Read Negative User Reviews for Jupiter Ascending

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RickBellJul 21, 2015

Completely unrealistic plot on the most base level: unappealing Mila Kunis discovers that she owns the earth and is given planetary powers. She was working as a poor maid cleaning toilets until that became known to her. After a lot ofCompletely unrealistic plot on the most base level: unappealing Mila Kunis discovers that she owns the earth and is given planetary powers. She was working as a poor maid cleaning toilets until that became known to her. After a lot of adventure and saving the earth, she decides to go back to scrubbing toilets (literally) for a living as a maid. The sci if stuff is fun, but the basic plot is ludicrously unbelievable. A similar plot would be: a maid wins a billion dollars in the powerball but decides to throw all the money away and scrub toilets for a living instead. Yeah right.… Expand

4 of 6 users found this helpful42

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3

sanyrubJun 20, 2015

This is a really bad one. The story does not engage you at any point, you know what is to happen since it is so predictable, and there is no special acting, score or unique special effects to save it. Nothing. There are a few moments when theThis is a really bad one. The story does not engage you at any point, you know what is to happen since it is so predictable, and there is no special acting, score or unique special effects to save it. Nothing. There are a few moments when the characters interact with each other on Earth that are actually a little bit more interesting than all the crap displayed when the effects kick off. Slightly entertaining with some snacks or a few drinks.… Expand

2 of 3 users found this helpful21

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3

Jess_HillJul 12, 2015

Such wonderfully imagined concepts have never been so disappointingly unrealised. Some of the cinematography is sublime, but there are many moments which are poorly executed, and the same goes for the world building and costuming. TheSuch wonderfully imagined concepts have never been so disappointingly unrealised. Some of the cinematography is sublime, but there are many moments which are poorly executed, and the same goes for the world building and costuming. The performances are forced and clunky, the dialogue is awful, the storyline is full of lofty ideas that are barely explored, and the entire film lacks depth, with a resolution that is thoroughly unsatisfying. A terrible let down on almost every front. 2.31/10… Expand

5 of 8 users found this helpful53

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3

csw12Apr 23, 2015

The headache inducing action sequences and their clumsiness rival anything Michael Bay has done. The movie made absolutely no sense and i can see their entire budget went to visuals and costumes and none to any professional writers. ChanningThe headache inducing action sequences and their clumsiness rival anything Michael Bay has done. The movie made absolutely no sense and i can see their entire budget went to visuals and costumes and none to any professional writers. Channing Tatum looks stupid, Mila Kunis is a miscast and Eddie Redmayne is embarrassing… Expand

6 of 10 users found this helpful64

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3

reijiroApr 29, 2015

All I can say is, after I watched the movie, I felt bad at all the money they must have spent in making this. With all that money, they could have made a fantastic movie that could have been epic.

Oh well. One of those movies I'dAll I can say is, after I watched the movie, I felt bad at all the money they must have spent in making this. With all that money, they could have made a fantastic movie that could have been epic.

Oh well. One of those movies I'd probably forget. So I'm writing a review to remind myself not to watch this again in the future.… Expand

3 of 5 users found this helpful32

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stuntbabyJul 11, 2015

I don't usually review movies but I registered here just so I could review this. This is possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. Struggled through about two thirds of it but it's totally unengaging. The main character, Jupiter JonesI don't usually review movies but I registered here just so I could review this. This is possibly the worst movie I have ever seen. Struggled through about two thirds of it but it's totally unengaging. The main character, Jupiter Jones appeared to be played by a cardboard cutout with no character or acting ability. This movie is visually cluttered and badly scripted. Reasonable basic premise and storyline, but then it's nicked from an old science fiction story, as most of these kind of movies are. I had my misgivings from the start when I saw it was by the creators of the Matrix, yet another reworking of an old science fiction idea padded out with yawn inducing visual and action sequences.… Expand

4 of 7 users found this helpful43

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3

DCEdmondsFeb 12, 2015

"Jupiter Ascending" 10 Scale Rating: 3.0 (Awful) ...

The Good: Visually, it gets a 10 as the film is a sight to behold. The effects are top notch and the fighting scenes are well choreographed. The space battles and dog fights are also"Jupiter Ascending" 10 Scale Rating: 3.0 (Awful) ...

The Good: Visually, it gets a 10 as the film is a sight to behold. The effects are top notch and the fighting scenes are well choreographed. The space battles and dog fights are also well done. Channing Tatum and Mila Kunis try really hard to make this work and neither were part of the problem.

