Film students may enjoy watching Candy Mountain for the continuity goofs -- snow that vanishes and reappears between shots, a guitarist who either is or isn't playing, depending on whether you believe your eyes or your ears. But music fans drawn by the names on the marquee would do better to spend their money on an album.[26 Aug 1988, p.C5]

Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome is a rip-off of punk style. It pretends to be about life after we destroy the world -- or about the despair and degeneracy in the world as we know it now. In fact, it's mostly one big fashion show. Science-fiction flicks about contrasting good and bad societies have been done for a long time and done better. If you're 14 and angry, dig it. Otherwise, stay far away. [10 July 1985, p.D6]

In Year of the Dog, director Mike White willfully violates one of the great unwritten rules of Hollywood screenwriting: Kill as many human characters as you want, just spare the dog.

After he reveals what is ultimately a paper-thin murder scheme, LaLoggia develops suspense, but like the rest of the thrills in Lady in White, it is fleeting. [27 Jun 1988, p.D6]

Huston's effort was an ambitious attempt to simmer down difficult literature, but this Under the Volcano is too thick and too thin. [31 Aug 1984, p.C11]

The movie even fails on a psychological level, never illustrating how, in a pressure-cooker environment and swept up by mob-think mentality, we are capable of committing acts that innately repel us.

Manny & Lo is a gals-on-the-run film that aims to be Thelma & Louise for the My So-Called Life set. Instead it's as engaging as a public service announcement. [23 Aug 1996, p.8G]

Despite the actors' admirable efforts, everyone in The Door in the Floor is too affected, too fancifully written, to come off as anything other than conceits.

For the story of a man who made his mark on pop culture by being a likable buffoon, the irritatingly arch Confessions of a Dangerous Mind takes itself way too seriously.

War is hell, and so are bad movies about war.

The Edge was written by playwright/filmmaker David Mamet and directed by Lee Tamahori (Once Were Warriors, Mulholland Falls). Both excel at dissecting that complicated beast known as male angst, but both fall flat with this confused misfire that plays as a banal stranded-in-the-wild adventure for grown-ups. [26 Sep 1997, p.4G]

The best moments in director David Koepp's slight, dull movie are the scenes in which bike messenger Wilee pauses at busy intersections to figure out the path of least obstruction.

Sommersby simply lacks momentum and sense. [05 Feb 1993, p.G5]

You’re Next is built on such an enormous pile of guff, it’s practically insulting.

White Men Can't Jump clocks in at just under two hours of court-stomping, in-your-face, anything-goes street basketball. And that's all, folks. [31 Mar 1992, p.E6]

Ferrara displays a surprising lack of imagination throughout, sticking to the original film's predictable Who'll be next? progression. [21 Feb 1994, p.C6]

A hellishly bad film. [8 Feb 1985, p.9]

For most of its running time, Wes Craven's New Nightmare is simply a s-l-o-w- tease to a paradoxical, reality-bending shockfest that never materializes. [14 Oct 1994, p.G9]

An insufferably artsy, pretentious work, the sort of picture that gives art films a bad name.

Not only does the fragmented delivery become trying, but also the behind-the-camera dialogue and city shots with heavy Parisian traffic numb the senses. And as beautiful as it looks, there's really nothing new coming out of the lens of the revered Godard.

With Kaboom, Araki takes a huge step backward from the maturity and restraint he demonstrated in 2004's "Mysterious Skin," his best and most-assured film to date.

It's fun seeing what these two can do when they're inspired, but it's awful having to sit through what happens when they're not. [21 Dec 1984, p.D10]

Neeson is always compelling, even in a movie as ridiculous as The Grey.

This noisy, formulaic film turns out to be immediately forgettable, except for the parts that are so ridiculous they leave you shaking your head in wonder hours later.

Hard Target is pretty much a bust from every conceivable aspect, except the visual -- it looks terrific, and one sequence, a shoot-out on the streets of New Orleans between Van Damme and a progressively larger number of bad guys, comes close to capturing the trademark frenzied, exhilarating feel of Woo's previous work. [20 Aug 1993, p.5]

The characters in Secretary never feel the least bit human. Their quirks, sexual and otherwise, are all on the surface. Inside, where it counts, nobody's home.

