China Salesman

| Release Date: June 15, 2018

3.4	USER SCORE Generally unfavorable reviews based on 9 Ratings

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TheQuietGamerAug 25, 2018

Two warring telecom companies compete to win a bid that will give them control over the communication between the north and the south of Africa. A totally boring premise, but thanks to the treacherous motives of a French spy the countryTwo warring telecom companies compete to win a bid that will give them control over the communication between the north and the south of Africa. A totally boring premise, but thanks to the treacherous motives of a French spy the country erupts into a civil war. This where the cheesiness really starts to shine through, turning this poorly directed, acted, and written Chinese B-movie into an unintentional trash cinema treasure.

Those interested in seeing Mike Tyson and Steven Seagal duke it out might be happy to know that their fight takes place in the first ten minutes of the movie. It's one of the most over-the-top and accidentally silly bits of martial arts I've ever witnessed. Plus, given the pains taken to ensure that we never see the other's face when one of them is displaying their moves, it's obvious they weren't even on set at the same time. And I kid you not that the whole things starts because Seagal tries to make Tyson drink pee. We get treated to some hilarious dialog as a result. You can't make this stuff up!

Seagal himself really isn't in the movie much. Kind of making his appearance here feel more like an extended cameo than anything. Not really a bad thing though as his constant mumbling makes much of his dialog unintelligible. Tyson is given more to do, although his acting is just as suspect. The former heavyweight champion regularly slips out of his faux accent at several points in the film for some reason. Just straight up stops using it. The way he yells "FIRE" while driving the tank might be the greatest thing ever.

Once it gets past explaining the rather uninteresting details of the telecom industry, China Salesman becomes a lot of dumb fun. We basically just watch the unassuming protagonist get repeatedly screwed over by people who want to discredit him, but still manage to stay in the game thanks to his quick thinking. There's also a weirdly cute unspoken romance with Janicke Askevold (the only person onscreen who can act) blooming in the background. The third act lost me a bit as there's less cheesy action and more inane, confusing plotting. The badly acted melodramatic moments still provide some "what am I watching?" style laughs though.

China Salesman is definitely a propaganda piece. As an American I have seen my own country do this exact same thing time and time again. So I'm not about to insult it for that. I will however point out how goofy it's displays of Chinese nationalism often are. At one point the main character states that China "never enslaved anybody." On top of being factually innacurate it's also delivered at the weirdest possible moment. Kind of hard to not let out at least a chuckle.

This might be "The Room" of foreign action films.

- It's a work of complete narcissism

- Ineptly made

- Poorly acted

- Unintentionally hilarious

- And even ends with a suicide

It's just got better production values.

The best bad movies are the ones that think they're actually masterpieces. This describes China Salesman to a T.
It's campy, cheesy, weird, and pretty freaking dumb. Basically a rollicking good time for any trash cinema enthusiast.

Did I mention the whole thing is supposedly based on a true story?… Expand

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MattBrady99Jul 3, 2021

I see Steven Seagal has taken Bruce Willis level of commitment to film, which is not being on set for longer than 30 minutes.

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kissmartJun 21, 2018

Horrible plot with horrible acting.The second worst movie of the year, the first one is the I feel pretty.

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AGX1Feb 23, 2020

Well worth watching. Good plot( based on true facts), great fight sequence (Tyson vs Seagal) and well directed and acted. This is about how and why 3G became public domain and changed the future of the mobile phone world. I suspect DH areWell worth watching. Good plot( based on true facts), great fight sequence (Tyson vs Seagal) and well directed and acted. This is about how and why 3G became public domain and changed the future of the mobile phone world. I suspect DH are playing Huawei, I wonder who MTM are playing.. Any guesses who’s trying to discourage viewers by giving it a low score?… Expand

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