The Bad: The supporting cast was not up to the task and just about every one of them (save Sean Bean) was terrible. The villains (Eddie Redmayne, Douglas Booth, and Tuppence Middleton) were especially dreadful. Redmayne's performance was baffling as he's usually a very good actor. In this film, however, he was hammy and over-the-top ... and not in a good way. The story itself is weak at best, full of plot holes and infused with comedic elements that just don't work. Silly would probably describe the film's premise best. Lastly, for a regular Earth girl, Mila Kunis sure can survive a lot, making death-defying escapes, bending the laws of gravity, and ignoring simple science while doing so. With the exception of amazing effects, it was just a terrible offering all around.… Expand

7 of 13 users found this helpful76

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3

RealPeopleFeb 9, 2015

Not that it would matter much: but possible spoilers about a real spoiler. I wanted to love this movie. I did not love this movie. In fact, my 3 rating is high, due to my love for the genre and the Wachowskis. I did love Speed Racer and theNot that it would matter much: but possible spoilers about a real spoiler. I wanted to love this movie. I did not love this movie. In fact, my 3 rating is high, due to my love for the genre and the Wachowskis. I did love Speed Racer and the Matrix, and I've enjoyed the Wachowskis other movies if not loved. Jupiter Ascending let me down in so many ways. The first half of the movie I found great. Whenever we were on Earth I was pleased. Smiling in my seat. Wowed by the special effects. When we leave Earth it all fell apart. The acting was all very well done, even Tatums. I don't care how well the digital effects are, they just do not move me in anyway. While on earth the gravity boots, the makeup, the digital effects mixed in real-world areas or sets all fantastic. The planet Jupiter was good. The rest just felt so awkward and emotionless. Maybe because we have seen this before, for many years, starting with the oft besmirched star wars. Putting the search for realistic eyes in a digital world aside the story is a complete and utter failure after we leave earth. As if they ran out of story and decided to just repeat what they did on earth in space. More of Kunis character Jupiter falling and being saved by gravity boots. Lots more. This isn't the creative repetition as with the matrix that lets us see the computer world of the matrix is being created on the fly, no this is we have completely run out of time or ideas. Have these movie directors learned nothing from the past? we could have stayed on Earth and armed Jupiter's excellent Russian family and had them fighting with slapstick humor and it would have been a hit. they could have wrote in a story about humans that know of the plot but are helping it along for the love of money. Instead we get repeated extremely lifeless set pieces that we have already seen at the beginning of this movie. So instead, we have another grand missed opportunity. And that is a shame, because no one can do this like the Wachowskis, and every failure will stop more space operas from hitting the big screen. Tisk tisk Wachowski brothers. And tisk tisk to all of your friends who obviously know nothing, or are too afraid to say anything about the course of your creations to you. The moral of the story is you don't need to own galaxies and cleaning up poop ain't so bad as long as you have a wolf-man with flying boots? Did you know you were making such a bad movie so you tried to force feed us an ideal that would let us cope? Signed: devoted but bewildered fan. I hope you make enough to get another chance. Only because you owe us fans now, you owe us big time.… Expand

8 of 15 users found this helpful87

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2

gpatton71Feb 6, 2015

Move was just awful. I had really wanted to like this move but it was just BAD. It's a really shame because the visuals are amazing the possibility for a scfi epic are there., Mila Kunis looks amazing in it but acted like she was still JackieMove was just awful. I had really wanted to like this move but it was just BAD. It's a really shame because the visuals are amazing the possibility for a scfi epic are there., Mila Kunis looks amazing in it but acted like she was still Jackie from that 70s show. They tried so hard to get the teen crowd that they dumb ed it down so much nothing is there any longer. Channing Tatum is not my favorite actor by any means but he was decent in this and he wasn't the problem, but he looked more like a Elf then a Wolf.… Expand

13 of 26 users found this helpful1313

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1

greihingFeb 6, 2015

While the movie gets an "A" for visual effects, the overall picture was bad. George Clooney once said that he felt the most important part of the movie is the dialogue. This movie is the posture child for the reason is why he is right. TheWhile the movie gets an "A" for visual effects, the overall picture was bad. George Clooney once said that he felt the most important part of the movie is the dialogue. This movie is the posture child for the reason is why he is right. The villains all same the same old threats worded in exactly the same way. "Don't fail me again." whispers Eddie Redmayne to his henchmen...ppplleeaasee. The acting is standard, but don't blame the acting on this one. This one dies because of bad dialogue, editing and the inability to connect with the characters. I wanted to walk out 3/4 of the way through because I honestly did not care what happened at the end. The only thing that kept me in my seat was I invested the money and time to see this stinker so I felt obligated to stick it through. I think congrats are in order the director for making the latest version of Battlefield:Earth, only in 3D. Save your money.… Expand