The River Wild is simply a procession of banal, dull situations that add up to nothing. [30 Sep 1994, p.G4]

In their defense, it must be said that Dennis Quaid (as the chief dreamer) and Kate Capshaw (back again, this time in the time-honored woman's role of "assistant scientist") make an appealing couple. The presence of Max von Sydow and Christopher Plummer is more problematic; someone paid these people a lot of money to sleepwalk. [16 Aug 1984, p.B6]

Stupid and exploitive, the movie is loaded with cartoonish gunplay, car chases and strange allusions to The Godfather. This is an offer you'll gladly refuse. [06 Nov 1996, p.5D]

My Favorite Year moves from bad joke to bad joke, but it does move. [08 Oct 1982, p.D9]

First Blood is no more than a man-bites-town retread, in which Vietnam and its aftermath are merely the angle. [27 Oct 1982, p.B6]

The characters, starting with Lewis himself, are downright obnoxious. Not counting those singing frogs or the time-traveling T. rex (with its big head and little arms), only Lewis' sad-sack roommate ''Goob'' is remotely sympathetic.

The movie, however, is the sort of picture in which people run around doing everything except the most logical thing to do, because that’s the only way to keep the nonsensical plot spinning.

The lack of effort, right down to the unimaginative title, is dispiriting.

In New Jack City, director Mario Van Peebles seems determined to show that he can make a movie as shallow and violent as any white Hollywood hack. No problem: He did it. [8 Mar 1991, p.G12]

There's nothing so artistic about it as to attract the same art-house crowd that braved subtitles to discover "Nine Queens," and yet, it's professional enough that Spanish speakers will be glad to have a heist movie on par with "Rush Hour 3" or "The Pacifier" made in their native tongue.

This Must Be the Place is as emotionally zonked-out as its protagonist, and just as difficult to warm up to.

The talented actors are game, but they are done in by the shallow nature of their characters, none of whom behaves in a manner remotely resembling real life (they don't really seem to be related, either).

There's a startling moment 10 or 15 minutes into The Adjustment Bureau - the only time, really, when the film achieves any level of surprise. The dispiriting dullness of this dreary misfire hasn't had time to settle in and thicken: The movie hasn't yet revealed its utter and thorough ineptitude.

It's more interested in enlightening than entertaining, and Kidron seems to go out of her way to sap the life out of every scene. It's a horribly directed movie. [08 Sep 1995, p.5G]

In the end, Wendy and Hiro lose their identities in each other's cultures -- an interesting premise for a movie. However, this potentially dramatic point suffers from a badly paced script, and acting that leaves you wondering where the characters are. [15 Apr 1988, p.C12]

You don't believe Celeste for a minute when she tells a new guy that she needs to be alone for awhile. You know he's coming back in short order to provide the happy ending. Here's hoping she doesn't want him to get a job, too.

Despite the movie's bouncy ebullience (courtesy of a terrific period soundtrack) and dashes of fantasy, the film quickly becomes an endurance test.

A stiff, unconvincing epic.

Aggressively, defiantly stupid.

Nothing in it -- plot, dialogue or character development -- reaches today's standards of filmmaking.

Jurassic World gives you exactly what Howard’s character promises at the beginning — More! Bigger! Faster! — but you know there’s something deeply wrong with a film that expects you to shed tears over digitally created prehistoric creatures and rubber brontosaurus heads instead of rooting for, you know, people.

Like Russia's answer to "The Matrix" and "Lord of the Ring"s trilogies, Day Watch offers the second chapter in an epic battle between the forces of Light and Dark, the result of which is a gaping gray area where nothing much makes sense.

Inherently laughable, but in all the wrong ways.

This is 40 is crude and dull, with a supporting cast that reminds you how utterly uninteresting the main characters are.

Drowns in its own noxious fumes. Who knew being bad could be so dull?

The latest collaboration between Cohen and director Larry Charles proves the formula they created with "Borat" and then started to milk dry with "Brüno" has finally run out of juice. Time to move on, guys.

