Lacks depth. [Aug 2014, p.86]

Underwhelming. [Sept 2014, p.90]

Bearly enjoyable, bearly funny...[Sept 2014, p.90]

This is surely one of the most intensely frustrating games ever, but is not rewarding enough to be worthwhile. [May 2014, p.90]

We're not sure we'd even pay 69p for this great big pile of Sith (sp?). Search your feelings, you know this to be poo. [March 2014, p.88]

This is as lazy a use of a license as we've seen recently and this is from the company that made the Smurfs 2 game. [Feb 2014, p.91]

It takes a genuinely profound kind of idiocy to turn such a romping good series into something so leaden. [Feb 2014, p.91]

The other 3D classics are great. This is not. [Feb 2014, p.91]

It isn't terrible, it's just dull. [Feb 2014, p.84]

A good idea, wasted. [Jan 2014, p.75]

The doodads don't even make a noise, for pity's sake. [Dec 2013, p.88]

It gets the gold medal for pig-headedness, at least. [Dec 2013, p.80]

The alarming thing is that this was ever made. [Christmas 2013, p.88]

Never steps outside of its comfort zone. [Oct 2013, p.89]

Tolerably mundane. [Oct 2013, p.81]

A game rendered so easy by the needs of its target market, that it's dead on arrival. Consider this a Surf eulogy. [Sept 2013, p.89]

An idea's nice, but this one's been left to decay. [July 2013, p.86]

This could be the most accurate simulation ever made. By no means should that be taken as a compliment. [July 2013, p.86]

The graphics are some of the worst seen on WiiU...[and] many of the controls are flawed and unresponsive. [June 2013, p.84]

A very unpleasant experience. [June 2013, p.84]

A disaster. [June 2013, p.84]

It's amazing that it's so far from finished. We're not sure if it's the developer, the publisher or both, but someone should be ashamed of themselves. Awful.

Simply garbage. [May 2013, p.87]

A load of old (tennis) balls. [May 2013, p.87]

Horrible stuff. [Apr 2013, p.85]

We applaud Battle For Earth's unique approach to simplistic fighting, but its lack of content and depth won't impress anyone but the most junior gamers.

A prime example of how to disrespect the fans of something as big as Transformers: a £50 game that can be finished on a single GamePad charge. Yuck.

ONM Coroner's Report: Patient suffered a psychotic breakdown while playing this game. No treatment possible.

The other Rabbids mini-game compilations may have been light on longevity, but at least they provided a laugh. Rabbids Land doesn't even manage this.

Unless you like hammering the A button for eight minutes at a time while getting a headache, stay well away. Even young kids will get bored.

A sporadic, fragmented mess of Bond history spliced with brainless shooting that feels like a rushed Call Of Duty copycat. Get Black Ops 2. Don't get this.

Feels archaic compared to the likes of Face Raiders. Shame. [Jan 2013, p.110]

Feels archaic compared to the likes of Face Raiders. Shame. [Jan 2013, p.110]

A dull game that makes no use of the Wii U functionality. [Jan 2013, p.102]

As welcome as an ingrown toenail and twice as ugly. [Jan 2013, p.100]

Absolute dross: a joyless, inept, tedious, ugly, lazy, messy waste of your time and money. We hoped games this bad might die out with the Wii.

Hastily constructed, poorly thought out and deeply unsatisfying: an endless runner you'll want to end. [Christmas 2012, p.111]

Will scratch an itch for a new strategy RPG, but expect the dull ache of disappointment as a side-effect. [Christmas 2012, p.111]

It's a dire shooter with an unwieldy new controls system. [Christmas 2012, p.110]

It's 30 pounds. THIRTY! The equivalent package is under 2 quid on a phone. Need we say more? [Dec 2012, p.102]

A true classic gone horribly to seed. It'd be funny if it wasn't heartbreakingly sad. [Nov 2012, p.99]

The original's good ideas are distorted in an apparent attempt to justify a price tag. [Nov 2012, p.98]

A shamefully cynical 'update' that brings absolutely nothing new to the table and asks £30 for it. Stick with FIFA 12, it's only a tenner these days. Or save your money for FIFA 13 Wii U.

Honestly, if you buy this game, you are harming the industry. A truly horrible title. [Oct 2012, p.99]

Rank puddle of bilgewater. [Oct 2012, p.95]

There are glimmers of promise in the 3DS version, but the execution is so bad and the graphics engine so lacklustre, that you'll find it hard to squeeze more than a few drops of genuine pleasure out of this cold, grey stone. [Sept 2012, p.107]

A tie-in that will only disappoint anyone hoping to play as a "real" MiB character. [Aug 2012, p.104]

You're getting plenty of puzzles for your 4.50, but it's presented badly and it seems unfairly difficult from an early stage. [June 2012, p.109]

A very basic point-and-click crippled by non-interaction and a rather weak script. [Apr 2012, p.103]

A soulless title with poor mini-games, this is a party that needs no pooping.

