Many regular moviegoers will be appalled by its gleeful crudity and saddened by the spectacle of three icon stars mugging through a farce that's not that many notches above "Jackass: The Movie."

Pretentious mess of a movie.

As dreary an hour-and-a-half as you could ever want to spend at the movies.

Since the expensive new movie version of the popular video game, Tomb Raider, is very true to its origins, it's a colossal bore.

Weekend at Bernie's II stands as just about the best argument I've seen in a long time that the Motion Picture Association of America's rating system is a complete farce. [10 July 1993]

As a thriller, Next goes a certain distance on Cage's sad-sack charm and sense of humor, but it does nothing with its intriguing premise, and it's mostly just one more tedious and progressively dumb collection of Hollywood action clichés.

Levant turns up the slapstick, doubletakes, and epic fart jokes to a tortured extreme.

The movie is just this side of terrible. It misses all the charm and fun of the original. Allen's mugging is incorrigibly unfunny.

There are a number of funny and unexpected moments in the film, but they are ultimately swamped by the mean-spirited tone and increasingly over-the-top raunch and drug humor.

Surprisingly, "North" fails most miserably on the level of children's parable. It has no solid emotional core to which an audience can relate: It doesn't touch the heart or come close to communicating a moral. It's just silly and trite and a colossal waste of time. [22 Jul 1994]

Stiller and Black have the chemistry of fingernails-on-blackboard and the movie is disastrously unfunny.

Though the pop idol recently said that movies are his ultimate goal, the best thing about On the Line is its music.

It is so contrived and utterly stupid in every way that it surely must be the nadir of the genre.

Terrible in a terrible way: It's pretentious, incomprehensible and just numbingly dull.

So badly plotted and written that it rarely makes much sense, even with the elementary story line.

Funny for 15 minutes and then fades into mean-spirited cruelty and stupidity.

It doesn't have the imagination or daring to make a full turn to self-parody.

Universal Pictures has a lot of gall to pick up a movie as thoroughly awful as Empire and -- with a straight face and a $20 million or so ad campaign -- thrust it on the holiday movie market as if it were a significant piece of filmmaking.

If you're addicted to Billy Bob Thornton's slovenly charm, and thrill to the prospect of watching him talk endlessly about his bodily functions and penchant for anal sex with obese women, this is your movie. If not, it's like 90 minutes in hell.

While there are maybe two moments of genuinely clever humor, Storytelling is the work of a previously promising filmmaker who, having no new ideas, has morphed into a sniggering schoolboy intent upon being mean.

An awful, misanthropic, deadly unfunny and badly acted war-of-the-sexes travesty.

The sad truth is that it's dreadful, despite a top cast and strong production values. [02 Dec 1994]

It tries to be a sappy love story, an incredibly vile gross-out comedy and an envelope-pushing soft-core porno movie all at once. It ends up being an unappealing abomination.

An excruciatingly awful thriller.

A cinematic cat-astrophe.

There's a vicious, crude nerve that snakes through this sequel and it leaves no group unscarred -- but unfortunately, women and the handicapped take most of the thrusts.

An insufferably insipid comedy with a cruel subtext.

This week's excruciatingly dismal dating comedy. [8 March 1986]