Nick de Semlyen

A microwave meal of a kid’s film, consisting of tired tropes and bland platitudes. This particular village should have stayed lost.

Those who predicted this wouldn’t hold a talking candle to the animated original will be pleasantly surprised. The tale may be as old as time, but it’s retold with freshness, brio and flair.

Essentially Parabolas & Prejudice, it isn’t the most nuanced piece of work out this month. But nuance be damned — an uplifting plea for equality, this is a story calibrated for maximum effect.

A crowd-pleasing oceanic musical with big tunes and beguiling characters, Moana is likely to thwack a big smile on your face. And did we mention the idiotic chicken?

A thinking person’s Bad Boys, this off-kilter indie crime comedy introduces two deliriously warped lawmen to the screen. Here’s to a Cuba-invading sequel.

It sounded like the dumbest movie of all time, but it’s actually smart, subversive and packed with famous voices saying wonderfully unspeakable things. In fact, it’s a banger.

An absolute blast, with a frenetic strike-rate and songs that will worm their way into your ears for days. Like Conner, this comedy’s for real.

It’s an energetic survival thriller and terrific showcase for Lively’s chops, but iffy plotting and a sloppy climax detract from the terror.

Considering it’s the debut of one of TV’s hottest double-acts, Keanu is a slight disappointment. But there’s plenty of funny stuff, and George Michael fans in particular should have faith, faith, faith.

There are moments that make the whole enterprise worthwhile, and introduces an intriguing new Batman. But it’s also cluttered and narratively wonky; a few jokes wouldn’t have gone amiss, either.

It has a strong, game cast but this is karaoke filmmaking, trading on nostalgia rather than breaking new territory. Affable but forgettable.

The premise promised Regency class and Romero shocks. The results, though, are only intermittently entertaining, and a better adaptation of Austen than a monster mash.

The Native American people have suffered any number of indignities over the years. But they haven't, until now, suffered Adam Sandler.

DiCaprio's raw performance helps elevate what could have been just another man-versus-nature drama.

The film strains in two different directions, half trying to stay true to its based-on-fact roots, half wanting to ditch all that and become a ridiculous farce.

Do the right thing — take a break from summer spectacle to check out this assured and eloquent indie.

Messy and unlikeable.

A disappointingly tame and unimaginative effort, which throws away much of what was best-loved about the original and fails to find worthy replacements.

Over-familiar and the first half's pace is sea-sluggish but with inspired touches.

Full-force performance form Ryan Reynolds but not as funny as it hopes it is.

This is maximum-gloss entertainment with its fair share of tricksy rug-pulls. But, like one of the neon-coloured cocktails Smith drinks in it, it’s more of an immediate rush than something you’ll remember in a year.

Overlong and underpopulated with gags that really land, there's still moments of mirth for devotees of the original.

A clear-eyed celebration of a giant of film writing. We’ll refrain from the thumb jokes, but consider this a hearty recommendation.

Some inspired grace notes elevate a thriller that's more De Palma than Hitchcock.

Some nice comic beats and a sinister Andy Garcia turn make this far more watchable that the fratty conceit might suggest.

Rare is the film that understands the pleasures of letting an enraged Ice Cube take out his wrath on an all-you-can-eat buffet. And which other blockbuster in 2014 would interrupt its climactic car chase to lob in a gag about Benny Hill?

With so much going on, and such a ferocious pace, several parts of the story feel undernourished... But what we do get here is largely fantastic.

Splashing around in the same mad puddle as Lynch but a good deal funnier, this tale of a man with many faces is an exhilarating, audacious, lunatic rocket-ride. Hop on board.