Its challenge is too variable. [Feb 2012, p.105]

Very basic. [Feb 2012, p.100]

Half-baked rubbish. [Dec 2011, p.98]

Awful.

You'll find it tough to unlock all 101 games. Not that you'd want to bother because they're so abysmal, not even of the standard of your average Flash game.

There's a certain amount of tension as the clock ticks, but moving the stylus up and down to mow lawns is both fiddly and a bit dull - you really need to keep all three mowers running at once to succeed. Add in a ravenous dog that wants to bite chunks out of your kids and the result is a gruelling, unforgiving... well, chore.

Monotonous enough - and once you've finished that, you go back to the start to begin again as the 'dungeon' recreates itself. Hilariously, there's a second chapter to download, if you haven't had enough already...

So despite all the options - Championship mode, Capture The Flag, four player split screen and a Hot Pursuit mode - the wild handling is a little too much to cope with.

While you can teach an old dog new tricks, it's still a dog. [Nov 2011, p.95]

Disappointing. [Oct 2011, p.97]

It shows glimmers of fun, but a short story mode and lack of replay factor stifle it. [Sept 2011, p.98]

The only thing it has going for it is the controls. [Sept 2011, p.92]

Just feels like an unfinished mess that's been rushed to the shops in time for the release of the movie it's based on. [Aug 2011, p.99]

Shoddily made, uglier than Ugly McUglyson and an incredibly frustrating game. [June 2011, p.102]

Decent gameplay let down by a lack of any multiplayer or other modes whatsoever.

Tyranna-bore-us Rex. Triceraplops.Velocicraptor. You get the picture.

A shambles of a port that is an embarrassment to anyone who decided it was ready to be released.

Awkward to play, hard to look at, difficult to control and socially neutered. We're not sold on Splinter Cell.

A mindless, repetitive shell of a game, it's an insult to World War 2's tactical combat. [Jan 2011, p.92]

Frustratingly inaccessible. [Jan 2011, p.87]

A poor collection of rubbish Flash games. [Jan 2011, p.86]

Horrible to look at, has utterly bland levels and it's basically inferior in every way to the similar game "T-Rex Rumble," which is also available on DSiWare. [Mar 2011, p.105]

A very limited on-rails shooter that just gets boring after you've played it for about 15 minutes or so. [Mar 2011, p.105]

Here's a crazy idea for you: just buy a pen and some paper instead. [Mar 2011, p.105]

Impressive for 10 minutes or so, but it lacks any replay value whatsoever. [Mar 2011, p.104]

A dull, confusing game. [Mar 2011, p.101]

It's not even a very good example of what's already a tired and lazy genre. [Mar 2011, p.100]

Quotation forthcoming. [Sept 2010]

Incredibly buggy, prone to crashing and makes it difficult to aim at times. [Feb 2011, p.97]

It'll take you mere minutes to complete, but the dark, oily stain that it leaves on your conscience will take years to fully cleanse. [Feb 2011, p.97]

A tired, old game genre stretched out to within an inch of its life. Dull, dull, dull. [Feb 2011, p.97]

Dull and barely related to footie. [Feb 2011, p.93]

Awful script, atrocious music. [Feb 2011, p.91]

Utterly boring activities. [Feb 2011, p.90]

Too pricey for our liking. [Christmas 2010, p.94]

This has been done much better, many times before. [Christmas 2010, p.94]

You'll chuck your controller around in frustration. [Christmas 2010, p.94]

It's pleasant enough, but this'll be over long before your couch has even warmed up. [Christmas 2010, p.94]

More or less the same experience (as Vampire Moon). [Christmas 2010, p.91]

It's a dull trek and the stupid storyline doesn't help much. [Christmas 2010, p.91]

A shadow of its siblings on other platforms. [Christmas 2010, p.87]

A complete waste of time. [Christmas 2010, p.81]

For a kids' game, Travel In Time is horrible at guiding the player. It's all over the place.

A shameless imitation of a game that's infinitely better in every department. [Oct 2010, p.94]

Too slow to be any fun. [Oct 2010, p.96]

Unless you only want to learn the French for individual words though it's a bit useless. [Oct 2010, p.97]

The new best worst game ever. Briefly entertaining in a terrible B movie sort of way, but once that wears off this is just insulting.

Weird. [Sept 2010, p.97]