Damsel

Magnolia Pictures | Release Date: June 22, 2018

5.2	USER SCORE Mixed or average reviews based on 25 Ratings

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damselsucksJul 1, 2018

What a piece of crap. I’ve seen movies that were worse, but few that I deeply wanted to leave early more or that pissed me off as much. It has *some* merit (beautifully shot, a couple amusing moments). But ultimately: millennial garbage parWhat a piece of crap. I’ve seen movies that were worse, but few that I deeply wanted to leave early more or that pissed me off as much. It has *some* merit (beautifully shot, a couple amusing moments). But ultimately: millennial garbage par excellence. These two brothers wrote and directed it, and they clearly think they are the Coen brothers with a hint of Wes Anderson for whimsy. What’s more, they stole their take on male hope-projection onto a beautiful women from a much better film: There’s Something About Mary.

In attempting to subvert masculine cowboy tropes, they made a hack film of a different sort: one that is accepted because it panders to popular opinion among people who go to the renovated art house movie theater in the part of town they gentrified with their trust fund bucks. It isn’t that the opinion is wrong or uninteresting in and of itself, it’s just relayed in this film in such a hack, lazy, glib, boring way by people certain they’re more clever than they are.

It would have taken an amazing female lead to overcome the middle-school quality writing and all-too woke directing; their naturalistic take on zany Wes Anderson-movie dialogue was excruciating in certain scenes and I could have easily believed a teenager wrote it. But what was committed to film was one of the worst performances I’ve ever seen by an actor. To believe this woman was capable of starring in this or any picture is a strong indication you’re as irrationally obsessed with her as the film’s characters.

The result of all of this is a movie only certain people could enjoy: privileged white young women who can’t get enough of having their shallow politics pandered to and the men who subconsciously know they must share the same opinions if they want a social life, so they self-righteously and vociferously do: in other words, woke drama queens who will their victimhood while boasting their empowerment and their male allies (tm)/hangers on. Great movies don’t pander. They make people find unlikely surrogates. True subversion requires excellence and subtlety this film doesn’t come close to touching as it bashes its hack message into the faces of too many grateful to be bludgeoned with their own ideas. It doesn’t even require pretentious art house claptrap to attempt to subvert. Blockbusters like The Hunger Games--a film where the damsel is literally a cute, cake-baking boy who is saved by the ass-kicking heroine--do much more to change expectations and advance gender relations. That’s in no small part because that movie is well crafted. It’s a good movie to a broad audience (no pun intended). Damsel preaches sloppily to its own choir of loathsome millennial hipsters. I’d be just as pissed off watching a Kurt Cameron loves Jesus movie that pandered to evangelicals, and I'd be pissed for for the same exact reason. However, what's really troubling is the thought that this is the future of media post #MeToo. Indeed, that's scarier than Hereditary.… Expand

2 of 4 users found this helpful22

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nntrancerJul 11, 2018

I managed to stay awake through this yawner and resisted heading for the exit as the only remedy for one of the worst movies I've seen. The writing was terrible. I never realized that it was a comedy until I read the reviews. I just thoughtI managed to stay awake through this yawner and resisted heading for the exit as the only remedy for one of the worst movies I've seen. The writing was terrible. I never realized that it was a comedy until I read the reviews. I just thought people were laughing at the ridiculous dialogue, scenes that apparently were supposed to be funny but seemed irrelevant instead, and scenes that didn't make sense. Moreover, it was obvious how the reunion was going to turn out from the beginning. I will admit the scenery and cinematography were quite pleasing. The only character I liked was the miniature horse.… Expand

1 of 2 users found this helpful11

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PanchogulJun 14, 2020

Inmensamente aburrida, historia poco interesante, lenta y excesivamente sobreactuada.

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

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StrikeguyOct 20, 2019

This review contains spoilers, click expand to view. That would be one of THE WORST movies I have ever seen in my entire life. This film had no point, no plot & no acting. Only thing that was good would be the scenery for only 30 minutes. Who wrote this film anyway?… Expand

0 of 0 users found this helpful00

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