9 of 18 users found this helpful99

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0

MKUltramanFeb 26, 2015

Battlefield Earth for a new generation! Wanted to leave the cinema after the first five minutes. **** overblown CGI effects, unintentionally hilarious performances, camp costumes and dire dialogue make this film an absolute chore to getBattlefield Earth for a new generation! Wanted to leave the cinema after the first five minutes. **** overblown CGI effects, unintentionally hilarious performances, camp costumes and dire dialogue make this film an absolute chore to get through. More fantasy/kids movie than proper sci fi - avoid this one like the plague!… Expand

4 of 8 users found this helpful44

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0

DeathSladeJun 17, 2015

piece of **** acting...piece of garbage...piece of banana peel...piece of junk...piece of did i already say that it is a piece of ****................

3 of 6 users found this helpful33

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3

IsotopesamMay 3, 2015

A visual feast for your eye but leaves your brain dead. The movie started promisingly but halfway through ends up in a mess. The story just does not hold up and the conclusion wasn't satisfying at all. It looks like none of the actors areA visual feast for your eye but leaves your brain dead. The movie started promisingly but halfway through ends up in a mess. The story just does not hold up and the conclusion wasn't satisfying at all. It looks like none of the actors are really interested; just collecting the paycheck. Watching this movie is a complete waste of time.… Expand

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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rlwright34Jun 29, 2015

Seriously worst film I have ever seen. Thought about giving it 1 star for the pretty effects but sorry the crappy story and acting actually makes it a minus 10.

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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3

ozymandias79Apr 29, 2015

Not as dumb (or long) as Cloud Atlas but still dumb. I would feel like an idiot describing this movie so others can do that. This film was more like a Disney movie for kids. Stay away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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0

ason313Dec 18, 2016

OK, I knew this was gonna be a bad movie, but all I need to say is Channing Tatum is playing a rollerskating dog-man with a gun that barks when it fires.... enjoy!

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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3

mboner1Apr 29, 2015

Interstellar.. Watch that instead and thank me later. Poor choice of cast in this left me not caring what happened. Poorly acted, outside of the predictable action scenes there was nothing to see here. Move along.

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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0

Cooligan46Jul 27, 2015

Bravo, Mr. Wachowski. You too, you unfortunate wife-of-his. You've made yet another terrible sci-fi CGI-fest, devoid of fun, likable characters, or any good lines in the script. I will say to your credit that there are some charming parts,Bravo, Mr. Wachowski. You too, you unfortunate wife-of-his. You've made yet another terrible sci-fi CGI-fest, devoid of fun, likable characters, or any good lines in the script. I will say to your credit that there are some charming parts, and the cast is pretty solid. But why on Earth, for the main villain, would you reduce Eddie frickin' Redmayne, an Academy award winner, to an awkwardly-dressed brat who screams half his lines and whispers the other half!? And Mila's character is **** too, so it's not like she gets a free pass. She does nothing throughout the film other than get saved, try to get close to Mr. Wolf-eared Tatum, and clean toilets. She makes Princess Peach look like Ellen Ripley! All the other characters in this film are either left without personality or ridiculous to the point of hilarity. The lines in this movie puts the stupidity of Batman and Robin to shame. "I love dogs."? Really? M. Night Shyamalan is cringing at that line! Even Patrick Star can't help but cry at the sound of hearing that! Overall, it's a poorly-executed, poorly-acted, and boring attempt at cashing in on what made Star Wars so great. Too bad Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski. Maybe next movie.… Expand

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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3

EpicLadySpongeApr 13, 2016

My score for this movie is between a 3 and a 4. I decide to choose what I choose and stick with a 3 for now. There's obviously no way Jupiter Ascending can be this successful in movies or ever will be mentioned in any list of great movies.

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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3

FilmPhonicJan 19, 2016

A young immigrant domestic cleaner’s life on Earth is shattered when she is discovered as the heir apparent to a dynasty of intergalactic landowners and planet harvesters, only to be pursued by the tyrannical head of the family whom she isA young immigrant domestic cleaner’s life on Earth is shattered when she is discovered as the heir apparent to a dynasty of intergalactic landowners and planet harvesters, only to be pursued by the tyrannical head of the family whom she is determined to fight with the help of a genetically engineered super-soldier.

Writers/Directors The Wachowskis (The Matrix, Cloud Atlas) bring their action-packed “space-opera” to the big screen in a film that’s been described as a cross-between The Matrix and Star Wars, we could not think of a more unmerited comparison.

