Michael Ordoña

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For 192 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 49% higher than the average critic
  • 5% same as the average critic
  • 46% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 7.4 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Michael Ordoña's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 58
Highest review score: 100 Ne Zha 2
Lowest review score: 0 Saw 3D
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 83 out of 192
  2. Negative: 22 out of 192
192 movie reviews
    • 71 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    At its best, “Erupcja” feels truthful, even insightful. At its worst, it’s an off-putting selfie of the chronically self-absorbed, like a big-screen “Girls.” It does offer an interesting perspective on its case of apparent synchronicity late in the film, but leaves plenty for viewers to ponder on their own.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 25 Michael Ordoña
    It’s billed as another horror comedy, but when tidbits of humor manifest, it feels forced. There are few notable moments.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Michael Ordoña
    Scream 7 is anything but cutting edge.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Die My Love is not plot-driven, with events that don’t necessarily follow one another in cause and effect. Rather, it’s a slow-burn psychological drama populated by imperfect people struggling with painful realities. Instead of a dramatic arc, it’s a dramatic decline.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Michael Ordoña
    Roofman hooks viewers with its compelling depiction of a person too smart for his own good. It’s funny and moving, however close to or far from the real events it may be.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    The narrative is hamstrung by cliché attempts to build McKay’s backstory, shamelessly changing key facts. McConaughey’s performance is just fine, as is Ferrera’s, but the personal stuff feels like a distraction.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Ultimately, “The Long Walk” is a heartfelt metaphorical drama about people bonding under duress. Instead of focusing on the darker side of human nature one might expect from the average dystopian film, it finds power in small acts of connection.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 100 Michael Ordoña
    Ne Zha II surprisingly contains a sincere-feeling theme of individuality, of resisting what society commands a person to be rather than embracing their nature.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 25 Michael Ordoña
    The movie doesn’t just suffer by comparison to “High and Low” (itself adapted from Evan Hunter’s novel “King’s Ransom”); taken by itself, its pace drags, its tone staggers and its ideas are muddled.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Michael Ordoña
    Opportunities for comedy are missed by miles. Davidson gets gonzo gags, Palmer is 007 with a heart, Murphy and Longoria try to exist in reality. That halfhearted miasma of genres results in tonal confusion. Murphy throws in what seem like ad libs to spice up a moribund script, but it’s not enough to add flavor to a bland stew.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 63 Michael Ordoña
    Despite traversing such a familiar track, “F1” delivers something made expressly for the big screen experience. What keeps it from being purely the kind of “theme park” Martin Scorsese demeaned in his criticism of Marvel movies is the Pitt of it all; fortunately for “F1,” it’s always Sonny on the human side.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Michael Ordoña
    All that said, this movie is likely review-proof. The franchise is doing just fine without critical approval. This one is less of a slog, but there is precious little interesting or new in Jurassic World Rebirth. It’ll likely earn a billion dollars anyway.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 75 Michael Ordoña
    Whereas “Weeks,” made without Boyle’s and Garland’s involvement, felt like a rehash with poorly motivated actions, “Years” is carefully thought out and would be vibrant filmmaking even without the previous material.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 25 Michael Ordoña
    The Unholy Trinity is a passable, 95-minute diversion, but an unremarkable one.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Michael Ordoña
    The fun and human “Thunderbolts*” is an encouraging sign for the MCU’s future.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 75 Michael Ordoña
    The convoluted plot will leave viewers with some unanswered questions, should they pull at its threads, but it’s a good bet they’ll likely leave well enough alone after being so entertained.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 75 Michael Ordoña
    The result is a genre entry that avoids the missteps of so many spy movies — the superhero protagonist, the mission not being compelling, relying too much on action sequences and predictable betrayals. Instead, it invests in its world, its relationships, and its premise.
