Witney Seibold

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IGN, Slashfilm
For 70 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 67% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 31% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 3.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Witney Seibold's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 62
Highest review score: 97 Sorry to Bother You
Lowest review score: 20 Hurry Up Tomorrow
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 37 out of 70
  2. Mixed: 28 out of 70
  3. Negative: 5 out of 70
70 movie reviews
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    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Primate
    In terms of cheap, late-night, exploitation flick fun, it satisfies.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 70 Witney Seibold
    The Book of Clarence
    The Book of Clarence is aspirational, unique, moving, funny, weird, and very shaggy. But it's better to have a picture's cup runneth over than to present us with an empty chalice.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 78 Witney Seibold
    Cold Pursuit
    Cold Pursuit is partly a great action thriller, and Liam Neeson is still kicking plenty of butt, but the film is mostly an intriguing, relaxing, totally tuckered-out character study of old men running out of the energy required to run a criminal enterprise. As thrillers go, this one is more adult than your average.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 68 Witney Seibold
    The House with a Clock in Its Walls
    An exciting and scary final act makes up for a middling kid horror fantasy that is marked by a slow start and an inappropriately comedic tone.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 75 Witney Seibold
    The Ritual
    While not exactly transcending the familiarity of its very predictable genre, The Ritual is a spooky, shadowy horror film with good character work, an excellent mood, some provocative themes, excellent lighting, and a scary... thing... that horror fans will love.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 55 Witney Seibold
    Mufasa: The Lion King
    Mufasa will satisfy, but it also feels ultimately useless. Like Disney is once again spinning its wheels, trying to wring billions of dollars out of old ideas while they brainstorm new ones. Fans of "The Lion King" may be slightly moved. At the very least, you'll finally know how Rafiki got his stick.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Witney Seibold
    Drive-Away Dolls
    It's a lightweight, weirdly teen-friendly (but very R-rated) slumber party movie with an upbeat and liberating "be gay, do crime" vibe. It's a queer, hand grenade-shaped squeak toy. 
    • 54 Metascore
    • 70 Witney Seibold
    Kickboxer: Retaliation
    While hardly high cinema, Kickboxer: Retaliation is an enjoyable fight epic with some awesome fighting, great cameos, and hugely impressive stunts.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Once Upon a Deadpool
    Once Upon a Deadpool is a cute idea that doesn't live up to its potential, leaving audiences with little more than a less interesting version of a better movie they might have loved.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 59 Witney Seibold
    Goosebumps 2: Haunted Halloween
    The Halloween monster mash iconography is incredibly strong and the cast is excellent, but Goosebumps 2 is in far too much of a hurry – and perhaps too eager to be widely accessible – to be actually scary or wholly effective.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 61 Witney Seibold
    SuperFly
    Superfly features an appealing lead, and captures small tastes of amazing, striking cool, but is also bogged down by plot and characters that reduce an otherwise slick flick into something that is more capable than amazing.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 60 Witney Seibold
    Quasi
    Despite the film's clear edict to include as many tasteless jokes as possible . . . Quasi possesses a strangely disarming, hangout quality, leaving it feeling ultimately harmless and even a little bit friendly.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 65 Witney Seibold
    The Equalizer 2
    The Equalizer 2's conventional storytelling is certainly weak, and the violence is particularly brutal, but Denzel Washington and Antoine Fuqua have created a unique Punisher-with-heart vigilante character that is a pleasant thrill to watch and a modest delight to revisit.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 65 Witney Seibold
    Snow White
    Ultimately, Snow White is better than "Beauty and the Beast" and "The Little Mermaid" — by a long shot — but it's not as good as Branagh's "Cinderella" or Burton's "Dumbo." And, sadly, it overall still bears the boring sheen of a corporate mandate. This is another cynical enterprise, tapping into certain nostalgic images in the hopes that we'll pay for the same high we had as children.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 58 Witney Seibold
    Mary Shelley
    Mary Shelley's fascinating life story is told to contain a few brief glimpses of modern insight, but ultimately weakens under its over-use of conventional, romantic storytelling tropes.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 40 Witney Seibold
    TRON: Ares
    Jared Leto also proves to be a less-than-stellar leading man.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 75 Witney Seibold
    Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire
    "Godzilla x Kong" is infectiously fun, raucous, and, in the 8-year-old sense, awesome. One will not take much away from "Godzilla x Kong," but you'll leave the theater with a big damn fool grin on your face.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 61 Witney Seibold
    Beyond Skyline
    You'll certainly find better alien mayhem films than Beyond Skyline, but some creative special effects, interesting fights, and fun, alien brain-sucking will keep you moderately – but solidly – entertained.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 60 Witney Seibold
    The Platform 2
    It is superior in acting, lighting, pacing, and clarity. It's also raw and confrontational in a satisfying way. But it's also a glorified remake more than it is a sequel. "Platform 2" is not an expansion, but a retread, nihilistically sifting through violence and cannibalism to get to a point it repeated over and over. Second verse, same as the first. 
    • 45 Metascore
    • 70 Witney Seibold
    A Minecraft Movie
    Hess and his army of screenwriters (only five are credited) have taken the wisest possible route with their adaptation: A Minecraft Movie is a broad, slapstick farce without a hint of seriousness, reverence, or coolness. The most shocking thing? It's not terrible. 
    • 44 Metascore
    • 71 Witney Seibold
    Brightburn
    Brightburn doesn't take its satire to any kind of satisfying extreme – although a mid-credits stinger does include a larger joke at work – but as a superhero murder thriller, it is perfectly entertaining.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 45 Witney Seibold
    A Big Bold Beautiful Journey
    It's not that big, it's hardly bold, and it's only beautiful on its surface. It could have been a journey.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Fountain of Youth
    The film lacks the wonderment and excitement of Indiana Jones, but it's not quite as dumb as "The Da Vinci Code," and certainly less obnoxious than, say, "Red Notice."
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Witney Seibold
    The Week Of
    As usual, Adam Sandler presents a mean-spirited comedy, but an unengaged cast and uninspired writing also make The Week Of a bore.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 45 Witney Seibold
    The Exorcist: Believer
    "Believer" is not the worst "Exorcist" film by any stretch, but it's certainly the least intriguing. It's a rote, choppy thriller that forgets to scare us.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 59 Witney Seibold
    The Darkest Minds
    The Darkest Minds is a wholly rote YA sci-fi adventure that continues a genre that is pretty much dying out. Despite this, the film is capable and enjoyable and features a great lead actress in Amandla Stenberg.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Michael
    "Michael" emerges as whatever the opposite of a warts-and-all biography is. This is a polished, flavorless, cracks-free paean to Jackson, celebrating his highs and only sometimes looking at the lows, as if they were mere dust-bunnies under the couch.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Flight Risk
    In execution, it feels like a neophyte director's confident first turn. Perhaps shabby, but well-meaning, and only occasionally straining against its obviously limited means. 
    • 36 Metascore
    • 52 Witney Seibold
    Action Point
    Action Point contains some crazy stunts and some funny-ish gross-out humor, but is ultimately a pale echo of the dark destruction Johnny Knoxville became famous for.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Kraven the Hunter
    Sony, still possessing the film rights to Spider-Man, decided to make an interconnected Spider-Man Villain universe, of which "Kraven the Hunter" is the final chapter. Watching Chandor's film, though, one can see that neither the studio nor the filmmakers are interested in starting anything anymore. There is no presumption that fans will be interested in long-form mythmaking, and sequel teases remain light. This allows "Kraven" to be stupid on its own. And, in a weird way, that's a relief. We're free.
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