Robert Wilonsky

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Dallas Observer, New Times (L.A.), Village Voice
For 397 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 31% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 67% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 15.9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Robert Wilonsky's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 50
Highest review score: 100 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Lowest review score: 0 Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 133 out of 397
  2. Mixed: 145 out of 397
  3. Negative: 119 out of 397
397 movie reviews
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    • 37 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Be Cool
    Redundant to the point of being absolutely pointless, a sequel that's almost a note-for-note, beat-for-beat redo of its predecessor, only with all the entertaining stuff left out.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Bad Company
    If this it supposed to be comedy, why isn't it ever, for one second, funny?
    • New Times (L.A.)
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    The Crew
    For the large-type crowd, one that prefers to have its "dirty" clean and silly.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Honey
    Certainly it exists solely to sell a soundtrack; the movie, like most made for teens, is well beside the point.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Cold Creek Manor
    Deafeningly dull movie.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle
    A whole lot of something about nothing.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Little Black Book
    It's a self-satisfied, self-loathing mess that demands you adore and cheer for the very person you come to hate well before its 105 minutes are up. Little Black Book will leave you feeling skuzzy.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Biker Boyz
    There's no kick to its bag of tricks...It's a mild one among biker pics, a tricycle only pretending to be a Hog.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Big Fat Liar
    A bland, obnoxious 88-minute infomercial for Universal Studios.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
    When the movie's not playing stupid, it's aiming for sickly sweet sincerity. It's such a jarring and inevitably juvenile juxtaposition it comes off like a Hallmark card parody written by the staffers at "Cracked."
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Rumor Has It...
    Stay away: Everything about the movie is rinky-dink, from its phony, lifeless dialogue to its drab, shabby sitcom look to its choppy editing, all of which can wear on you after 95 minutes that come to feel like an eternity.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Scooby-Doo
    Warner Bros. is presumably aiming this movie not at children but at full-grown dopers with bad munchies glued to the Cartoon Network. Dude, pass the Scooby snacks.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Gone in Sixty Seconds
    It's barely a movie at all, more like a thousand car commercials spliced together in an hour.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Event Horizon
    It's too bad, then, that Anderson (whose only other major credit is "Mortal Kombat," but of course) and first-time screenwriter Philip Eisner felt so compelled to do away with suspense and turn Event Horizon into a big-budget slasher film.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Loser
    It's too easy, but here goes: This movie's a Loser. Sorry.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Mission to Mars
    One can only assume all the, ah, good stuff landed on the cutting-room floor, because it sure as hell didn't make it to Mars.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Robert Wilonsky
    Bewitched
    This hackneyed, hapless and utterly useless redo of an overrated 1960s sitcom is excruciating to sit through for a dozen reasons.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    Miss Congeniality 2: Armed & Fabulous
    If the first movie played like a midseason TV pilot, its successor comes off like an extended episode of a generic sitcom.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    On the Line
    This pallid little ditty, like the rest of Lance Bass and pals' oeuvre, is soulless, banal and derivative.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Isn't She Great
    An utter drag, a tepid and sterilized telling of Susann's life.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 0 Robert Wilonsky
    Basic
    Basic really brings to mind a Travolta film from 2000, "Battlefield Earth," in that it's so astonishingly awful it becomes a sort of kinky pleasure; just when you think Travolta has fallen to the bottom of the barrel, he pulls out a shovel and dons his miner's helmet to see what lies beneath.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Merci Docteur Rey
    Andrew Litvack, whose inability to direct is outweighed only by his inability to write anything remotely witty, enlightening, or engaging. Calling this a farce would be, well, a farce.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Eulogy
    Feels like a quirky sitcom -- "Arrested Development" without the development.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Detroit Rock City
    A turgid, unfunny, out-of-time rockspolitation movie.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Welcome to Mooseport
    Welcome to Mooseport... is intended to be a comedy; that hypothesis is a generous leap of faith, given the fact that "House of Sand and Fog" contains more moments of mirth than this rather joyless exercise in waste and torpor.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Uptown Girls
    Seems far too familiar for comfort. "About a Boy," anyone?
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Impostor
    Turns out some folks just don't know Philip K. Dick about making movies.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    The Man
    Indeed, this is the very kind of lame-brained folly Levy and his SCTV cohorts used to mock on their old show; now it's how he makes rent.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    The Dukes of Hazzard
    The movie's so unfunny, it almost appears to be that way on purpose, kind of like an Ingmar Bergman film.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    The Punisher
    The Punisher would be almost offensive were it not so inconsequential. There's just something terribly off-putting about a movie in which every gruesome death is a punch line, where a villain's homosexuality is used to lure him to his death and dozens of innocents are gunned down just to launch a film franchise.
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