Read Negative User Reviews for Jungle Cruise

1

DizzyJAug 6, 2021

Really really bad.
If this movie had been released in the 80's or 90's, when special effects and cliched writing was all you needed to get people into the cinema, it would've blended right in. But in this day and age it feels cheap andReally really bad.
If this movie had been released in the 80's or 90's, when special effects and cliched writing was all you needed to get people into the cinema, it would've blended right in. But in this day and age it feels cheap and tacky.. complete with an evil German, a jaguar that understands complete sentences, and whatever was left on the cutting room floor of The Mummy, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Indiana Jones.. not in a good way.. but thrown together in the most random bucket of wtf. And while I support a little bit of wokeness, it was clearly tacked on for marketing points. Lastly, it was too violent for kids, but too purile for teens. Honestly, would have a been an enjoyably forgettable movie of the 80's.… Expand

3 of 3 users found this helpful30

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0

deckAug 3, 2021

The film would probably have turned out well if 90% of the film had not been shot in the studio. To forego one or the other superfluous action scene would have been good. maybe the writer would have thought of a joke or two when she left theThe film would probably have turned out well if 90% of the film had not been shot in the studio. To forego one or the other superfluous action scene would have been good. maybe the writer would have thought of a joke or two when she left the hollywood studios. overall boring result. hollywood produces whenever you think it can't get any wors… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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leviathanargAug 8, 2021

Woke AF. I wanted to spent a nice time with my kids, spoiler, as a father and a man I did not have a good time. I cannot recommend this to any father.

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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3

meeeewAug 3, 2021

Just incompetently directed. CGI looked absurdly fake. Dialogue was vaguely amusing at some points but otherwise some mix of forgettable and try-too-hard.

The reviews that mention this movie trying to be the mummy are on point. That's all IJust incompetently directed. CGI looked absurdly fake. Dialogue was vaguely amusing at some points but otherwise some mix of forgettable and try-too-hard.

The reviews that mention this movie trying to be the mummy are on point. That's all I could think of while watching this. It's trying the whole movie. It never does or is anything of its own.… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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0

MllmelAug 2, 2021

So boring. I had to stop myself from leaving many times. It drags and the jokes arent funny. Not even chuckle worthy.

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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SuxToBuxNov 12, 2021

This movie was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The CGI was terrible and over used. The cinematography was abysmal. Overused sweeping and swooping shots. Just too much to list and I dont feel like wasting any more of my precious lifeThis movie was one of the worst movies I have ever seen. The CGI was terrible and over used. The cinematography was abysmal. Overused sweeping and swooping shots. Just too much to list and I dont feel like wasting any more of my precious life talking about this movie which was a total waste of resources and everyones time.… Expand

1 of 1 users found this helpful10

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mike20599Jul 30, 2021

Jungle Cruise is the latest movie to come out of Hollywood which falls into what I call the CG Social Justice Diarrhea-fest. These types of movies are heavy on fake-looking CG, and indignantly hit you over the head with social justice issues,Jungle Cruise is the latest movie to come out of Hollywood which falls into what I call the CG Social Justice Diarrhea-fest. These types of movies are heavy on fake-looking CG, and indignantly hit you over the head with social justice issues, and Jungle Cruise falls squarely into that category. From the beginning Emily Blunt is constantly told that she can't do things because she's a woman, but spoiler alert, she's better at everything then all the men! What a shocking twist! We've never seen that trope before have we? She's even better at fixing the engine of the steamboat than The Rock is, even though he's been using and repairing it for decades. Later on we find that her annoying brother is tagging along on the dangerous journey because he is a homosexual and society back then treated them poorly instead of throwing pride parades for them every day. Boo hoo! Keep your kids away from this one folks. Disney, how far you've fallen!… Expand

5 of 6 users found this helpful51

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ElthorAug 1, 2021

I watched this movie, not by choice, with very low expectations because of other reviews. I found it to be far far worse.

The cast, the only highlight, managed the best they could with the a poor script and terrible direction from JaumeI watched this movie, not by choice, with very low expectations because of other reviews. I found it to be far far worse.

The cast, the only highlight, managed the best they could with the a poor script and terrible direction from Jaume Collet-Serra. I suppose Disney spent all of its budget on cast and CG with nothing left for an experienced director of effects heavy summer blockbusters. Warner Bros. needs to rethink 'Black Adam' in a hurry.

The characters are uniformly unlikable for the first third of the film and weirdly inconsistent in motivations throughout.

The story is okay, but predictable. You'll probably see a lot of things coming ahead of time. Generally, the movie seems scripted for kids, but scary moments and some extreme violence are definitely meant for adults.

Action scenes, the main reason people will watch this movie, are badly edited. The beginning or end of some action beats are over-trimmed or from poor camera angles. They leave you scratching your head over what just happened. Considering the rest of the film, it's quite possible the director failed to shoot enough coverage for which the editor to work.

The soundtrack is awful and frequently as inappropriate as the score to 'Ladyhawke'.