Sure you can expect all the action and effects that $175million will buy and some impressive visuals as well, but even there some of the effects are decidedly sub-standard and a couple of the entirely-CG characters are borderline laughable.

In the aspects that all films are ultimately judged on, story & characters, Jupiter Ascending leaves a lot to be desired, the plot is fantastical and original while somehow managing to be completely predictable and is ill-served by character performances that are at times reminiscent of a 1950s B-Movie.

There may be a parable in there about capitalism and the exploitation of the common by the powerful but that will be lost in all the explosions and laser-fire, ultimately it’s a journey of characters that you don’t care about and you know what will happen to from the beginning.

Clearly the The Wachowskis have not lost the ability to dream big but with every film since The Matrix there must be a question about their ability to deliver on the promise, we can’t help but think they would be perfectly suited to writing for the many young visionary directors currently out there.

We realize how difficult it must be to make major motion-pictures and obviously no one sets out to make a bad one but we can’t think of many redeeming qualities in Jupiter Ascending, this is not one of those films so bad that they’re good, it’s just quite bad.

We suspect Jupiter Ascending will be confined to the vault where films like Battlefield Earth reside, all action and no substance, this is one of those films you should probably only check-out on a flight.… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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1

GreatMartinFeb 6, 2015

Take a little of Cinderella, first seen cleaning toilets, add her prince or even better put in some DC Comics Superman who can’t fly--well he lost his wings--but does have floating boots that light up and help him skate all over the planetaryTake a little of Cinderella, first seen cleaning toilets, add her prince or even better put in some DC Comics Superman who can’t fly--well he lost his wings--but does have floating boots that light up and help him skate all over the planetary system. Be sure to have a Lois Lane/Superman flying scene. Oh yes give this guy some pointed ears like Spock fro Star Trek and make sure he leads battle after battle after battle after battle from Star Wars

Never hurts to throw in some King Lear and/or Games of Thrones. When things get too hectic slow it down--very slow--and add a nonsensical love story. Here and there give the Cinderella/toilet cleaner/alien in Chicago a wise crack which would be funny in any movie but this one. Oh yes let’s not forget to throw in some Speilberg’s E.T.s and Lucas mutants.

Directors/screenwriters Lana and Andy Wachowski seem to have their second bomb in a row, after “Cloud Atlas”, and “Jupiter Ascending” is a $175 million seemingly unrecoverable mistake.

At one time special effects made a movie-goer’s jaw drop but now they have become such a part of various genres they really don’t have the effect they had and in a movie such as this where they as wall to wall and constantly repeated is almost becomes laughable if not boring.

Channing Tatum showed he is a first grade actor in “”Foxcatcher” while Mila Kunis earned her drama stripes in “The Black Swan”. Sean Bean has received several acting honors in his career while Gugu Mbatha-Raw showed her versatility last year in “Belle” and “Beyond The Lights”. Here’s hoping no Oscar voters will see Eddie Redmayne in this film or they may punish him when it comes to voting!

There are many supporting actors in the film who will probably forget to put this movie on their resumes which is understandable. The music is annoying and/or unforgettable while some of the costumes even Cher or Lady GaGa wouldn’t wear.

One suggestion, if you feel you have to see it, see it in a movie theatre as the only thing it has going for it is the first time they show a special effect.

Ending on a positive note I want a pair of Tatum’s floating boots, that light up, so I can go air skating up to visit you!… Expand

6 of 14 users found this helpful68

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1

moviestalkerFeb 22, 2015

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. Who could have thought that the Wachowski siblings could come up with an movie even worse than matrix 3?

Meet Jupiter Jones, a woman everyone tries to murder .. including gravity, since most of the time she's seen falling to her death hoping to get rescued in time by her wolf boyfriend at the very last second.

Yes, spend 127 minutes watching Channing Tatum save Mila Kunis from: Shooting aliens with laser guns, falling, getting abducted, forced marriage, more falling, getting abducted again, even more falling and exploding. Good thing she ends up being the ruler of earth at the end of the movie. Because her "children" couldn't just take earth by force using their army and space ships and turn all humans into royal jelly ... Oh wait, they do have tons of money and giant spaceships.

I have no idea why people keep defending this piece of garbage: Are you really satisfied by a flimsy story as long as the rest of the movie is overloaded with cgi crap? Wow ... just wow.

