The Crush House

The Crush House is an interesting game that combines FPS elements with exploration, time management, and strategy, all with a narrative that makes you want to marathon the game all the way to the season finale. It’s a game that can only ever be a game, as the impact of the story wouldn’t be the same in another format. While enjoyable, I do suggest having something else to do on hand. Once the audience gets what they want, the drama of reality TV loses its luster, leaving nothing but vapid and repetitive content behind.

The Crush House is a FPS where you shoot with your camera instead of a gun. It really encapsulates the reality TV format, but like reality TV, it did run the risk of getting repetitive after too many seasons.

The Crush House turns reality TV into the funniest puzzle game you'll ever play.

The Crush House might not be the perfect production players were hoping for but what’s there is a really good time and at least always fun. The nature of working and grinding to line up the perfect shot to watch the numbers tick up as you satisfy weird audiences from all walks of life is novel and never gets old. Yes, this means you’re not always authentically re-creating the filming of reality TV as you instead focus on props and the environment in the interest of points, hurting the spotlight on its cast. Though when you can focus on its characters they’re all irreverent, queer and delightfully heinous. I found myself always ready to drop everything for them at the drop of a hat as I tended to their ridiculous tasks, slowly working to an enticing sinister narrative that was hiding underneath. If all else, I could never accuse The Crush House’s beauty of being skin-deep. It is weird, extra, juicy and unapologetic as all hell. It’s exactly what it should be.

The Crush House has its share of solid moments, but it ends up oscillating between creativity and boredom. The day to day filming schedule needed to be spruced up to avoid repetitive dialogue and bland footage.

Crush House tries its hardest to make it all seem fascinating, but, ultimately, there’s just not enough here to make it so.

Quotation forthcoming.

It is agonising to try and share some final thoughts for The Crush House. The concept and execution at its core is top notch, offering a brilliant twist on some existing gimmicks that just aren’t all that common. The disappointment comes from the end of the honeymoon period, where you find yourself hungry for just a little more depth to really reach your TV production potential. I have rarely found a game that offered such a concise gameplay loop, that was wildly fun to engage with and excited you to master it – only to then hit your head on the ceiling of your ambitions in rapid fashion. While my gripes might paint a picture of this game not being a recommendation, I have to insist that the fun parts of The Crush House are absurdly fun. This isn’t a case of the game being broken or unloved, quite the opposite – it is an exceptional level of potential not quite reaching its zenith. Film some butts, see for yourself.

There are some interesting ideas at play here and the reality TV show simulation genre is far from crowded, but the problem is that there is so little to the actual core gameplay. The voyeuristic nature of reality TV makes this a game in which you spend a lot of time simply listening to the characters speak to each other and finding that what they have to say isn’t all that interesting. I can’t help but feel that if this was more of a real simulation of reality TV that gave you a lot more control in staging and forcing dramatic moments, then The Crush House would be more fun to play. As it is, it’s a bit of curiosity that will keep your interest about as long as it does your fictional viewers’.

The Crush House is a chaotic and entertaining experience that delivers fun in short bursts. However, its lack of depth and lasting appeal means it’s more of a spectacle than a substantial game. It’s enjoyable while it lasts, but don’t expect it to hold your attention for long.

There are some really nice ideas in The Crush House, but ultimately it’s unable to tie any of it together in a meaningful way. Fans of dating sims will probably get a real kick out of the first few seasons of the game, but before long the crushing repetition sets in and you find yourself sinking to new lows to satisfy an ever-dwindling audience of perverts. I guess it’s a lot more like reality TV than I gave it credit for, actually.