Neither as good nor as bad as you'd hoped it would be: It's just a mediocre exploitation picture with an inspired premise (succinctly spelled out by its title), loads of gratuitous gore, a dash of equally gratuitous nudity and enough inanities to make you wonder if Ed Wood rose from the grave to serve as a creative consultant on the project.

I'm not big on getting lectures from produce, and the Jonah story is not exactly fresh from the crisper, but Jonah is engaging enough for parents looking to introduce their kids to the veggiest story ever told.

Men in Black 3 is so dull and empty, it's the first movie that has ever made me think "Thank God this is in 3D."

The Search for Spock should be great fun for Trek fans; it's splendid junk when it works. But if you can't hum the theme from memory, Trek III is likely to be just another way to kill two hours. [1 June 1984, p.D1]

British satire loses something when it's handled by Americans: You miss the perspective that a foreign culture brings, so instead of wit and humor, you end up trafficking in self-congratulatory clichés and sentiment.

The saddest part about this whole affair is that it took Bugs and Co. 60 years to make their feature debut -- and this is what they get. At one point, Daffy Duck is discussing merchandising royalties and says, "We gotta get new agents -- we're getting screwed." In Space Jam , even the cartoons are in it only for the money. [15 Nov 1996, p.5G]

Two predictable disappointments here (among many): As usual, these high school kids appear in fact to be played by folks who have left college well behind them; and, sadder, Just One of the Guys was directed by a woman -- women filmmakers being a worthy cause under almost any circumstances -- yet betrays no higher consciousness regarding kids and sex roles than Porky's 3. [30 Apr 1985, p.B3]

In Snow White and the Huntsman, this talented but woefully miscast actress (Stewart) is expected to rally an entire army of soldiers, even though she usually looks like she forgot the combination to her locker.

Ballard made The Black Stallion and Never Cry Wolf, and he's good with spectacle;: His second-unit crew this time found ways to shoot the controlled violence of big sails in good wind that take the breath away. But the rest of Wind is just out there flapping. What a mess. [14 Sep 1992, p.C5]

Slow-witted, clumsy and almost pathologically reliant on crude name-calling for laughs - Horrible Bosses represents the lowest end of the comedy spectrum.

Shrill and sloppy film.

Patronizing, dull and offensive, this drama about a knight in shining white skin out to serve justice in the name of po' black folk is Hollywood at its sanctimonious, bleeding-heart worst: A movie made by people who are sitting so high up on their hills, they long ago stopped realizing they're looking down at the world. [03 Jan 1997, p.5G]

A Middle Ages "Rocky" that spares no cliche in its unduly long, 2 1/4 hours.

The movie is heavy on shock and gimmickry, thanks to Renny Harlin's frenetic and flamboyant direction. The wafer-thin plot is little more than an excuse to showcase the astonishing achievements of special-effects makeup artists. [19 Aug 1988, p.D9]

In The Arrival, Charlie Sheen makes a startling discovery that, sadly, has nothing to do with the suspicion that he should have ended his flagging movie career ages ago. [31 May 1996, p.6G]

You may not be able to keep your lunch down after viewing his film, but you'll at least be momentarily intrigued. [24 Sep 1987, p.C6]

Laughable, contrived banality. You won't believe a second of it. [17 Sept 1996, p.25G]

A thriller boasting Mel Gibson's first starring role in eight years, elicits a gigantic wow -- as in ``Wow, does this movie suck!''

The times have caught up with Almodóvar, who is now 63: He thinks he’s still pushing the envelope, but he comes off as old-fashioned and outdated.

This shameless cheerleader of a documentary is the sort of propaganda you might expect in a Republican campaign ad or perhaps featured at a small theater located somewhere in Fantasyland.