Effects and CGI work are a mixed bag. Some is so good, you won't even notice it. Some is a rip-off of "Dead Man's Chest" and will take you out of the moment when you realize it. The worst is the CG animals, which are shockingly poor and look like they came from a 10 year old video game.

Ridiculously jarring is the modern idioms. They are out of place in 1916 and even further out of place in the Amazon basin of 1916.

I won't mention the stuffed in modern politics that don't serve any purpose to the plot or story, but it's 2020's Disney, so you probably already expect it.

Of course there are the 'Jungle Cruise' style jokes. Did I say style? Nope, many of the jokes are ripped right from the ride. So, if they were groaners before, they're painful now.

Finally, many better movies were shamelessly ripped off. "African Queen", which the Disneyland ride was based on, makes up a big chunk of the style and period. The beginning is largely "Atlantis the Lost Empire". Brendan Fraser's "Mummy" is robbed for theming, characters and a ladder gag. Sean Connery's "Medicine Man" is plundered for specifics of the Amazon and plot MacGuffin. Some backstory is taken from "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl", with monster design ripped straight from "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest". Gags were stolen from "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade" and "Despicable Me". Also copied is a tree from "Avatar". There is nothing original. I recommend watching any or all of those movies instead.

There was a time Disney would have hit this out of the park (pardon the pun). Disney is no longer that studio. There is little good or entertaining.
Do not waste your time. Do not waste your money.… Expand

5 of 6 users found this helpful51

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0

SkeoghAug 1, 2021

Just bad overall. Aiming it at children isn't an excuse for lazy writing and poor characters. Jack Whitehall can't act.

2 of 3 users found this helpful21

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3

Sean_The_CriticJul 30, 2021

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. The impressive cast in this movie could not make up for its boring dragged out plot, mediocre action scenes, and poor villains. Events just happened and that was it, the movie was simply boring.… Expand

3 of 5 users found this helpful32

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docpalAug 2, 2021

Most pathetic adventure once could experience?!The starting plot was a bit suspenseful, but within minutes you will realize that the director of the film was struggling to keep up with the suspense. Screenwriters have really tried hard toMost pathetic adventure once could experience?!The starting plot was a bit suspenseful, but within minutes you will realize that the director of the film was struggling to keep up with the suspense. Screenwriters have really tried hard to include some punch lines and stupid comedies, but as of today's film standards those comedies are far outdated and frankly speaking shouldn't be even considered funny by children. It wasn't an adventure movie at all by far as the name suggests, moreover just running the scripts to end the film. I suppose Disney have lost the charm. Total waste of 2 hours and the money that was spent for creating this pathetic cruise. Would recommend just to watch it once and never think about it again.… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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1

CaptiosusAug 17, 2021

Finally got around to watching Jungle Cruise and I honestly wish I hadn't. This movie did something few other movies have ever done: It made me resent the time it was wasting WHILE I was still watching it. About a third of the way in, I wasFinally got around to watching Jungle Cruise and I honestly wish I hadn't. This movie did something few other movies have ever done: It made me resent the time it was wasting WHILE I was still watching it. About a third of the way in, I was already checking out but we had spent the money so I decided to keep suffering through. By the end of the film I was angry at the film for wasting my time, angry at myself for falling victim to the sunk cost fallacy, and dumber for having sat through the entire thing.

The plot is nonsensical even by "Disney themepark rides turned movie" standards, the runtime is far too long, there's zero feeling of tension or suspense thanks to the constantly bad CGI and cringe dialog. The movie is replete with direct ripoffs of Indiana Jones, The Mummy, the first Jumanji movie, and even Pirates of the Caribbean. The movie doesn't even establish a consistent villain opting, instead, to provide us with two-and-a-half of them: Jesse Plemons' "Prince Joachim", Edgar Ramirez's "Aguirre", and an utterly wasted Paul Giamatti as "Nilo Nemolato", a brief foil to Dwayne Johnson's "Frank".

So many of the professional reviews say Johnson and Blunt saved this movie but I found them to be the two biggest annoyances in the entire thing. Dwayne Johnson doesn't know what role he's trying to play here -- is he playing the strong guy, the leading man guy, the comedic guy? He tries playing all of the above. His performance is so bad that if you compare it to his other work, films like San Andreas suddenly seem Oscar-worthy. And Emily Blunt's talents are completely and utterly wasted here. Blunt, who elevated lesser movies like Looper and Edge of Tomorrow, who played a fantastic Mary Poppins despite the doubters, and whose range was showcased in both A Quiet Place films was little more than a cheap knockoff of Rachael Wiesz's "Evie" from the Mummy. These same reviews praise their on screen chemistry... What chemistry? All they had were bad jokes. There was no Indiana/Marion or Rick/Evie chemistry in this film compared to Indiana Jones or The Mummy, respectively. Hell, the romantic subplots of the made-for-TV "The Librarian" movies with Noah Wyle have more chemistry.

1 out of 10, and I'm being generous here. A complete waste of time and space and not deserving of being associated with the word "cinema". Complete trash, avoid like the plague. There are literally dozens of better options within the same genre than this tripe.… Expand