Rating: 1/10
( 1 Point, because Sean Bean didn't die)… Expand

3 of 7 users found this helpful34

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1

Movi3R3vi3werFeb 9, 2015

What a f*freaking piece of dog crap this movie was, oh my God. This movie officially kills what career the Wachowski’s had and wastes a great cast including Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean and Oscar nominee Eddie Redmayne. We areWhat a f*freaking piece of dog crap this movie was, oh my God. This movie officially kills what career the Wachowski’s had and wastes a great cast including Mila Kunis, Channing Tatum, Sean Bean and Oscar nominee Eddie Redmayne. We are treated to a Star Wars prequel trilogy knock off featuring as interesting dialogue as The Phantom Menace did and the same poorly written romantic dialogue from Attack of the Clones, this movie sucks.… Expand

5 of 12 users found this helpful57

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3

DamionFeb 7, 2015

An embarrassment of riches!!!

…and what I mean by that is that this is a film about rich people that is just an embarrassment. “Jupiter Ascending” is the latest film from the Wachowskis and, despite what you read about their under-ratedAn embarrassment of riches!!!

…and what I mean by that is that this is a film about rich people that is just an embarrassment.

“Jupiter Ascending” is the latest film from the Wachowskis and, despite what you read about their under-rated previous efforts (“Speed Racer,” “Cloud Atlas”), this one truly is….utter disaster.

Remember when Hollywood seemed to start putting effects ahead of stories and starting insulting the viewers intelligence until some directors (read: Cameron, Nolan) started injecting mindblowing effects into incredibly intelligent stories.

Well, guess who is insulting our intelligence again.

What this movie is “about,” and I use the term loosely, is a young woman in Chicago who cleans toilets for a living who finds out she is actually a genetic descendant of the most powerful dynasty in the universe and simply needs to claim Earth as her own, which she left to herself thousands of years prior, before her “son” harvests humans to make a potion that keeps other beings in the universe young.

You got that? No?

Who cares.

The entire film is completely about special effects and scene after scene that shows elements ripped off directly from any one of the Star Wars films. It is clear the entire film was thought of from the perceptive of “how could we get this cool scene in the film?” with very little focus on a story that is chronologically and logistically ridiculous.

Case in point: Jupiter Jones, played by Mila Kunis, in the span of about 24 hours, finds out that aliens exist, that she is galactic royalty impervious to the sting of bees and survives the most ridiculously unlikely air-chase ever shown on screen without a seat belt….without even batting an eyelash or one moment of hyperventilating. I mean, I think most of us would freak out to actually meet an alien, first and foremost…even a muscular, hot one in the form of Channing Tatum…never mind the rest of what was thrown at her. Yet, she takes it in stride, like it is completely normal.

Absurd.

Truly, the entire narrative rolls out like this…with space, time and basic logic (and gravity) being completely ignored in the development of a story so completely ridiculous, Oscar-front-runner Eddie Redmayne must be crying himself to sleep for accepting to be a part of this and giving such a silly performance. In June 2014, when this film's release was pushed back by almost seven months from July 2014 to February 2015, what they should have done was rewritten the script.

On the upside, the film is visually stunning, and they certainly used 3D technology to their advantage, not to mention that Tatum’s extended shirtless scene is, indeed, very entertaining while I don’t think I have ever seen Mila Kunis look so beautiful. Unfortunately, she is at her best when she is dressed to the nines as a total rip off of Padmé.… Expand

7 of 17 users found this helpful710

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0

lilkillpappyJun 19, 2015

it took me several days to finish this film because I kept getting bored. What more do you need to know about it? I can't remember being this disappointed by a film. From Cloud Atlas to this claptrap??

2 of 5 users found this helpful23

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0

thankgodforkiwiMar 3, 2015

CRAP! CRAP! AND MORE CRAP!!! America is so starved of ideas for movies is just not funny anymore! Ok lets see what we can mix here for style oh - roman mixed with 1920's egyptian with a bit of trash modern try hard and space theme LOL, andCRAP! CRAP! AND MORE CRAP!!! America is so starved of ideas for movies is just not funny anymore! Ok lets see what we can mix here for style oh - roman mixed with 1920's egyptian with a bit of trash modern try hard and space theme LOL, and then you shove it down our throats and make us pay money!! No wonder people aren't going to the movies anymore. Save your money folks… Expand

3 of 8 users found this helpful35

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0

scribblerFeb 7, 2015

You are at risk of insanity or terminal tedium! Do not go to see the film "Jupiter Ascending". Whatever anyone says this is the most banal, badly scripted film I have ever seen. You may loose the will to live if you sit through more than 45You are at risk of insanity or terminal tedium! Do not go to see the film "Jupiter Ascending". Whatever anyone says this is the most banal, badly scripted film I have ever seen. You may loose the will to live if you sit through more than 45 minutes of this unadulterated bilge. Any film where a master of the universe (even if he is currently up for an Oscar in "The Theory of Everything") comes up with the line "My mother never cleaned a toilet in her entire life" and a dinosaur says "ooh you hurt me....." is beyond parody.

