Peter Hartlaub

Mostly it serves as a comprehensive manual of bad places to hide from a masked killer.

A welcome throwback to family-friendly PG moviemaking.

The film tries to split the difference between thoughtful science fiction and action-driven horror, and blows the chance to truly succeed at either. Morgan is an enjoyable enough experience in the moment, but it never quite coalesces.

If you're no longer old enough to carry a Hannah Montana lunch box, this movie will feel like punishment.

If you can lighten up for an hour and a half, the film delivers one good laugh after another.

Best of all, the laughs often arrive in small moments, not in the obvious ones.

It's difficult to ignore the fact that they've created a romantic comedy that has almost no romance and even less comedy.

This film is too scary for very young children, while older fans are likely to focus on the film not faring well in comparison to the elder Miyazaki's recent work.

Enjoy the film for its witty dialogue and fun performances, but know that there isn't a single good scare. An episode of "Murder, She Wrote" has more thrills.

The film is a plodding 2 ½ hours long, with an abundance of livestock gore, endless dental trauma and a violent sex scene.

Filmgoers looking for copious amounts of mindless violence won't be disappointed.

The humor is lowbrow, but the screenwriters and performers have a sense of pride that makes them strive for stupid jokes that haven't been done before.

A decent-looking and harmless computer animated film that is notable mostly because it doesn't appear to contain a single original idea.

It's a kids' movie from a better time, with a few small concessions to modern audiences.

Disappointingly mediocre.

This time, it seems as if there’s a little less magic in the woods.

A well-intentioned horror film that is weighted down by stellar cast members who for the most part act as if they don't want to be there.

A thoroughly enjoyable three-or four-gimmick comedy.

The makers of We Are Your Friends got halfway there, and then lost the beat.

The movie's shockingly tasteless setup is also its secret weapon. Despite many scenes in The Ringer that could individually be viewed as politically incorrect, audiences will be laughing with the athletes most of the time.

This movie could really use an Avon Barksdale, but even actor Wood Harris, who played drug kingpin Barksdale in "The Wire," seems a bit lost.

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For is still a visual buffet, but adding 102 more minutes of double crosses, slow torture and hookers with hearts of gold just exposes the tediousness of the exercise.

Basically torture porn.

To enjoy it you almost have to be stoned on marijuana.

It's a homemade protein-and-steroids smoothie of a plot, combining elements of gore, self-parody, 1990s nostalgia overload and an attempt to say something -- while actually saying absolutely nothing -- about the American dream.

Cuesta’s direction is all blunt objects, like a doctor performing surgery with a plastic fork from Burger King. But he shines in the more testosterone-charged scenes, including the opening terrorist attack with its tracking shots above and below water.

The makers of Into the Blue know what the audience wants. And they deliver a little bit more.

A film so self-centered that even the director's most dedicated stalkers might find it a bit too narcissistic.

Despite a decent cast of mostly British voice actors and better-than-average computer animation, the movie seems rushed at 76 minutes and is only marginally funny.

Bornedal invests so much time in the characters - Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Kyra Sedgwick play the split parents of the girls - that there are times you will forget this is a horror movie. It's Kramer vs. Kramer vs. Lucifer.

A throwback to all those guilty pleasure action movies.

The high school comedy/drama morphs into a slasher movie, then morphs into a time-traveling/body-switching/world's-about-to-end science fiction story. Everyone on the set must have been chugging Mountain Dew between takes. I suspect that the editor was hooked up to an IV of the beverage.

It isn't smart or even very scary.

There are a few laughs and some touching moments, but nothing you couldn't get by watching episodes of "Good Times" and "Little House on the Prairie" back to back.

Belongs in a less ambitious category of sequels, alongside the creatively lacking “Alvin and the Chipmunks” and “Ice Age” movies.

By the time the sex actually starts, any sense of tension or anticipation is gone. It's the rare orgy that feels like an anticlimax.

Nowhere near the worst film of 2013, but it is definitely the most exhausting.

This isn’t close to being a great movie. But if you don’t overthink it, there is some fun to be had in the grisly consequences.

Perhaps worst of all, the movie is painfully long.

The movie is not as good as his recent low-budget effort, "Diary of the Dead," but there are enough moments of satire and coolness - two Romero hallmarks - to merit recommendation.

Rough around the edges, but once you get used to the laconic pace, the plot grooves along nicely.

The remake is a solidly crafted movie with a lot of good scares, but it also raises the question: Why even bother with an update?

Just funny enough.

It's a well-meaning but ultimately feeble and misguided attempt to say something profound about the aftereffects of the 2001 attacks on New York.

Poorly written, contains too much hero worship and profiles too many events - including one that combines the high jump with motorcycles. But the documentary generates a remarkable amount of goodwill with its stunning visuals, which look breathtaking in 3-D.

A ridiculous teen horror movie that piles on more than enough dry humor and freshly moistened gore to satisfy its lowbrow audience.

The movie is occasionally clever, but still inferior to last year's "Twilight" film, mostly because the story is so muddled.

Won't make anyone forget "The Shining," but it's a nice throwback to the days when scary movies featured pretty good actors, a plot that holds together and a couple of creepy-looking ghost kids.

An ill-advised and severely wussified remake.

The Romantics can be charming, and Holmes tackles her meatiest role since the superb "Pieces of April." But the script fails to establish the likability of any of the main characters, which dulls the sense of urgency during the dramatic moments.

A Dog’s Purpose is peril porn; the animal grows old or faces tragedy and expires over and over, reincarnating into a new dog with the same brain.

Kind of a bore.

