Robert Wilonsky

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Dallas Observer, New Times (L.A.), Village Voice
For 397 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 31% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 67% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 15.9 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Robert Wilonsky's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 50
Highest review score: 100 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Lowest review score: 0 Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 133 out of 397
  2. Mixed: 145 out of 397
  3. Negative: 119 out of 397
397 movie reviews
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    • 47 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    The Passion of the Christ
    It's too turgid to awe the nonbelievers, too zealous to inspire and often too silly to take seriously, with its demonic hallucinations that look like escapees from a David Lynch film; I swear I couldn't find the devil carrying around a hairy-backed midget anywhere in the text I read.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    The Kingdom
    The Kingdom is essentially "C.S.I.: Riyadh," starring Jamie Foxx in yet another movie his Oscar statue will watch with shame.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Scream 3
    It's time to run, screaming.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 70 Robert Wilonsky
    Game 6
    Keaton's so good you almost forget how wonderful Downey is as Steven Schwimmer.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 70 Robert Wilonsky
    The Family Stone
    As ridiculous, as mawkish and schizophrenic as The Family Stone is, it's also surprisingly endearing.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 70 Robert Wilonsky
    It's All Gone Pete Tong
    This is phony, absolutely, but the good feeling it leaves behind is plenty real.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 70 Robert Wilonsky
    Camp
    "Meatballs" handled the sleep-away sex stuff better; here it feels like filler between the killer musical numbers that make even special guest Stephen Sondheim smile on his way out the door.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 80 Robert Wilonsky
    The Truth About Charlie
    Charlie doesn't have a point, doesn't give a damn about giving a damn. It is what it is: a beautiful goof, a drunken supermodel in search of one more party before the sun comes up.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 60 Robert Wilonsky
    Love Actually
    Feels less like a brand-new movie than a greatest-hits compendium. It offers nothing new and instead makes do with presenting the warmed-over like something pulled fresh from the oven.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    Starsky & Hutch
    Starsky & Hutch is less homage to an old cop show than a tribute to the people who made the movie--a circle pat on the back. And no obvious joke goes untouched.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    I Heart Huckabees
    Russell, a former student of Buddhist monk-philosopher Robert Thurman's, is reaching too far, straining too hard, saying too much that adds up to so little after all the mumbos and jumbos tallied up by film's end.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 80 Robert Wilonsky
    Hearts in Atlantis
    As stirring as it is slight, as effective as it is familiar.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    The Missing
    The only thing The Missing isn't missing is a handful of climaxes, all of them of the anti- variety that leave you believing, then praying the movie's over a good 30 minutes before its actual and inevitable finale.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 0 Robert Wilonsky
    Road Trip
    It ranks (indeed, it is rank) among the most soul-deadening movies ever made; it has no pulse and seeks to steal yours with a cynical vengeance.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    Art School Confidential
    It works for a good while--probably half of the movie.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    Die, Mommie, Die!
    Busch, responsible for the similarly hit-and-miss-that's-a-mister "Psycho Beach Party," has a good idea; two in one movie would make him absolutely fabulous.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    Return to Me
    Trite and silly, but, blast it, the movie has a good heart.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Observe and Report
    Yes, the "Taxi Driver" parallels are intentional: Hill spells them out in the press notes, all but branding Observe and Report a Scorsesefied remake that reeks of stale Cinnabon.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Assault on Precinct 13
    Aims to be loud, dumb fun, only it takes itself too seriously to offer anything approaching a good time.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World
    A particularly painful event for those of us weaned on Brooks' earliest films, Saturday Night Live shorts and vintage clips of his deadpan standup appearances. It contains precisely two funny moments.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 60 Robert Wilonsky
    De-Lovely
    Ultimately, it's the songs that energize this highlight, and lowlight, reel; you may forget the movie when you walk out of the theater, but you will do so while humming the soundtrack.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    Palindromes
    The heroes are villains, the villains are heroes, and in between are the innocents who become casualties in their wars waged in the names of morality and righteousness.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    Enemy at the Gates
    The love story, not to mention plot holes large enough to swallow entire platoons, so bogs down the story that whatever tension the Vassili-Konig confrontation creates disappears every time Weisz appears on-screen; she tears apart comrades--and the movie.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    A Good Woman
    The real fault with this movie lies less with the clunky screenplay from Himelstein than with the acting, of which there is very little of note.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Beauty Shop
    A spin-off of a sequel... It doesn't even try to be different, because it assumes the moviegoer wants only the same-ol' and then offers even less.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest
    Whatever goodwill one harbored toward the first Pirates film is quickly dashed by its sneering successor, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, which is less a film than a two-and-a-half-hour trailer for the final installment in this accidental trilogy.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Charlie's Angels
    It tries to be both camp and action film--send-up and kick-ass. But it delivers so little on both fronts.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Barenaked in America
    The film has no form or function; at best, it's a 90-minute infomercial.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 50 Robert Wilonsky
    Anger Management
    What's most astonishing is that a film populated by two madmen can grow so wearying and dull; the movie crawls toward its climax, which is so barmy it's almost surreal.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 40 Robert Wilonsky
    Down with Love
    Hunter's movies never condescended to the audience; they never winked, never pretended to be a mere Playboy party joke. Which is precisely why Down With Love, which strives to be to "Pillow Talk" what "Far From Heaven" was to "All That Heaven Allows," is such a disaster: It winks so hard it lapses right into a coma.
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