Peter Hartlaub

Assuming you can appreciate the high level of gore and assorted sadistic weirdness, the action is satisfying.

Throwing your $10.25 down a storm drain is a better idea; at least that way you won't feel the added self-loathing of wasting more than an hour and a half of your life watching Eva Mendes in the worst acting job of her career.

Seriously lacks both romance and comedy.

Lots of people will leave screenings of this movie in disgust -- and laughter is the last thing they will hear on the way out.

A lot more enjoyable if you can leave your cognitive skills at the door.

Once you're done trying to conjugate the smurfs, there's a better movie than anyone could have possibly expected, thanks in large part to an honest effort by Harris in a thankless role.

The update is a different kind of failure, too much endless and not enough love.

Crossover has one redeeming quality: a heart that's in the right place. It's a bad movie with a good message -- but does anyone really want to pay $10 for an ABC After School Special version of "He Got Game"?

Daddy’s Home 2 is an excessively negative, strained and predictable comedy.

Through a stellar effort by Jennifer Garner and some well-executed revenge sequences, Peppermint just feels good to watch.

Zellweger takes an otherwise passable mainstream comedy and all but ruins it with her lack of effort.

The movie plays more like a WB network teen drama than something audiences should be expected to pay to see.

An enjoyable movie not because of any special gifts by the filmmakers or emotional resonance in the script. It was more like destiny. Once someone jotted down the concept on a cocktail napkin and hired B-Boys who could actually dance, the movie pretty much had to turn out OK.

“Avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness,” Hector writes in his book. But avoiding this movie might be a good start.

Has maybe a half-dozen moderately frightening scenes.

If only the projectionist could be persuaded to play the first 10 minutes over and over for two hours, this might be a satisfying movie. Unfortunately, the middle and the end feature a weak lead character, choppy fight choreography, humorless dialogue and computer-generated effects that look as if they came from the "Ghostbusters II" era.

Although it isn’t a top-flight horror movie — too slow for thrill-chasers, too ridiculously fictionalized for historians — the film serves as a proper 99-minute commercial for that San Jose tourist spot.

Any good will built up during the decent first half hour is quickly vaporized.

Unfortunately, it’s not much of a movie. The best thing “Happytime” has going for it is shock value, and that wears away after about 10 minutes. It doesn’t have an interesting story, and the jokes fall flat.

Even the element of surprise isn't enough to save this film, which has too many slow parts and features an ending that's extremely tepid by 21st century horror movie standards.

A bunch of gags, most of which you've seen in the trailer, strung together by any means necessary.

Zoom is a C-list production in every possible way, from the actors and the special effects to the music and the script. Even the product placement is completely third rate.