The biggest strength of the movie is the chemistry between Cumming and Isaac Leyva, a first-time feature film actor with Down syndrome, who does as much to make these scenes work as the experienced actors he's sharing scenes with.

If Stanley Kubrick filmed an orgy like the one in this film, "Eyes Wide Shut" might have been halfway tolerable.

Too many moments elicit a polite half chuckle, when the screenwriters are trying for uproarious laughter. But it benefits from an excellent cast, who seem to be all in. And whenever there’s a stretch of extended mediocrity, it’s almost always saved by an unexpected moment of politically incorrect inspiration.

Unpolished but entertaining.

Transcendence looks and sounds like a Christopher Nolan film that got attacked by malware.

The core fan base of this English sword battle drama will pay for the boundary-pushing blood and gore. Why bore them with things like plot and context and production values?

The new version is a weak facsimile of an already mediocre film.

It's a stoner movie all the way, with much deep thought but little active conflict.

A movie for people who value heart and earnestness over technical filmmaking skill, and consider unpredictable plot turns a betrayal.

Nowhere near as bad as "Coneheads," but still isn't worth your time.

The remake of The Last House on the Left breaks the template, taking the 1972 original into an interesting new direction, with bold camera angles, good actors and a script that heaps on just as much character development as carnage.

If there’s a casualty in the sequel it’s Bell, who may be the funniest of the young actresses, but has the most limiting character, forced to repeatedly work a single my-mom-is-a-stalker joke.

An often amusing but also an aimless and forgettable animated comedy that is noteworthy mostly for its random musical numbers and surprising amounts of violence.

While it's filled with quality actors, this James Bond tale for tweens feels like something you should be getting for free on television.

If you see only one bad movie this year, definitely make it Knowing. The first major disappointment from director Alex Proyas is a disaster movie, a horror picture, a "Da Vinci Code"-style thriller and an end-of-days religious film all at once.

As much as Machete Kills is a reunion and continued revival, it also represents a sort of gentrification of the exploitation genre. It's probably time to move on and let a new generation of kids take a crack at making bad films.

This film is even better if you come in with no spoilers and low expectations.

There are flaws, but also some fun surprises. Much closer to Hitchcock than "Hostel," this is what can happen when a pile of trash falls into the hands of a talented and resourceful director (James DeMonaco).

First, and perhaps most important, it should be disclosed that my 4-year-old laughed pretty much nonstop throughout Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel. This was his "Citizen Kane."

The second half of the film is much funnier and warmer than the first, but the movie is still difficult to recommend.

More in the tone of the big screen "Friday Night Lights" than "Rudy" or "The Blind Side," it succeeds as mainstream entertainment without relying on a conventional storybook framework.

A film that looks way more fun to make than it is to watch. There’s a stubbornness to the comedic approach, mostly in its unwillingness to age since the first “Super Troopers.”

In style and tone, Igor seems more like a short from the adult-oriented "Spike & Mike's Festival of Animation."

It's surprising how dated some of the humor is.

Watching The Goldfinch is like reading a novel where someone ripped out every third page from front to back. You can tell there’s a good story, with compelling characters, and maybe a strong mystery. But the connective tissue is missing to the point of constant distraction.

At best, it will be remembered as "that exorcism movie with Eric Bana." More likely, "that exorcism movie where everyone has a bad New York accent."

About five times as funny as "Scary Movie 3."

Smurfs: The Lost Village has the look of a film that was rushed, and made on a tight budget. At best, it’s an adequate cinematic babysitter.

If Insidious 2 exists solely because Insidious 1 made a ton of money, then at least credit Wan for making quality control a priority.

There are isolated moments of humor, and even charm. The visual effects are at times outstanding. But these positives are overwhelmed by the uninspired whole.

And then there’s the real problem with Pitch Perfect 3: The best thing about the first movie — the singing — feels like an afterthought.

Basically, this is a really good movie until the last part, where director and co-writer Darren Lynn Bousman ruins so much so fast that you'll wonder if his actions are deliberate -- or if the studio interfered.

How can this movie not be fun?

Some people clearly had a good time making this film. Whether you have a good time watching it depends almost entirely on your Pony love walking in.

There are plenty of bad films to get riled up about in the summer. Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters isn't one of them. This is harmless tween-centric fun.

Much of the action onscreen doesn't ring true. Seasoned independent film director Henry Jaglom doesn't just explore the subject - he smothers the audience with it.

A movie that features a cartoon rodent eating his brother's feces, and do you really need to know more about this update of Ross Bagdasarian's iconic musical creation?

The action sequences are just as ridiculous as the romance parts, but at least James seems comfortable with the pratfalls and gross-out scenarios.

Besson is a pro when it comes to action movies, but this part live, part animation effort is a mess, highlighted by creepy animation, derivative plot points and a child star who speaks way too fast.

The filmmakers offer very few clues, just more aqua filters and low-contrast visuals. And with each new jarring edit, the viewer cares less and less, until the 100 minutes seem to stretch on forever.

The “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” series has been, at its core, “Alvin and the Chipmunks” without the rodents.

Airplane buffs are going to have a particularly good time; each of the planes seems to have an obscure real-life counterpart. And pop-culture junkies will appreciate a few sly nods as well.

Has a solid story, which keeps things interesting during the quiet moments when nobody is getting kicked in the head.

Eragon may not be a big Oscar contender, but in a movie season filled with blood diamonds, fascist soldiers and Idi Amin, it provides a much-needed afternoon of PG-rated family-friendly adventure.

This is the type of movie that you should be getting for free on television.

Often frustrating and at times incomprehensible, the Bourne/Bond clone keeps the pulse racing but ultimately fails to satisfy.