Airborne

Airborne is a fairly shameless little picture, but at least it follows the First Rule of Cinema. It gives us something interesting to watch: the climactic hill race, with the largely unidentifiable racers zooming and hurdling one another on hairpin hillside curves...Unfortunately, Airborne also follows the First Rule of Bad Movies. Instead of telling a story, the filmmakers follow an outline (or, in this case, an in-line). Read full review

High production values and a moderately appealing cast do nothing to ameliorate the tedium... The sappy concoction concludes with a genuinely impressive race sequence, but it’s not worth the wait. Read full review

Airborne is cursed with a multiple-personality disorder. Part surfing ode, part pacifist lecture and part skating story, "Airborne" wastes plenty of celluloid developing throwaway story lines. By the time some exciting skating scenes show up, the film is two-thirds over. [18 Sept 1993, p.20]

But the movie itself, despite a pretty funny scene early on in which Mitchell, a dyed-in-the-wool California surfer, tries to ingratiate himself to a class full of urban Cincinnati kids, is dull and conventional. Nice stunts, though. [21 Sept 1993, p.E6]

Like, so lame. Read full review

Fortunately, the movie is so flat and boring that any children who might be tempted to ape its stunts will probably not sit still long enough to see them. Read full review

If someone had spent half as much time thinking about the characters in Airborne as thinking about what filters to apply to the camera, then there might have been a semi-decent teen action movie here. Read full review

Daytime serial star Shane McDermott and "cha-ching" man Seth Green vie to create the most annoying teen screen personality this side of Pauly Shore in "Airborne," a high-velocity skating movie that remains hopelessly earthbound. [22 Sept 1993, p.E10]

For anyone who saw this movie while yet unaware of its horrifying potential for stealing money and time, you have my condolences. For those who stubbornly proceed while knowing the awful truth, you deserve what you get. Don't expect any sympathy from me if you're arrested while trying to burn the film or kill the projectionist. Read full review

In the climactic team rollerblade race down the "devil's backbone," this Warner Bros. throwaway tries to combine "Rollerball" and "Breaking Away" for a wow finish that will leave audiences awestruck and cheering. Skaters crash into fences, hit their heads on spittoons, smash genitals-first into trees, jump over cars, slide under semis and battle each other. But this absurdly contrived hokum, poorly shot and edited, is the final insult in what is overall a new low for teen-targeted, big-screen pulp. [20 Sept 1993]