The Watch
Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation | Release Date: July 27, 2012 CRITIC SCORE DISTRIBUTION
36
METASCORE
Generally unfavorable reviews based on 35 Critic Reviews
Positive:
0
Mixed:
25
Negative:
10
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Critic Reviews

Critic scorePublicationBy date
60
Total FilmEllen E. JonesAug 25, 2012
If you can ignore the disturbing parallels with recent events, this middle-aged, Middle-American "Attack The Block" raises a laugh. Read full review
60
Los Angeles TimesBetsy SharkeyJul 26, 2012
Some of the phallic jokes work, others are really lame. Fortunately there are many other funny bits that have nothing to do with body parts that keep the laughs coming. Read full review
60
Boxoffice MagazineJames RocchiJul 26, 2012
As broad as a barn yet as thin as paper, The Watch is a summertime action-comedy that works almost in spite of its overcrowded cast and loose, pulpy spitball of a plot. Read full review
55
MovielineMichelle OrangeJul 26, 2012
It's not that The Watch is terrible – it's not not terrible, but there are sufficient diversions and more punitive ways to spend your evening – but that it's one of those smoke bomb comedies that seems to disappear even while you're watching, leaving no trace of itself behind. Read full review
50
New York Magazine (Vulture)Bilge EbiriJul 28, 2012
Yes, it all gets kind of old, and yes, it's all over the place, but you'll probably find yourself laughing at least some of the time. Dick jokes, after all, can be pretty funny. Read full review
50
Miami HeraldConnie OgleJul 27, 2012
The body part joke to alien joke ratio seems slightly skewed in favor of the former, which makes the humor more than a little repetitive. How many different ways can one film say: "Men are idiots"? Read full review
50
Washington PostAnn HornadayJul 26, 2012
The Watch takes the same ethos of male bonding, obsession with sex and sardonic violence that has proved so profitable in recent years on yet another summer spin. The tires may be in need of changing pretty soon, but for now the jalopy still runs. Read full review
50
USA TodayClaudia PuigJul 26, 2012
The film is one long Costco joke - but the punch line is never all that funny. Read full review
50
Portland OregonianM. E. RussellJul 26, 2012
The end result is mediocre, slightly sloppy and a mild waste of a great cast. Read full review
50
Philadelphia InquirerSteven ReaJul 26, 2012
Reality aside, The Watch is harmless enough - and even occasionally humorous, in a riffy, sketch-comedy kind of way. Read full review
50
VarietyJustin ChangJul 26, 2012
What's onscreen feels as half-assed and juvenile as it was probably always envisioned to be, suggesting an umpteenth retelling of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" by way of "The Hangover," or perhaps a far less inspired version of "Attack the Block" transplanted to small-town Ohio. Read full review
50
Arizona RepublicBill GoodykoontzJul 26, 2012
It should be funnier. It should be better. Instead, it just sort of is. Read full review
50
Chicago TribuneMichael PhillipsJul 26, 2012
It sticks in the craw. The whole movie does. Read full review
50
St. Louis Post-DispatchJoe WilliamsJul 26, 2012
If this movie wanders into your neighborhood, the only watch that will hold your attention is the timepiece on your wrist. Read full review
50
The A.V. ClubKeith PhippsJul 25, 2012
In spite of some prominently featured green slime and power-beam weaponry, it won't make anyone forget "Ghostbusters" anytime soon. Read full review
50
Chicago Sun-TimesRoger EbertJul 25, 2012
It's so determined to be crude, vulgar and offensive that after a while I grew weary. Abbott and Costello used to knock out funnier movies on this exact intellectual plane without using a single F, S, C, P or A word. Read full review
42
The PlaylistRodrigo PerezJul 26, 2012
Certainly possesses a lot of energy, but it's never harnessed or focused effectively. As a buddy comedy, all four leads have done better, and you already know what those movies are, and this one doesn't stand among them. Read full review
42
Entertainment WeeklyLisa SchwarzbaumJul 26, 2012
If this amateur justice league spent as much time analyzing clues as they did analyzing their junk, in every slang variation available in the Urban Dictionary, the murder mystery in The Watch could have been solved on the first night of surveillance. Read full review
40
EmpireWilliam ThomasAug 27, 2012
Lacking the bite of "Attack The Block," Stiller and co. are happy to fall back on their usual shtick, with director Schaffer providing barely enough juice to power the laughs. Read full review
40
Time OutDavid FearJul 28, 2012
There's a secret weapon embedded within The Watch, however, and his name is Richard Ayoade. Read full review
40
NPRScott TobiasJul 27, 2012
The Watch perks up when Ayoade's spacey line readings give it something unique and unexpected - otherwise, per Costco, audiences are buying their generic sci-fi comedy in bulk. Read full review
40
The New York TimesStephen HoldenJul 26, 2012
The movie builds to a human-versus-alien showdown so sloppily staged that it makes little visual sense. The bargain-basement pyrotechnics suggest that much of The Watch was filmed on autopilot on a strict budget. Read full review
40
The Hollywood ReporterSheri LindenJul 26, 2012
Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn play the guys they always play in this sci-fi comedy misfire. Read full review
40
Austin ChronicleMarc SavlovJul 26, 2012
The Watch is awfully lightweight, and while it earns its R rating via some comic gore and a whole lot of hyper-sexualized tomfoolery, it's hardly the best work of anyone involved. Read full review
40
TimeRichard CorlissJul 26, 2012
You're unlikely to laugh much, and you may get an unexpected case of the non-art-imitates-bad-life creeps. Read full review
38
Rolling StonePeter TraversJul 27, 2012
Then there's the movie itself, which should be crazy, stupid fun but settles for just stupid. Read full review
38
ReelViewsJames BerardinelliJul 26, 2012
The Watch is a studio turd marinated in eau de skunk that stinks worse than week-old fish. Read full review
38
Boston GlobeTy BurrJul 26, 2012
It's another one of those loud, penis-obsessed bro farces, lazily written (by actor Seth Rogen, among others) and haphazardly directed. Read full review
38
Slant MagazineAndrew SchenkerJul 26, 2012
What's perhaps most off-putting about the movie isn't its increasingly stale humor, but the way it ultimately validates its characters' worst impulses. Read full review
25
Christian Science MonitorPeter RainerJul 27, 2012
It's a mash-up of blah buddy comedy and gross-out CGI monster splatter, with nary a laugh to be had. Read full review
25
The Globe and Mail (Toronto)Rick GroenJul 27, 2012
It's a dumb-ass comedy done strictly for a seriously large paycheque. Read full review
25
New York PostKyle SmithJul 27, 2012
The danger of dreaming up a predictable adventure for a group of nobodies you hold in contempt is that the audience will see your indifference and raise you. Read full review
25
San Francisco ChronicleMick LaSalleJul 26, 2012
As far as formulaic, empty and disappointing comedies go, The Watch is far from the worst. About every seven or eight minutes, perhaps a dozen times over the course of the picture, the movie generates a medium-size laugh. Not a big laugh. Read full review
0
Tampa Bay TimesSteve PersallJul 28, 2012
This messy mix of sci-fi horror and post-Superbad raunchiness didn't make me laugh once. Not a single snicker, chortle or smile. Read full review
0
New York Daily NewsJoe NeumaierJul 26, 2012
Every summer needs a super-turkey. So barring anything in the next 30 days that's the second coming of "Howard the Duck," the witless, completely terrible "comedy" now called The Watch should win hands-down. Read full review
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