    • 91 Metascore
    • 75 Michael Ordoña
    Nickel Boys offers a different way to understand horrors based on true events not that far in the past by plunging viewers into its characters’ humanity.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Kraven the Hunter will sate fans with Taylor-Johnson’s action bona fides and its fine cast. But those same fans may be less-than enthusiastic about the idea that, with no Spider-Man and no franchise to move forward, this one essentially has nowhere to go.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 75 Michael Ordoña
    Guadagnino’s filmmaking has never been more vivid.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Ordoña
    It’s so detached from the supervillain narrative that it’s almost meta. But as the musical numbers become lengthy detours rather than lending further insight into Arthur, the sequel doesn’t sing as a character study. And it sure ain’t a thriller.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 90 Michael Ordoña
    The Wild Robot has a lot to say and its own way of saying it. It’s a big-studio animated feature that has its own look, feel and identity, wrapped around an unusual story with ample humor and plenty of emotion — all of it earned. The movie’s vocal performances, especially from leads Lupita Nyong’o and Pedro Pascal, are excellent. It’s lovely on the outside and on the inside.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 75 Michael Ordoña
    Yes, it’s a familiar formula, though instead of buddy cops, it’s buddy cleaners. What these “Wolfs” do is shades darker than the gentleman thievery of the “Ocean’s” larks, and the character comedy comes from a deeper place.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Don’t expect surprises or something to ideologically critique. This is kooky carnage. You came for Dave Bautista stomping a motorcycle into submission, and damn it, that’s what you’re gonna get.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom may not be consequential in the long run, but it’s a mostly diverting, upbeat closer, one that could hint at the tone of things to come.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    Migration isn’t exactly unique, but it’s different enough. And in today’s factory filmmaking, that’s almost as unlikely as milking a duck.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    You want to see Eddie Murphy surrounded by some Christmas-themed silliness. And on that score, it’s fine enough, but destined for regifting.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    “Dicks” can’t maintain that level of performative thrust all the way through; it sags a bit in the middle, as one might expect from making the considerable jump from the stage and through the hoops of major revisions. But the film bounces back toward its back nine.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    The easy chemistry of Peña as the humble and brilliant aspirant and Salazar as the supportive, put-upon wife with dreams of her own makes their scenes together highlights. Salazar brings life and charm to a role that, in another biopic, could have been pretty thankless.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    Its narrative flaws (and there are serious ones) are more or less overcome by its compelling protagonist and the loving marital relationship at its center.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Ordoña
    It may have benefited from a quickened pace, or touches of humor, or heightened stakes because — at least in this film — watching Nazis get theirs is a vein of amusement that runs dry.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Ordoña
    The filmmaking lacks the style to pull off its willful blending of fact and fantasy. At least there are the songs to enjoy.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    The movie isn’t unusual-looking or surprising, but my daughter assures me fans of the show will not want to miss it. The rest of us will be immersed in warm confusion as things we just don’t understand unspool before us.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    There are fun characters and dazzling action sequences. The filmmakers’ approach to rethinking legendary figures and placing them in a kind of timeless, weirdly teched-out reality is intriguing.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    Ultimately, it’s about the bonds of sisterhood and how those who know you best and love you most can help you heal, or at least start you on that path. Its vagueness serves almost as a Rorschach test. How effective it is as a drama may depend on your perspective.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    The cast is game. Unfortunately, what should be gut punches feel like glancing blows.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    No moment on this anything-but-love boat has the impact of, say, the seasickness sequence of “Triangle of Sadness,” but slaughter stans will get their butchery bellyfuls.
    • 78 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    In the hands of director and co-writer Santiago Mitre, co-writer Mariano Llinás and lead actor Ricardo Darín (“The Secret in Their Eyes”), Strassera is the slow-but-steady one in the story of “The Tortoise and The Junta: The Little Prosecutor Who Maybe Couldn’t, But Wouldn’t Quit.” He’s what one might call “endearingly competent.” The characterization they achieve is something rare and commendable: a lead who is interestingly uninteresting.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Brown-Easley’s story is interesting and the film’s acting is committed. Unfortunately, as a cinematic experience, Breaking fails to compel.
    • 70 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    The performances are uniformly solid, especially by the two leads, and the generally low-key cinematic style keeps us in the pocket of the story.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 90 Michael Ordoña
    Day Shift is a damned delight. One would be tempted to call it the best horror comedy of 2022 so far, but it mixes so many genres it’s more like 2022’s best horror-buddy-cop-cartel-drama-bounty-hunter-martial-arts-action comedy (so far).