It does contain some curiously overwrought dialogue. People say "Go for it!" a lot, but then Louden will observe, with the bright eyes of a man on the edge of a modest revelation: "The nice thing about working out all the time is that you have a lot of nocturnal emissions." Don't laugh; this line actually stirs something deep inside the heroine, and Carla's eyes, like the sensibilities of an entire audience out in the seats, go suddenly, irretrievably soft. [16 Feb 1985, p.C7]

There are several cameos in For a Good Time, Call… by famous actors portraying the girls' phone-sex clients, including Kevin Smith and Seth Rogen, but they've been clearly been left to improvise, and they don't put much effort into their routines.

Kid II is not comparable to its predecessor. It is stale and boring. [20 June 1986, p.D1]

Hitchcock spends too much time off the set of Psycho, where the real story was, and focuses instead on incidental matters that feel like outtakes. Mother would not have been pleased.

Maybe there's a good movie to be made about the affair between Franklin Delano Roosevelt and a distant cousin. I wouldn't bet on it, and Hyde Park on Hudson isn't it in any case.

This tale of teenage witches run amok is silly, juvenile stuff, and it doesn't even have the decency to stick to its own ridiculous logic. [03 May 1996, p.6G]

What ultimately sinks The Visit is that Shyamalan, who had previously come up with new and ingenious ways to frighten us, resorts to familiar jump-scare tactics in which things suddenly pop into the frame, accompanied by loud sound effects. There’s no real sense of danger, no menace.

If the Giorgios were more interesting, perhaps Brooklyn Lobster would feel less sluggish. But as it is, the crustaceans' unhappy destinies are more compelling than the colorless lives of their captors.

The scattershot nature of the script, which feels as if it had been made up on the spot, leaves the actors looking like they're enjoying some private joke not shared with the audience. Self-indulgent does not even begin to describe it.

The Conspirator hits a new nadir for Redford: Sitting through this stage-bound, talky, stiffly-acted movie reminded me of having to endure the Hall of Presidents attraction at Walt Disney World (one of the few existing bits of proof that Disney had a dark and evil side).

If you're going to be offensive, by all means be offensive. Be tasteless! Be "There's Something About Mary." But at least stick to your guns, and don't wuss out when it counts.

Once the premise has been established, the film goes absolutely nowhere.

Whatever goodwill Stuart Saves His Family manages to work up disappears by the maudlin, dramatic finale. [14 Apr 1995, p.5G]

Director Stuart Blumberg’s movie, which features a surprisingly starry cast, comes off as superficial and trite.

But there's nothing in this amateurish movie that the opening credits of last year's "Go" didn't do better.

It is a grand-looking, grandly empty pageant.

Art School Confidential, the first disappointment from director Terry Zwigoff, is all glum, dour cynicism.

So I Married an Axe Murderer is a clumsy mishmash of Saturday Night Live sketches and a rambling comic-thriller plot that wastes the promise of twisted laughs presented by its '50s B-movie title. [30 July 1993, p.G7]

Please. Quick. Somebody stop Jim Carabatsos before he writes another movie. Carabatsos, author of the vile new Clint Eastwood movie Heartbreak Ridge, has created another trashy screenplay in No Mercy, thus affording stars Richard Gere and Kim Basinger the chance to sully their careers. [19 Dec 1986, p.7]

Much like the play within it, Hamlet 2 is lousy. The main difference is that the play is SUPPOSED to be awful. The movie about the play is supposed to be funny.

When Escape From L.A. isn't being ridiculous, it's merely dumb. It's no fun at all. [09 Aug 1996, p.6G]

There are frothy romantic comedies and then there is Jet Lag, a movie so thin it borders on nonexistence.

Fleischer has missed his opportunities to get real comic- book style humor out of this movie. It could have been a lot of belly laughs -- but as it is, it's only an occasional snide chuckle. [04 July 1984, p.B5]

Why does The Big Year's trailer intentionally hide what the film is really about? Here's why: Because bird-watching - or birding, as practitioners prefer to call it - makes for a stupefyingly boring movie.

A confused mess of music video montages drowns out the rest of the action, depicting the foursome in a variety of sexy romps that clash with the plot.

No rose-colored memories can improve this tedious interpretation of the famous girl detective's adventures. Nancy Drew falls somewhere between "The Haunted Mansion" and the live-action "Scooby Doo" movies in terms of quality but is more irritating than either.