The lines are delivered in a drawl with some of the worst diction I have ever heard.

This film is an excrescence, go see it at your peril!… Expand

7 of 20 users found this helpful713

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0

ryecaMar 7, 2015

All you need to know is that there is a wolf-man Channing Tatum clumsily floating around Chicago with his gravity roller-skates. Did he just grind that fire-escape railing? Oh yes, he did.

Go see this movie NOW before it is gone. Be sure,All you need to know is that there is a wolf-man Channing Tatum clumsily floating around Chicago with his gravity roller-skates. Did he just grind that fire-escape railing? Oh yes, he did.

Go see this movie NOW before it is gone. Be sure, this movie is an awful, horrendous, shameful, abomination, wreck of a movie, but you need to experience it yourself. It is like a mad-libbed collage supercut of twenty or so moderately famous sci-fi movies. Yes, it is so bad that it is good again.… Expand

3 of 9 users found this helpful36

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1

GimpyTreatFeb 6, 2015

This movie was a giant, floating turd in the punchbowl of my otherwise wonderful day off. I got a nap this morning. Ate sushi for lunch. Had some wonderful physical relations with my wife. And was hoping that my day would only get better byThis movie was a giant, floating turd in the punchbowl of my otherwise wonderful day off. I got a nap this morning. Ate sushi for lunch. Had some wonderful physical relations with my wife. And was hoping that my day would only get better by watching this movie. Well, fate is a cruel bastard, and after spending no less than $7 on a matinee ticket, I soon found myself giggling at the ridiculous fish-lipped villain and his whispery ways. The movie was so incredibly predictable that during the times that I closed my eyes for an unnecessarily long blink, I used my psychic powers to tell me what would happen next. They threw in some scenes of things breaking for no reason other than to add obstacles for Mila to jump and dodge.

Well, now I'm home trying to salvage this weekend and stretch out time in hopes of getting back the 2+ hours of my life that I wasted. If you're on the fence about seeing this movie, DON'T! You'd be better off getting a colonoscopy from your neighborhood crack dealer.… Expand

2 of 8 users found this helpful26

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3

NerdConsultantFeb 16, 2015

this film is one overlong mess that throws tons of plots at you but goes Absloutly Nowhere with any of them. it feels like this films universe needs to be expanded but theres no comics, video games or short films to expand on the mythos so asthis film is one overlong mess that throws tons of plots at you but goes Absloutly Nowhere with any of them. it feels like this films universe needs to be expanded but theres no comics, video games or short films to expand on the mythos so as a result it comes off as incomplete. the characters are not great especially Mila Kunis character who does absolutely nothing and expects Channing Tatum to come rescue her and the dialogue is insipid. Eddie Redmayne gives the least subtle performance of his career and the 3D was only really worth it in the last 30 minutes and even then it highlighted how much the film is relying on CGI. i will say i enjoyed Sean Bean's performance but his usefulness is very sporadic and i really think the Wachowskis should have only directed this film and handed over the screenplay to another writer because they haven't been on form for a while. as the film stands it's just bad and i really don't want a sequel to be made… Expand

1 of 4 users found this helpful13

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3

RaygirlFeb 13, 2015

Terrible movie!!! Beautiful visuals (which is why I gave it a 3) but such a stupid story, and ridiculously naive behavior by our heroine - who does nothing smart with her new found power throughout the entire movie! (All she does is wonderTerrible movie!!! Beautiful visuals (which is why I gave it a 3) but such a stupid story, and ridiculously naive behavior by our heroine - who does nothing smart with her new found power throughout the entire movie! (All she does is wonder where her boyfriend is. Ughhhhhhhhhh.) Maybe the story will appeal to pre-teens but any adult will find this story simplistic, ridiculous and lame. A space-age Cinderella story with a twist: she happily goes back to cleaning toilets at the end! Oh, but she has her booooooooofriend, so I guess all is well with the universe. OMG - SO LAME!!! I can barely believe they did the Matrix series after seeing that horrible movie!… Expand

1 of 5 users found this helpful14

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2

AxeTFeb 19, 2015

It would be proof that the best visual effects and production value money can buy don't make a good movie except that even the visuals are nothing so great we haven't all seen before ad nauseum. Creatively it's all tired recycled elementsIt would be proof that the best visual effects and production value money can buy don't make a good movie except that even the visuals are nothing so great we haven't all seen before ad nauseum. Creatively it's all tired recycled elements adding up to one hell of an excruciating bore with dire little skill in story-telling.
And it does once and for all prove that this one hit wonder filmmaking team was exactly that.… Expand