    • 74 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    While the film’s dialogue and characters aren’t exactly unique, its visuals are remarkable and it’s actually about something. It’s a ripping yarn, a gorgeously rendered kaiju adventure on the high seas that uses fantasy to ask pertinent questions about the stories we believe, and who benefits from that belief.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    The Princess is an unabashedly feminist action-adventure in which the central character rises from her dormancy to slash the patriarchy. It couldn’t be more timely, and it’s a good time too.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    An intelligent, sometimes moving, sometimes funny sci-fi examination of emotional autonomy amid futuristic pharmaceuticals, until an awkward shift into thriller territory dilutes its purity.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    Jerry & Marge Go Large is a charmer. It’s a low-key, fact-based caper movie that overcomes some broad comedy leanings to settle into the sweet stuff in the soft center. It’s bolstered by a funny script and dependably sharp performances by Bryan Cranston and Annette Bening.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    Thanks to the synthesis of adaptation, direction and ensemble — especially its leads — The Valet rewardingly finds its own way.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Michael Ordoña
    It means to be about a struggling family saved by a brave dog. What most viewers will agree on is that it needed more dog.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Michael Ordoña
    While it does put an interesting spin on the phrase from which it takes its title, the family drama with crime elements The Devil You Know stumbles.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Ordoña
    The new Cheaper by the Dozen feels less like a feature than a lengthy sitcom pilot. It’s an assembly-line product scrubbed clean of personality.
    • 71 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    The environments are impressively painted. The film’s framing, light, shadow and color are expressive. The creatures are creatively designed and occasionally just bizarre enough to be funny.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    Despite I Want You Back’s heaping helping of the usual rom-com balderdash, both Slate and Day provide enough underdog charisma to make us root for their characters, if not their wrongheaded quests.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Ordoña
    The film is sanitized to the point of sterility.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    The picture’s too rosy to feel real. Its elements of posthumous, loving advice and inevitable tragedy make for good bones. But this portrait is too clean, too unquestioning, too accepting, to get to the marrow.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    While it gets mileage out of its two fine lead performances and the story has deep emotional roots for the filmmakers, its journey fails to capture the imagination.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 90 Michael Ordoña
    In Swan Song, [Ali] lives in both drama and sci-fi worlds as he crafts a man coming to grips simultaneously with his own mortality and the dawn of something new for humanity.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Mosley feels well-intentioned, though its lessons are unclear, especially considering its ending. And more humor and more fully developed characters could have enlivened the familiar hero’s journey template.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    You don’t have to be into football to appreciate the high-stakes struggle in National Champions.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Encounter has its moments, but it suffers from multiple storytelling approaches that don’t mesh.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    It’s a surprise contender for Best Christmas Movie of the last several years.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Fascinatingly muddled.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    The superb fight choreography and committed execution by the two women in the ring (real-life UFC champ Valentina Shevchenko is convincing as Jackie’s opponent), informed by Berry’s skill as an actor conveying Jackie’s desperation, make the final fight thrilling and cringe-inducing — in a good way.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Ron’s Gone Wrong dots its primer on friendship with chase scenes and warnings about Big Tech, with only mixed success.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Odom, surely one of the busiest actors working today, gives a committed performance but lacks chemistry with either of his onscreen wives. A sense of lightness, of fun, of the alchemy between two people is missing, though it would seem crucial to drive the story.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    Hard Luck Love Song is a happy but gritty marriage of material, filmmaker and star. Much is asked of Dorman, and he delivers all.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    Copshop is an enjoyable, slow-burn action movie featuring a smart script, sharp direction, strong cast — and the emergence of a possible star.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    If you can hang with the slow gestation of the first hour or so of Malignant, the final third may grow on you.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    Kate has its charms.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    You’ll be pleased to discover the entertaining remake has its charms; it actually is all that, for the most part.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Ordoña
    To very young kids who like cartoon dogs driving shiny vehicles, PAW Patrol: The Movie may be awesome. To grown-ups, it may be an aggressively under-written, 88-minute toy commercial.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 90 Michael Ordoña
    It’s a ‘70s paranoia movie in the best sense. And this is no hackneyed tribute; it’s complex, murky, propulsive.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    Vivo takes off with a cute kinkajou, some good music and some interesting visuals, but ultimately doesn’t stick the landing.
    • 48 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    The plot chugs along with no surprises, but that’s beside the point. While it’s not exactly a laugh riot, the film’s humor tends to land.
