Rob Staeger

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L.A. Weekly, Village Voice
For 73 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 54% higher than the average critic
  • 4% same as the average critic
  • 42% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 15.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Rob Staeger's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 50
Highest review score: 90 Creepy
Lowest review score: 0 Nothing Left to Fear
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 21 out of 73
  2. Mixed: 30 out of 73
  3. Negative: 22 out of 73
73 movie reviews
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    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    The Super
    Naturally, not everything is what it seems; there are a couple of necessary untruths even in this plot synopsis. But the part where it seems like some excellent actors have been roped into propping up a hopelessly by-the-numbers horror movie? That’s totally on the level.
    • 17 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    Assholes
    What begins as revolting and off the rails peters out into a weak-sauce final payoff presented as an intervention-themed reality show, so tired and quaintly stupid it no longer offends.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    It Stains the Sands Red
    What could have been a wordless slog is inventive and even buoyant, as Molly crosses the baked Nevada landscape. And then, like a dog turd lurking in the middle of a jelly doughnut, a needless, brutal rape scene poisons the whole experience.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    Dead Awake
    Under the direction of Phillip Guzman, the whole affair plods along in by-the-numbers fashion, and the characters are all types, displaying little evidence of interior lives.
    • 15 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    Eloise
    Mysteries of the characters' pasts are revealed, but Dushku and Crawford are so bland that their secrets barely registered to begin with.
    • 11 Metascore
    • 10 Rob Staeger
    The Final Project
    Slipshod in every way, The Final Project can't even be bothered to show the important stuff.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 10 Rob Staeger
    The Pack
    Ultimately, these feral pooches pose no danger that couldn't be solved by staying inside, boarding the windows, and barricading the doors. It's not a bad approach to the film itself.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    JeruZalem
    Not much substance is buried beneath the irritating style.
    • 33 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    Amnesiac
    The plot develops confidently (if unsurprisingly), abetted by coincidence and shoddy police work, but it's the tone that grates.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    The Vatican Tapes
    At no point does this film strive to be more than a second-rate version of what it is: a halfhearted attempt to make some scratch while pretending the devil exists. Some trick.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Rob Staeger
    Laugh Killer Laugh
    Conversations meander and fizzle; characters repeat themselves, speaking in banalities and clichés.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 0 Rob Staeger
    Muck
    Muck pairs a repellent concept with amateurish dialogue, acting, editing, lighting, and pacing.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    The Aviation Cocktail
    The scenery looks just fine, however; it's the performances and dialogue that wobble and creak.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    Catch Hell
    Catch Hell suffers from both a drowsy start and a dragging ending.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 20 Rob Staeger
    Come Back to Me
    The film's clumsy script elicits groans, but it's the plot that infuriates.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1
    This sequel comes off as both sillier and crueler than the original, mixing sight gags and labored puns with a vicious assault on a sex-ed teacher, and, well, "duck rape."
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    Contracted
    There's no payoff to the paranoia.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    Remington and the Curse of the Zombadings
    The comedy preaches tolerance... But using hate crimes—even cartoonified ones—as a source of humor is troubling, and the mincing stereotypes on display bring to mind a little kid pointing and shouting, "Homo! Homo!"
    • 21 Metascore
    • 20 Rob Staeger
    Ghost Team One
    Thanks to the shakiest of shaky-cams, you don't know whether to wince or lose your lunch.
    • 12 Metascore
    • 0 Rob Staeger
    Nothing Left to Fear
    Any sensible person would gun it right out of the theater.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 30 Rob Staeger
    The Frozen Ground
    The climactic interrogation wraps up neatly and just in time, much more like a story "based on actual events" than the events themselves.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 20 Rob Staeger
    Abandoned Mine
    Haunted houses come in many shapes and sizes, and the title location in Abandoned Mine is the only fresh coat of paint this one gets.

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