The unfortunate aspect of Class, which is glossier than Private Lessons and marginally more believable than My Tutor, is that its laughs are built around the suffering of a prime candidate for intensive therapy. Thus while the kids are watching one movie -- boy loses virginity, ya-hoo -- adults in the audience will be watching another -- wife and mother has an emotional breakdown at the hands, literally, of a 14-year-old. The latter, of course, is not funny. [25 July 1983, p.C6]

It's hard to believe there could be so much slack in a film only 96 minutes long. Director Needham blows off the last 25 or so with a race sequence. We're treated to one uninteresting crowd shot after another while a Dixieland band plays Dixie -- all of Dixie -- on the soundtrack. [02 July 1983, p.C5]

At a preview showing Thursday night, Porky's II was greeted by laughter that ranged from hearty to thunderous. That's definitely OK. By all means, let the good times roll. Go for $120 million this time. Just keep that snake out of my comfort station. [25 June 1983, p.C1]

With director Mel Damski making his debut at the helm of a feature, Yellowbeard is a film adrift. [27 Jun 1983, p.C6]

Credit goes to Richard Lester, who is much more than an action director and whose erratic brilliance occasionally transcends this material, and to Reeve, who has manfully refused to let on that he is tired of the part (as opposed to the Jedi principals, who phoned theirs in). [17 June 1983, p.D1]

Octopussy is not very good. Though there's a good car- and-train chase scene and the usual schedule of narrow escapes, this one has fewer adventure sequences and less drama even than the last half-dozen. There are more gimmicks. [10 June 1983, p.12]

It's almost wonderful. For an hour or so, it is. Funny, scary, occasionally wonderful. On the strength of that first hour, this should be one of the summer's big pictures. Nonetheless, when WarGames goes wrong, it's a great disappointment. [3 June 1983, p.D1]

This is a silly movie, yes. But since it works as a humorous homage for students of Hitchcock and his B-movie masterpiece, and since it works as a high-grade slasher film for the rest of the audience, there's no hating it. In fact, this is the most likable gore film in years. [04 June 1983, p.D4]

Chained Heat is your basic visit to the snakepit, with a few twists. One is the presence of Linda Blair, as the innocent (she's in for vehicular homicide, "an accident," which makes her cell-hardened fellow inmates snicker with anticipation). Another is that rarely in the history of either movies or the penal system have prison officials and guards been seen to be quite this despicable. [30 May 1983, p.D5]

No one creates fantasy like George Lucas, and there's nothing quite like a big, cornball fantasy to start the summer. This one is the biggest yet, and it is hard to imagine anyone not being entertained by it. It is, as we used to say around the galaxy a long time ago, a tour de force. [25 May 1983, p.D1]

When the action founders on cliches and implausibilities, there are only the characters to fall back on. And this time, they're papier-mache. [13 May 1983, p.C2]

Breathless, on the other hand, earns its style -- it uses that style against its characters, so that the film's good looks serve as background while the characters, trying to live up to the scenery, grind themselves down. 18 May 1983, p.B1]

It's hard to dislike Cheech and Chong, even now, in the wake of the most tedious 90 minutes of "feature" film in 1983. "The boys" have been at work on their curious subgenre -- drug references and large breasts in ceaseless combination -- for far too long now, and you can tell, watching them sleepwalk through the material, that they're tired. [10 May 1983, p.B5]

Doctor Detroit is Dan Aykroyd's first big solo vehicle, and it has some traditional Motown problems: It sputters and wheezes and lurches, never does run smoothly, never does satisfy. In the spirit of products from another troubled industry, this is a raucous comedy that just doesn't have very many jokes. [10 May 1983, p.B5]

An almost-horror film called The Hunger has in common with Flashdance an apparent obsession with style over other considerations, and the result, though weird, is no more satisfying. [02 May 1983, p.C6]

Except for several scary moments, notably the tarantula assault, Something Wicked is harmless -- but it is never bland. And it has Jason Robards in the pivotal role, the wise but timid father who will have to make his stand. [03 May 1983, p.B7]

Though My Tutor contains many scenes meant to provide comic relief, there is only one that works: Hired to deflower Bobby in the early going, the local drive-in slattern is caught flagrante delicto in a well-used backseat by her fiancee, the leader of a motorcycle gang. "He hates it when I do this," she says to Bobby, and one wants to love this movie...Otherwise, alas, My Tutor is witless. It seems to take forever for Bobby to learn to conjugate, and he's pretty slow at French, too. As for the double standard, note that simple role reversal -- older man deflowering teenage girl -- produces not a softcore sex comedy, but a crime drama. And that's a different genre altogether. [23 May 1983, p.6]

So it's all pretty silly. But it does move along, and the range of weapons is formidable. Steve Carver, who did Norris' An Eye for an Eye, knows how to handle action, though Lone Wolf might have been more convincing had he let any of the bad guys shoot straight. [5 May 1983, p.B10]

And because it is less bound by formula -- less stupid, if that can be comprehended -- than Porky's, Screwballs is funnier. That is not saying much, but Screwballs was not conceived as a film for scholarly inquiry. If you like naked women posing as high-school cheerleaders, your moment has arrived.

You will not necessarily know any more about life after the film is done, but you'll have killed a couple of hours painlessly, and you will have laughed a lot. [18 Apr 1984, p.C6]

Though Rosenthal is slick enough to lure us into the big Rocky climax, his movie isn't serious enough, or good enough, not to leave a bad taste in the mouth after it's over. [27 Mar 1983, p.L4]

But whether even kids will be able to take The Outsiders seriously is a hard question. Whether by fidelity to his source or by director's embellishments, Coppola has come up with a story about tough kids who appreciate sunsets and recite Robert Frost from memory, about members of a mid-American urban underclass who ponder their situations with the dispassionate acumen of sociologists. The Outsiders is about "greasers" who are not greasy, and it seems likely that even kids will see through it. [29 March 1983, p.5]

Implausibly, irretrievably boring -- an affront to its undemanding genre. [28 March 1983, p.C6]

No more than a mild diversion. [21 March 1983, p.C6]

The final scene is so foul that even ya-hoos have trouble mustering much applause; it's the kind of film that makes you feel dirty. As for Bronson, whose box-office appeal has faded as the viciousness of his films has increased, Ten to Midnight is a kind of milestone: It's time to write him off. [22 Mar 1983, p.B5]

Scorsese and Zimmerman seem to be building on Andy Warhol's proclamations about the nature of celebrity. What they've added is the sourness of it and the pointlessness, and their King of Comedy, for a while darkly funny, winds up being terribly sad. It's the most unpleasant fine film in years. [20 Mar 1983, p.L1]

The movie is happy and bright and thoroughly nice, and every now and then it's loud and funny and at least as large as life. And it could have been larger, and better. [22 Feb 1983, p.C5]

Local Hero is almost magical, it is so unexpected. It is whimsy raised a power or two by the skills of a filmmaker who looks at life slightly askew. He sees enchantment in small, off- center encounters, and gets the enchantment onto the screen. [05 Apr 1983, p.D5]