Gene Siskel

This is what happens when someone doesn't make a sequel to a hit movie fast enough. Someone else, with a lot of brass, makes a ripoff that is even less satisfying. [19 Aug 1988, p.A]

What a disappointment Weird Science is! A wonderful writer-director has taken a cute idea about two teenage Dr. Frankensteins creating a perfect woman by computer and turned it into a vulgar, mindless, special-effects-cluttered wasteland.

The jokes seem lame and the rivalry fraudulent, as the two boys play with their big guns.

The murderous Jason is back in the latest chapter of the most offensive series in film history, unless Burt Reynolds makes three more ``Smokey and the Bandit`` pictures real quick.

Shelley Long stars in a limp copy of "Private Benjamin" with a location switch from the Army to the Girl Scouts. Long plays a Beverly Hills wife who decides to take over the local troop of spoiled brats. A number of tedious jokes about conspicuous consumption fall flat and Long is no Hawn when it comes to comedy. [24 March 1989, p.A]

A lame comedy about the quirky true story of the 1988 Jamaican bobsled team that competed in the Calgary Winter Olympics...The intelligence level of the comedy insults preteens. [1 Oct 1993, p.C2]

It's bankrupt in terms of imagination. All he (Romero) does is place his zombies in the basement of a missile silo and have a few crazed military types scream at the zombies and at each other. End of movie. [03 Sept 1985, p.5C]

What exactly is funny about "Basic Instinct" or "Fatal Attraction"? Other than sending up specific scenes-say, Sharon Stone's uncrossed legs from "Basic Instinct"-there is no humor to be mined. The "Airplane" films kidded the genre rather than just duplicating scenes; director Reiner is operating at the level of a high school parodist. [29 Oct 1993, p.C2]

[Chris Elliott]'s spoof of a young seaman's apprenticeship seems desperate as he piles special effects willy-nilly atop jibes at stupid old salts. [14 Jan 1994]

This is the third in a hyper-violent and rather stupid series of thrillers about an adult child killer--with knives for fingers--who is burnt to death but now has returned to haunt more teenagers in their sleep. The kids are all patients at a clinic where group therapy fails to stop their nightmares. What you get for your money are scenes with a severed head, the simultaneous injection of 10 hypodermic needles presumably filled with heroin and four long tongues that turn into arm and ankle straps for a sex scene. Whoopee! The film's only blessing? It just may be bad enough to kill off the series.

Al Pacino has become a self-involved film star, and he`s one of the stars I hate.

A ridiculous futuristic adventure film starring Emilio Estevez as a race-car driver who is captured by forces in the near future - 2009 to be exact - and used in a world-controlling power play. Mick Jagger co-stars, wearing a dyed mop of hair. An indecipherable plot isn't worth the effort. [24 Jan 1992, p.C]

A major disappointment. Michael J. Fox stars in his first bad film as a yuppie from Kansas bent on making it in the New York business world. What's so annoying about the film is that Fox, who has radiated intelligence with his other movies, comes across here as a selfish, smug, amoral glutton who wants to rise to the top of a corporation without regard to what the company does or how he does it. [08 May 1987, p.7F]

For years I've criticized Murphy for not working with the best directors or powerful female co-stars. But he does that here, and his movie is still a clunker. Relatives are listed in the credits; maybe he needs to stop trying to completely control the films he makes. Either that or it's time for another stand-up concert film. [27 Oct 1995, p.B]

A sincere but clumsy attempt to capture the pain of a man trying to cope with loss and divorce through the ages. [06 May 1994]

There is little suspense in the film; the identity of the killer is heavily foreshadowed early on with a baroque music cue and a couple of menacing glances. And the false endings, which have become standard in this genre ever since "Carrie," reach laughable proportions here, because, yes, there will be a sixth film in the series next year. Have a nice day. [25 March 1985, p.C5]

To call this picture "Hot Pursuit" is false advertising; "Lethargic Pursuit" would be more accurate. [22 May 1987, p.A]

The film's biggest continuing laugh is the very idea that Arnold Schwarzenegger, with his thick accent, could infiltrate the upper echelon of the Mafia. I could see him catering a German mob dinner, but a trusted ally? Never.

The story has no center; the duck is not likable, and the costly, overwrought, laser-filled special effects that conclude the movie are less impressive than a sparkler on a birthday cake.

This House ought to be condemned for its insulting use of the Vietnam War and children as props for its nonsensical violence tinged with pathetic attempts at humor. [4 March 1986, p.C4]

The most interesting story about this movie would be the amount of money Hawn and Sylbert got paid for ripping off ''Private Benjamin,'' and how they managed to lure the usually talented director Michael Ritchie (''The Candidate,'' ''Smile'') into joining their caper. Their story of wheeling and dealing would make a more exciting movie than ''Wildcats,'' which concludes with--you`ll never guess--a championship game between Goldie`s dirty two-dozen and the seemingly invincible crosstown rivals....Believe me: The tension will send you immediately to the candy counter.

For years now Wilder has been trying to imitate the success of his mentor, director Mel Brooks. But he has repeatedly failed. That's why the biggest mystery in "Haunted Honeymoon" is why anyone would still give Wilder money to make a picture.

This is going to be more of a consumer warning than a traditional film review, because Red Sonja is like a can of dog food covered by a label featuring a picture of a sirloin steak.

The Money Pit, a miserable ripoff of the old Cary Grant comedy Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House, has nothing to do with such nuances of the human experience. Instead, it is an action comedy that regularly throws its actors around and through pieces of plywood, into and out of windows.

The film is utterly lacking in the campy quality of the World Wrestling Federation telecasts.

So, as we watch this movie go through its predictable paces, we also watch two actors, one in character and one not. And that is an awful lot to ask an audience to suffer through just to see Russell deliver another dependable piece of work. [3 Feb 1986, p.C2]

What an enormous waste of talent and money is Labyrinth. [30 Jun 1986, p.3]

Short Circuit is an obvious WarGames ripoff in which a robot steals every scene from wooden performances by the always-too-eager-to-please Steve Guttenberg and the usually likable Ally Sheedy.