Pete Vonder Haar

Bound to Vengeance strains credibility (seriously, she never calls the cops?) and swerves dangerously close to exploitation often enough that its semi-clever premise can't keep it on course.

The depressingly predictable script—and tendency of everyone involved to jump to ridiculous conclusions—suggests a combination of Noises Off at best, and at worst, Three's Company.

The movie wastes the talents of its two leads by refusing to take any risks with the material, marching in lockstep to every genre cliché.

Vlahakis's tale should be compelling, but a weak script and mostly dull performances (one exception: Billy Zane . . . I know!) make A Green Story more monotonous than mythic.

Dark Water isn't a bad horror movie, simply because it isn’t horror at all: a full hour passes before anything remotely scary occurs, and all the suspenseful scenes take place in the final ten minutes (and are all fully shown in the trailer). What's left is tedium and a seemingly endless build-up to nothing much at all, making it a bad movie. Period.

Lowell hews so close to the reunion-film formula he ends up stifling anything new that may otherwise have resulted.

Even understanding the audience for which Kicking & Screaming is aiming, it's hard not to notice the flaws.

An almost constant misfire. From its paper-thin plot to the utterly flat script, virtually nothing works.

The only mildly interesting bit of casting comes from bringing Cartwright back (as one of Bennell’s patients).

Veers back and forth between indigestibly syrupy romance and vulgar "ethnic" comedy, with healthy doses of Christian proselytizing thrown in for good measure.

Lady is more of an ensemble picture, and truly the Cove is the most ethnically diverse and community-minded apartment complex in the continental United States.

Not many actors could do justice to the vanilla story presented by Grogan and screenwriters Scott Frank and Don Roos, but Wilson and Aniston – two of the blandest, most uninteresting actors working today – are just the actors to pull it off.

Criminal negligence of Dolph is far from Black Water’s only sin — there’s also the sluggish pacing, murky musical score, and somnambulant lead — but it might be its most egregious.

The same problems that plagued the original are on display here. Most notably, the lack of any coherent plot. Lots of creepy kids jump out at us, but these scenes are never satisfactorily meshed into the story itself.

To paraphrase the play's most famous song: how do you measure the lien against your soul when you're forced to sit through something as forcibly maudlin as Rent? I dunno, but 525,600 minutes is about how long this movie felt at times.

One small step for bad filmmaking and one giant leap for the increasing insignificance of the former Michael Corleone.

There was a movie called “My Bodyguard” about the new kid in high school who hires the sullen loner to protect him from a bully. That was good. Drillbit Taylor is shit but, hey, I’m in Judd Apatow’s Hollywood.

It tries to toe the line between romantic comedy and vulgar pseudo-satire and fails at both.

The end result is stale, clumsy, and about as compelling as an average episode of "As the World Turns."

A typical end-of-the-year dump film, in that there's almost no reason to see it.

Seriously, it's a bad sign for your "kids movie" when the kids in question are asking their parents, "When is something going to happen?"

If What Happens in Vegas... serves any purpose, it's to make me consider spending my gambling money in Reno or on a riverboat instead.

Yoga Hosers is lazy, unfunny, and self-indulgent.

Hey, Crave, the jerk store called, and they're running out of you.

Veers between flaccid slapstick and mean-spirited vulgarity.

Clearly, Gomorrah is supposed to represent the best of today’s European cinema...and if this is the best, I would hate to imagine the worst! Gomorrah is a boring mess focusing on how the mob in today’s Naples has its tentacles stretched far and wide

The recreational vehicle has a long and storied tradition in American cinema, from "Damnation Alley" to "Lost in America" to "Stripes." Sadly, RV shares little of its namesake' nationwide appeal.

It isn't as if any of the actors do an especially bad job or anything – Fox is capable enough as the lead, and Whitley and Wilson especially carry themselves quite well – but you can't help asking yourself, what's the point? Are there that many more broad topics in need of shallow examination by a Hollywood studio picture?