John Patterson

A waste of the filmmakers' time and ours, and offering further evidence that, outside the art house, much British cinema has its head jammed tightly up its own arse.

It's outclassed by the memory of just about every prizefighting flick you've ever seen.

Lurches from one set-piece stomach-lurcher to the next with nary a nod to narrative coherence.

Gormless, gutless little home movie.

Mutates halfway through into a ham-fisted action movie that squanders the good will, and insults the intelligence, of its audience.

All Serving Sara can offer is Perry with his arm shoulder-deep up a longhorn steer's backside, a wasted supporting cast that includes Vincent Pastore and Cedric the Entertainer, and a huge, comedian-shaped hole where Hurley's performance should be.

Grotesque and ugly.

Just avoid this ghastly, insulting farrago at all costs.

Writer-director David DeFalco's ugly, pointless and dishonest remake of Craven's remake.

Miraculously seems a great deal longer (this is not a good thing) as it careens from shit joke to corpse joke to ass joke to dog-turd joke and back.

One of those puppy-love movies that make you feel like you're slowly drowning.