1 of 5 users found this helpful14

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1

MugikunFeb 7, 2015

I was looking forward to this movie really bad but was hardly dissapointed throughout the movie. The ONLY positive thing about this movie are the special effects but thats where it ends. The storytelling was really awful and it was the firstI was looking forward to this movie really bad but was hardly dissapointed throughout the movie. The ONLY positive thing about this movie are the special effects but thats where it ends. The storytelling was really awful and it was the first time in my life I wanted my money back after a movie. I felt betrayed and made fun of. How can they even allow this kind of BS. Gosh, it makes me angry.… Expand

1 of 6 users found this helpful15

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3

mostfilmsarebadFeb 8, 2015

Fight scenes too long, over exaggerated explosions, some good moments but mostly corny/cliché with bad puns and dry humour. Channing Tatum looked extremely gormless throughout the movie as if he hadn't slept for several days. Designs forFight scenes too long, over exaggerated explosions, some good moments but mostly corny/cliché with bad puns and dry humour. Channing Tatum looked extremely gormless throughout the movie as if he hadn't slept for several days. Designs for set/ships etc looked like Asgard on steroids, costumes were alright at times yet could have been taken form the Hunger Games/Divergent. Soundtrack was trying too hard to be Howard Shore at times and was quite bland and lacked intensity at key points. CGI was probably done on Google Sketchup. The main antagonist was really **** annoying and needed a drink of water and anger management. Story line made relatively no sense and was hard to follow and could have been changed halfway through the actual filming. Sean Bean really likes bees. Unnecessary giant lizards.… Expand

1 of 6 users found this helpful15

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1

subs2Feb 6, 2015

The critics were right about this movie. It failed on every level. Poor dialogue, poor story telling, dull music, boring fighting action scenes, boring action sequences and dull characters. I struggled to get to the end and the onlyThe critics were right about this movie. It failed on every level. Poor dialogue, poor story telling, dull music, boring fighting action scenes, boring action sequences and dull characters. I struggled to get to the end and the only entertainment I got from this film was joking about how bad it was with my friends. It was a complete waste of money and I wouldn't recommend anyone to watch this film.

The Wachowski siblings let me down big time on this film. The story had some potential but they failed to make it interesting and I think the film deserves to flop.… Expand

1 of 8 users found this helpful17

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1

jluaFeb 8, 2015

I gave it one point for the special effects. But I am very sorry that such DGI effects talent went to a movie that didn´t deserve the effort. I am struggling to find some redeeming feature in this film, but I am am very sorry to report thatI gave it one point for the special effects. But I am very sorry that such DGI effects talent went to a movie that didn´t deserve the effort. I am struggling to find some redeeming feature in this film, but I am am very sorry to report that I can´t find anything at all. Despite all its special effects, I am sorry to say that it is one of the weakest film I remember seeing. And I am a science fiction fan, who enjoys almost all science fiction movies. Not this one.… Expand

0 of 4 users found this helpful04

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3

SpangleOct 23, 2015

Jupiter Ascending has some of the most beautiful space sequences in any film I have ever seen. Tragically, it is like that hot girl who can barely string together a coherent sentence. It gets a 3 for the beauty, but everything else isJupiter Ascending has some of the most beautiful space sequences in any film I have ever seen. Tragically, it is like that hot girl who can barely string together a coherent sentence. It gets a 3 for the beauty, but everything else is irreparably bad. The CGI orgy on the screen every five seconds made it look like a Michael Bay film and the subject matter reminded me of Star Wars if they removed everything that made those films good. The dialogue is cringeworthy throughout and absolutely brain dead moronic. The acting is somehow worse than the dialogue with Eddie Redmayne truly stealing the show. Wow was he horrific. He was the conductor of this massive train crash and he went full speed ahead on that crazy train. What may be the worst feature of the film is that it is two hours yet feels like it was ten hours. It was never truly slow, but just dragged on and on and never seemed to end. An incredibly stupid film that should have been killed humanely before it ever had $175 million spent on its production, Jupiter Ascending is impressively bad.… Expand

0 of 1 users found this helpful01

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1

irmdogFeb 8, 2015

There is no defending this film, it was BAD. I usually like Warchowski's films, even the bad ones, but this movie is an expensive waste of talent. While watching this mess all I could think to myself was all the starving people in the worldThere is no defending this film, it was BAD. I usually like Warchowski's films, even the bad ones, but this movie is an expensive waste of talent. While watching this mess all I could think to myself was all the starving people in the world and a hundred million dollars was wasted on this movie.… Expand

