A by-the-numbers sports drama with a death grip on clichés and acting every bit as flat as the mat, seems unlikely to draw much of a crowd.

In most respects Police Academy 2 is witless, which complaint is admittedly akin to inspecting a Hefty bag and being dismayed to find trash. [03 Apr 1985, p.D7]

Stoops well below substituting style for substance.

Occasionally, Down Periscope floats but it isn't particularly see-worthy. [01 Mar 1996, p.3C]

Definitely funny. Goofy, ridiculous, with more gross-out humor than is strictly necessary but still funny.

Tedious and trite.

This odious, hypocritical movie marks director David Gordon Green's graduation into full-on hack.

What is evident from the film is that there was never any chance these two peoples could make a peaceful coexistence.

This inventive family movie sets up the most delightful premise, then squanders it on the kind of yawn-inducing CG adventure you might expect from one of those long, plot-heavy cut scenes that slow down video games.

Hot Dog...The Movie! involves soft-core quickies and schoolyard one-liners and is not much fun at all. [14 Jan 1984, p.C7]

If the story were not already stupid and cynical, the casting would kill the film in any case. Garner is utterly lost as a top sergeant; he doesn't even swear well, and some of the movie's most uncomfortable moments are those in which he tries. [16 Mar 1984, p.D10]

While the movie sets you up to believe you're watching an old- fashioned American western (in other words, a morality play), it's confusing figuring out what the bad guys represent. [31 Aug 1984, p.C8]

Kenan Thompson may not look the part, but he's instantly likeable as Fat Albert.

Stops dead the second the monsters fall out of view. It doesn't help that the movie's post-apocalyptic future is of the unimaginative backlot variety, or that the movie takes itself so seriously.

What's missing is originality and story and inventiveness.

The movie's hokey mysticism and heaving melancholy is closer in spirit to a solemn Hallmark greeting card.

The most fortunate thing about The Lucky One is that despite a plot hole so big it could generate its own gravity field, it's still not a bad movie.

Offers a few strange twists on well-used material. [12 Sep 1983, p.C5]

Roberts looks great bathing under a waterfall. It's just that no one had the heart, during this production, to tell her that it was stupid. And so, while all about her are laughing up the short sleeves of their safari jackets or rattling their Zambooli spears in impatience, Roberts plays Sheena as high drama, as best she can, which isn't so good. [18 Aug 1984, p.C1]

With director Mel Damski making his debut at the helm of a feature, Yellowbeard is a film adrift. [27 Jun 1983, p.C6]

Harrelson certainly proves an entertaining foil to Brosnan's more refined thief.

Tiresome romantic comedy that reinforces every imaginable gay stereotype.

While patience is a virtue in a marriage, we shouldn't need quite this much to make it through a movie.

As time goes on, and more King comes to the screen, The Shining, once widely disparaged, looks better and better. At least that film translated some of King's terror; subsequent adaptations, Pet Sematary included, do little more than animate the gore. [24 Apr 1989, p.C6]

This new, presumably improved Chainsaw is just as humorless as the original, but it's also slicker, glossier and resoundingly artificial.

Even though Taking Lives is not very good, it does contain a) a cool car chase and b) a sex scene in which Jolie goes topless. For some, this will be enough entertainment.

There's nothing here you haven't seen before, especially if you own a PlayStation.