Has plenty of fast cars and revving engines. But unless you're a fan of that sort of thing, its stultifying plot and wooden acting is likely to make you drift - off to sleep.

Each twist and turn is so telegraphed and expected that the story feels wan and the comedy feeble.

What works in a quirky foreign film can look silly with expansive Hollywood treatment. Crowe is smart enough to know this, so it's baffling he chose Vanilla over richer cinematic tastes.

For a story that centers on intrigue in high places, the few even halfway-grabbing scenes come from the mild if unexplored sexual tension between co-Caine sleuthers Tilda Swinton and Jeremy Northam.

Though it's no fiasco -- there's nothing mythic about its disjointed story -- it is a failure.

Parents may be pleased, children will cheer. But it's too bad the movie turtles have had to sacrifice their snap, victims of a box-office shell game. [22 Mar 1991, p.4D]

Half a howler but not nearly funny enough.

Delayed a couple of years, shown to fans at conventions and retooled, Fanboys is an uneven and largely predictable adventure, but it has its moments.

Lively pulls off one of her best movie roles so far – ranking up there with her surprisingly delicious shark flick “The Shallows” – and is surrounded by plenty of visual spectacle, yet is waylaid by a narrative that lacks excitement. Even the twists seem painfully ordinary.

If She-Devil is (at best) ragged, it's also a must for Streep fans. [8 Dec 1989, p.1D]

It fumbles because neither of the characters are particularly likable.

These characters are interesting for their flaws and wounds, but the movie doesn't delve deeply into the sources of their pain. See this movie for its humor and talented cast and you won't be disappointed.

With Bonham Carter's been-there, done-that performance and a plot that spins out of control, we end up with a movie that you can't quite sink your teeth into.

Whereas last year's exemplary "Sexy Beast" seemed to revitalize the British gangster movie, this equally brutal outing merely sustains it -- though with occasional twists that do linger in the memory.

Mixed with the sleaze is the unexpected and occasionally inspired.

A good script is the most essential ingredient for a good movie. Hiring a comedian isn't enough.

Speaking of that middle-finger finale, there is one redeeming trait: At least it signals the end credits.

While teenage star Mckenna Grace infuses the aging property with a needed burst of youthful energy, co-writer/director Jason Reitman (son of original filmmaker Ivan Reitman) is more interested in looking backward with the sequel, leaning way too hard on old characters, story beats, plot points and zingers.

The film tries to be stylish and slick, but is mostly just nasty and blood-drenched. Piven, so funny in other film roles and on TV's "Entourage," overdoes it here, and extended scenes of his debauchery grow excessive and thuddingly dull.

There's nothing sleazier than sleaze that fails to titillate, and this drab blight on a hot cast is as sleazy as a preordained hit ever gets. [07 Apr 1993 Pg. 08.D]

Except for a brief episode in which singer Chris Isaak and Kiefer Sutherland make like an FBI Rocky and Bullwinkle, this is a morbidly joyless affair. You'll feel as drained as one of Cooper's mugs of joe watching homecoming queen Laura drown in a whirlpool of sex and drugs. [31 Aug 1992]

But once the updated story - now about an unwed mom who sacrifices all for her child rather than a divorcee who married above her class - starts clinging to the original's plot machinations, Stella turns into one helluva maudlin mess. [2 Feb 1990, p.4D]

Country Strong feels powerfully familiar.

Per usual, Johnson is the key cog of a movie built for his physical presence, but it's the relationship between Davis and George that fuels the plot, even when everything around them gets convoluted and haphazard.

Sadistic mess of a movie.

This boomer-coddling comic fantasy, in which a callous adult on the brink of 40 has a chance encounter with his pudgy, lisping 8-year-old self, is an iffier what-if.

By the time you've given up guessing whether S.W.A.T. wants to be a half-serious action pic or just affably jokey, its storytelling has turned so ludicrously melodramatic that it doesn't matter.

How to lose an audience in 10 minutes: Cobble together a predictable and forced romantic comedy that should have been funnier.