Coffee Crisis

 Switch
User Score
4.3

Generally unfavorable reviews- based on 8 Ratings

User score distribution:
  1. Positive: 1 out of 8
  2. Mixed: 3 out of 8
  3. Negative: 4 out of 8

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  1. moshlyfe
    Jan 6, 2019
    7
    As a big fan of both metal and coffee, this game speaks to me from a conceptual and stylistic standpoint. The soundtrack is badass and the visuals are incredibly charming, but the one thing that drives me nuts about this game is how unbalanced the combat can be from time to time. If you're playing 1P, good luck. The onslaught of enemies--seemingly every 5 seconds--leaves you scrambling toAs a big fan of both metal and coffee, this game speaks to me from a conceptual and stylistic standpoint. The soundtrack is badass and the visuals are incredibly charming, but the one thing that drives me nuts about this game is how unbalanced the combat can be from time to time. If you're playing 1P, good luck. The onslaught of enemies--seemingly every 5 seconds--leaves you scrambling to try and figure out a strategy to take out all these bad guys while somehow reserving enough health to keep moving. Your "special attack" deals damage to your health, so it's almost completely useless when fighting multiple enemies. This game has plenty of charm and I keep coming back to it because it's interesting and funny as hell, but I just wish I felt like I was being rewarded for taking down multiple enemies at once with more than just a 25 point power-up.… Expand
  2. Atx777
    Oct 21, 2019
    2
    By far, one of the absolute worst Beat-em-ups I’ve ever thrown down with. It’s intriguing art and concept is awash in a diarrhea ocean of: terrible design, completely random difficulty spikes and delayed inputs. There is zero depth to this game aside from mashing buttons and jumping during its constant onslaught of randomly grouped thugs and aliens. You can also throw an opponent butBy far, one of the absolute worst Beat-em-ups I’ve ever thrown down with. It’s intriguing art and concept is awash in a diarrhea ocean of: terrible design, completely random difficulty spikes and delayed inputs. There is zero depth to this game aside from mashing buttons and jumping during its constant onslaught of randomly grouped thugs and aliens. You can also throw an opponent but lining that up feels completely hit or miss and it’s a stupid thing to do in a crowd anyway because it freezes you in place to get mauled by the obnoxious mob. This goes double for the ‘special’ move either of the main characters can use because it drains your HP so fast, it’s another pointless and fruitless strategy. The pacing is absolutely murdered due to the very frequent enmasse of those swarms and there’s little strategy indeed when all you can muster to do during most of them is jump around frantically and hope your kick connects with... something... anything. The game tries to cover up its shallow gameplay with also randomized screen effects (which can range from simple temporary scan lines to a truly eye-bleeding red filter that makes discerning what the hell is actually happening onscreen near impossible. I just can’t believe what the flying f—- they were thinking with this overbearing and simply unfun design. Somewhat cool metal music and nice animations do not save it. I am not joking when I say “I want my dollar back!”… Expand
  3. 519MaLoNeY
    Feb 6, 2020
    5
    It looks the part but MY GaWd...it's just...idk, no joke it's quite literally an unacceptable release entirely. I'm a 38 yo semi-hardcore couch gaming pro and I'm always looking past things here n there if the game experience isn't comprised to a point of having to deal with a poorly McGuiver'd together mess. (am i right?? us reasonable gamers have learned to accept & adapt)...
    This game    It looks the part but MY GaWd...it's just...idk, no joke it's quite literally an unacceptable release entirely. I'm a 38 yo semi-hardcore couch gaming pro and I'm always looking past things here n there if the game experience isn't comprised to a point of having to deal with a poorly McGuiver'd together mess. (am i right?? us reasonable gamers have learned to accept & adapt)...
    This game titled Coffee Crisis looked, sounded n seemed like a simple homage to beloved childhood sidescroller-BeatEmUps of the 80s-90s...All I'm gonna say about this game is that "the hit detection isn't consistent or defined as it feels like there's a bubble of fuzz around your character and if you touch or rub enemies with this imaginary aura they at times react in various ways that seem like they've been hit...NO EXAGGERATION, kicking, punching & spinning around with the coffee bag DOESN'T result in proper fighting game sounds n action :(
    ...and i still keep replaying it sometimes, thinking i was overly critical...so i begin with a fresh experience in mind and its never good, those moments cut deep...the experience of playing this game physically hurts :'(    … Expand
  4. ichmarich
    Jun 26, 2022
    1
    Worst beat-up game that ever made. The controls on PC version is sucks, and the good things is only their metalcore music.

Critic Reviews

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Metascore
60

Mixed or average reviews - based on 10 Critic Reviews

Critic score distribution:
  1. Positive: 2 out of 10
  2. Mixed: 7 out of 10
  3. Negative: 1 out of 10
  1. Nintendo Life
    Feb 2, 2024
    70
    Coffee Crisis is a great throwback to arcade beat ‘em ups of the early '90s. Its 16-bit aesthetic screams retro Sega, though we would’ve preferred a traditional chiptune soundtrack truly reminiscent of the Mega Drive, rather than the heavy rock score the developers have opted for. This doesn’t take away from the polished style and traditional gameplay, however. Combined with the quirky story and indie humour, this promises a great time.
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  2. Switch Player
    Jan 13, 2020
    70
    Coffee Crisis is an excellent take on the beat ’em up genre overflowing with 80s and 90s nostalgia and heavy metal, although it is a shorter experience than we would have liked. The humour and personality spill through to the point you’ll remember this one months down the line.
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  3. FNintendo
    May 21, 2019
    50
    It's certainly absurdly fun and features a fantastic soundtrack but its rather short lifespan, maladjusted difficulty level and unhelpful roguelike elements mean that Coffee Crisis ends up creating expectations which it doesn't manage to live up to.
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