    • 60 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    “All the Streets” feels niche to a fault.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    What audiences are likely to come away with most of all is a pondering over how these many sides could coexist in the same person, perhaps wondering what they think of him — and finding it difficult to arrive at an answer.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins ends up having enough good-time action sequences to make it worth the popcorn money.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    How It Ends works both as an alternative to the usual, race-against-time or humanity-sucks apocalypse dramas, and as a personal exploration of settling affairs — and it’s a comedy.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    Consider the sequel curse broken: Fear Street Part 3: 1666 satisfyingly wraps up Netflix’s R.L. Stine movie trilogy with deepened themes, more fully realized characters and enjoyable twists that lend dimension to the arching story.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    Fear Street Part 2: 1978 is no classic, but it’s a clear improvement on “1994,” with more tension and excitement (and generous gore).
    • tbd Metascore
    • 40 Michael Ordoña
    Running Against the Wind is purportedly based on real events, and it’s sloppy and sort of random enough to be true.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    It’s more of the same, for better or worse, but likely with enough bells and whistles — especially those new characters — to please younger fans.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    The dialogue can be clunky and easy to guess in advance, and there’s an unfortunate reliance on jump scares. The thing to remember is this is all part of a larger story, and without spoiling anything, that story does get significantly more interesting.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    The film lacks slam-bang, signature action sequences that would make it more memorable.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Fathom presumably gets its name from both the watery depths and the attempt to understand these mysterious aquatic mammals, but it doesn’t delve deeply enough into either the science or the scientists.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    Where the documentary succeeds most plangently is in its fan testimonials of the album’s impact and Blige’s emotional recollections of the songs’ roots.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    Sisters on Track is a lovely, immersive look into the lives of three Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn, girls.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 100 Michael Ordoña
    Against the Current is a gem. It’s gorgeous in many ways.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Ordoña
    With its human relations a bit dicey, the movie lives or dies by the cuteness of its CG animals. Fortunately, it probably will never stop hitting the cute button inside us simply to see rabbits scurry-hopping with earnest little faces. The cinematic technology’s growth is remarkable.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    If the end-of-the-world genre seems downright somnambulant lately, Awake is jolting proof a fiendishly clever twist can shake it from its doldrums.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 30 Michael Ordoña
    There is an enjoyable fight scene and the production design and cinematography of “Funhouse” do what they can with limited resources. One wishes the script hadn’t been the most limited resource of all.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 50 Michael Ordoña
    Bana is, as always, a very watchable screen presence; the film is not bad. But there’s a spark missing that could make the story burn, and the film’s abrupt ending will leave viewers high and “Dry.”
    • 54 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    Profile works on several levels — as a cinematic feat, dual character study, gripping thriller … and as a cautionary tale.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 40 Michael Ordoña
    The scenery’s gorgeous, Redgrave and Bergin are pros, Tom Everett Scott is fittingly gross as the selfish stage dad and Goodacre has some charm. But the film forgot to graft a personality onto its protagonist and seems so determined to be PG-clean that sparks between the leads are … hard to “find.”
    • 67 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    Paper Tigers may not be a deep comment on aging or friendship, but it has enough humor and action to make it worth a few rounds.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    The story moves crisply, though with all the twists and the lack of introductions to the main players, it’s not easy to follow at first. The fights and chases are handled expertly (the “action director” is Jung Doo); they’re dynamic but believable and deliver emotional impact.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    The distinctive visual style is notably fluid and detailed. The layout artists craft lovely painted environments with rich textures. The action is enjoyable and character-specific. As one would expect from an anime this popular, the imagination is off the charts.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 80 Michael Ordoña
    In any genre, a distinct filmmaking voice and clever avoidance of cliches earns a closer look; perhaps even more so in the realm of sci-fi/horror. And no spoilers, but where Come True lands is extremely satisfying.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 70 Michael Ordoña
    Boss Level takes a well-worn gag and injects energy, showing the genre is still a game worth playing.
    • Los Angeles Times
    • 45 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    Pixie isn’t exactly magical, but amusing enough whenever Cooke’s character casts her spell
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Michael Ordoña
    We get slivers of moments and feelings described rather than experienced.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 60 Michael Ordoña
    A First Farewell is a gorgeously shot window into a world most of us hadn’t looked through before, but it’s worth examining the meanings of its images.

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