It’s almost reassuring that in today’s often sanitized, assembly-line mainstream moviemaking that a film can be as crude, as off-brand and as bad as The Happytime Murders. Almost.

As for Neeson, what can we say? He could keep doing this ’til he’s 80, but surely there’s something better out there.

Perhaps the biggest disappointment of Dolittle isn’t the incoherent story line, the suffocating CGI or the unfunny stable of celebrity-voiced creatures. It’s that Downey’s personality doesn’t come through at all, either a victim of the surrounding mess or a party to it.

It’s too bad because there could have been a more fun movie in here — Clarkson imbues it with a distinctly feminine and teenage energy that makes good use of its soundtrack. But it spins itself into a knot trying to justify a silly story instead.

It’s an incoherent mess, something that, back in the day, would be straight to DVD. Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 has an after-school special vibe with no real horror and no real awareness that it should.

Me Time somehow squanders a solid premise, a stacked cast and a seemingly unlimited budget. It didn’t need to be anything great in this movie comedy drought we seem to be in. But considering who was involved, it really should be better than it is.

But 2 1/2 hours? No way, not without a decent script and good acting. Miss Derek is supposed to be portraying Jane as a free-spirited and sensuous woman, but whenever she opens her mouth, she sounds like a spoiled child. [3 Aug 1981]

Bride Hard — which combines thrusting male strippers dressed as Vikings as well as deadly automatic weapon fire — isn’t funny or thrilling. It has the kind of lazy pacing you’d usually find on the Hallmark Channel and a level of acting not much better than porn.

The situation might have produced a funny, heartwarming movie, but not in the hands of director Bob Clark ("Porky's," "Rhinestone") and writers James Gregory Kingston and Denis and John Hamill. Every plot turn is predictable, the characters are either true-blue or rascals and the humor is labored. [18 Feb 1985]

This is a 135-minute film that demands a lot more depth. And, so, to co-opt a political phrase from Bill Clinton, whom Quaid also has played: It’s the script, stupid.

Nothing much in Life Itself feels like life itself. It is too polished, too winking, too big and too much to be all that relatable, even with a cast as appealing as this.

Doesn't deliver the chills it should, but leaves an uneasy feeling. [26 Oct 1990]

The special effects are terrific and the idea, based on a story by Charles Band and Kenneth J. Hall, is clever and could be downright scary. But the pacing is soooooooooooo slow you can fast-forward by five minutes and still be on the same scene and practically the same word. [30 Aug 1989]

As for the documentary about the man of the hour, do as the title suggests: Run away.