0 of 4 users found this helpful04

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1

caveatscotiFeb 23, 2015

You will never be so bored to watch $176 million burn, nor for less reason. How does the bad guy die? I didn't see that bit: partway through the action climax I pitched my 3D glasses at the screen and walked. 2 points for the art team, whoYou will never be so bored to watch $176 million burn, nor for less reason. How does the bad guy die? I didn't see that bit: partway through the action climax I pitched my 3D glasses at the screen and walked. 2 points for the art team, who did a great job with the brief 'just go nuts'.… Expand

0 of 2 users found this helpful02

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1

LowbrowCinemaFeb 8, 2015

JUPITER ASCENDING couldn't be more banal, useless, and dull. But it is colorful. It's amazing how these 2 filmmakers can drain the live out of anything, even such personable leads. But again. lots of color.

0 of 6 users found this helpful06

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1

WafflemanguyFeb 8, 2015

One of the worst movies of 2014-2015. Poor story, poor acting, only giving it a one for the gorgeous special effects. 90% of the movie was CGI, but the CGI was good. About the plot, it was repetitive, made little sense, and it looked like itOne of the worst movies of 2014-2015. Poor story, poor acting, only giving it a one for the gorgeous special effects. 90% of the movie was CGI, but the CGI was good. About the plot, it was repetitive, made little sense, and it looked like it was written by a 10 year old boy after it played Final Fantasy all day.
Spend your money on toilet paper or something equally useful instead of spending this on this CGI bomb.… Expand

0 of 6 users found this helpful06

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1

amohammed1975Feb 9, 2015

This movie was surprisingly horrible. I can understand now why it was delayed 2 years in releasing. Though, I would think after 2 years they would have done much better at trying to improve it. The best thing about JA was the trailer. I gaveThis movie was surprisingly horrible. I can understand now why it was delayed 2 years in releasing. Though, I would think after 2 years they would have done much better at trying to improve it. The best thing about JA was the trailer. I gave it a 1 rather than a zero, as the special effects were very good.… Expand

0 of 4 users found this helpful04

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2

dwhalen1000Feb 11, 2015

this movie was a sad attempt to refresh the old theme of the movie Dune. Poor story plot due to trying to put a trilogy premise condensed into 2 wasted hours. the ending was completely horrible and did not even remotely fit the plot of the movie

0 of 4 users found this helpful04

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1

FactsFeb 22, 2015

I was greatly anticipating a new Wachowski movie and went into the theater ready to love it. Unfortunately, what they spent on flashy digital graphics they should have spent on a script doctor. The acting (with the exception of Mila Kunis) isI was greatly anticipating a new Wachowski movie and went into the theater ready to love it. Unfortunately, what they spent on flashy digital graphics they should have spent on a script doctor. The acting (with the exception of Mila Kunis) is so-so at best... but we can't really blame the cast with such a flimsy plot and script to work with. The movie is a pretense to pandering "fan-service"- randomly thrown together things from other genres to try and please multiple audiences. This movie was genuinely terrible and a waste of my money. Refund, please.… Expand

0 of 4 users found this helpful04

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1

CameraBounceGodFeb 21, 2015

Here is my tip to Directors...Please don't make something seem big and cool like Jupiter when I can barely get past the beginning changing scene with Kunis and her girlfriend....and then you did a close up of Smitten Kunis and i wasHere is my tip to Directors...Please don't make something seem big and cool like Jupiter when I can barely get past the beginning changing scene with Kunis and her girlfriend....and then you did a close up of Smitten Kunis and i was like......show me an futuristic structure...never watched anymore after that… Expand

0 of 3 users found this helpful03

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1

KentuckyCriticMar 3, 2015

This movie was actually painful to watch, and I kicked myself for not leaving early. They blew their $$ on special effects, and forgot to invest in a plot of any substance. I'm an avid science fiction fan, but I could not give this one aThis movie was actually painful to watch, and I kicked myself for not leaving early. They blew their $$ on special effects, and forgot to invest in a plot of any substance. I'm an avid science fiction fan, but I could not give this one a passing score. Anyone who gave this a positive score must have been high, drunk, or both (which actually would have bumped my score up by one).… Expand

0 of 3 users found this helpful03

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3

The_hamurMay 19, 2015

This is one of those movies made for watching just once. It numbs you with effects, great sound, great visuals. But the most you watch it, the most you hate it. Probably will be a cult movie in 30 years.

0 of 2 users found this helpful02

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1

psychomuseApr 30, 2016

I heard someone say this movie "ain't half bad." Well, it ain't half good either. Aside from some eye candy- the effects and the actors, [spoiler alert] this show blows.