fold in a truly bad, derivative script with neither surprise nor finesse, add indifferent direction, lackadaisical editing, shake well, fling onto a screen. The resulting drips form this sorry excuse for a film.

The screenwriter also owns a food delivery service. He should continue to only deliver bologna to Angelenos too stoned to shop for themselves instead of trying to feed it to viewers. Oh, wait. He did write that "Brady Wives" episode.

Trace Adkins would never leave the confines of a paper bag if purposed with escape through acting. Michael Pare? Really? Is he still alive? It's difficult to determine as he zombie-walks through this role to give 'phoning it in' a new definition. It is again good to see Kris Kristofferson's trademark face screwing and teeth gnashing. This Director, like all others Kris worked for, couldn't tame these tics either. When did Sizemore get released from prison?

Oh, the plot. I haven't seen a film plot like this in a good fifteen minutes. Yada yada daughter kidnapped. Yada yada track kidnappers down. Yada yada bang bang kill kill. Nothing new. Nothing original. Thank me now for saving you from this - the softest word I can use without expletive - snoozefest. Okay, POS. You figure it out.

Who puts up money for dreck like this? I suppose when you're Michael Pare and offered a few ducats you take them. Good thing he found time with all the buzz about his tour-de-force performance in the TV remake of "The Philadelphia Experiment."

It rankles bux are put into useless celluloid as this when there are thousands of scripts far more worthy of entertaining an audience. This film is not only bad, it's a tragic indicator of a deal regardless the outcome. Wake up money men. You're going to lose your underoos on this. Have some cojones and mount better films.

Bah!… Expand

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