Leave her at the altar! She is “The Bride!,” one of the absolute worst movies I have had the displeasure of watching in this job.

"I need something bad and fast,” criminal Graham Bricke says to a weapons dealer early in The Last Days of American Crime. The Netflix action film definitely fulfills one of those criteria: It is so, so bad — but it is ever eye-gougingly slow.

An excruciating indie knockoff of "Training Day."

That this exercise in vulgarity was made at all is shameful. Dark Crimes is punishing to watch.

I have zero reservations about telling you how much I loathed New Year's Eve, a soul-sucking monument to Hollywood greed and saccharine holiday culture.

The narrative itself, attributed to three former "Seinfeld" writers who also worked on "The Grinch," reeks of desperation.

Based on a video game, far exceeds expectations -- in negative ways that inspire thoughts of less than zero stars.

A sexed-up Afterschool Special pretty much guaranteed to render audiences comatose.

James Franco, all is forgiven. His woebegotten “Oz: The Great and Powerful’’ is practically a masterpiece compared to this eyeball-gougingly ugly, charm-free animated musical sequel.

There’s a fatally miscast lead (Jack Huston, you are no Charlton Heston), cut-rate special effects, reams of eyeball-glazing dialogue, and a schmaltzy “inspirational” script that pointlessly alters the story in ways that make absolutely no sense.

It's so devoid of joy and energy it makes even "Jason X" - a recent attempt to prolong the rival "Friday the 13th" slasher franchise - look positively Shakesperean by comparison.

Under Jordan Susman's inept direction, these twentysomething airheads, angry about the proliferation of Starbucks outlets and other societal ills, all resemble nubile models.

The dreadful acting, direction and script make Nowhere Man a nowhere movie.

This retrograde sex comedy is embarrassing for just about everyone involved, but I do think a special endurance shout-out should go to Reid Ewing (“Modern Family”).

Talk about toxic masculinity — Buddy Games leaves you feeling dead inside.

For the most wonderful time of the year comes the worst movie of the year.

There’s no doubt at all that the schlocky The Lazarus Effect should have been euthanized and shipped directly to video rather than haunting movie theaters, however briefly.

A schmaltzy, smutty and mean-spirited quasi-satire.

There is one big winner in this mess, though. Congratulations, 1961's "Snow White and the Three Stooges": You're now the second-worst movie on the subject.

This must be one of the worst movies ever to get a big-screen release. If it weren't so boring, this unbelievably bad indie sex comedy would be worth going to for five minutes of laughs at its sheer incompetence.

Extremely cool-looking in the manner of "Sin City,'' but clumsily staged, slackly acted and mind-numbingly dull, Israeli director Guy Moshe's English-language fantasy is set in a future when guns, and apparently coherent conversations, have been outlawed.

If ever a movie could be charged with imperiling the morals of a minor, it's probably Sleepover, a sleazy, PG-rated sex comedy that's apparently aimed at 8- to 10-year-old girls.

Vanity productions don't come much worse than One Third, an amateurish, dialogue-free curiosity courtesy of Yongman Kim, the founder of the Greenwich Village institution Kim's Video.

And So It Goes appears to be targeting an audience segment that rarely goes out to the movies — while providing them a cringe-worthy incentive to never do so again.

The Amy Sedaris comedy based on the failed TV show isn't the least funny film of the year - but for that it should send a thank-you note to "United 93."

I Smurf-ing loathed it.

Miraculously, this clunker is worse than the original in every respect, but zero is as low as we can go. Like the original, “Spring Awakening” easily ranks among the worst movies of the year.

A feeble dramedy about a Baltimore beauty shop where someone should come in to sweep up the clichés.

"I am surrounded by oceans of boredom," the campy Abraham complains at one point. It's a sentiment audiences are bound to share.

A pathetically unfunny comedy that should have been shipped straight to video, if not recycled as guitar picks.

Not only isn't the new effort up to the standards of the anime, it's bloody awful by any standard.

[Hernandez] is obviously a man more concerned with art than commerce, but good intentions don't always make for good filmmaking.

It’s one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen at Sundance.

So unremittingly awful that labeling it a dog probably constitutes cruelty to canines.

It's trashy and disgusting - and those are the best parts. Mostly it's just an endless, pointless drone with characters like bacteria and dialogue like an untuned radio.

Unbelievably awful celluloid-waster.

Tim & Eric seem driven by a hatred of the audience and a wish to punish the same. Every episode of every sitcom I've ever seen is funnier than this movie, and I used to watch "Just Shoot Me."

This humorless, sadistically violent wreck has not a single satisfying second. It does, however, have more than 50 F-bombs.

Excruciatingly maudlin.