The simple act of turning around in Vengeance is more difficult than wiping out an entourage of baddies in clear view. Plus, jumping (lift the nunchuk) and operating vehicles is more annoying that doing a sink full of dirty dishes.

The only thing that could have made this slapdash and sloppy game any weaker would have been to throw in Aquaman. [Apr 2004, p.86]

Killer 7 is certainly off-beat, but it's on the lonely side of mediocre, and even a rental will ultimately feel like wasted money.

Say what you will about Destroy All Humans! Path of the Furon's shoddy graphics, lame script and bad physics -- when you throw it in the trash, it at least lands inside of the can instead of embedding itself in the wall.

With horrible graphics that look like something an owl regurgitated, broken controls that must be wrestled with at every turn, and level designs that could turn the undead, Robotech: Invasion is an utter waste of money.

One of the most maddening problems is that each time you die (which happens a lot), you respawn at the beginning of the level. There is no continue option, and you can’t skip the-story-so-far screens.

With sloppy production values, insane load times, sub-par graphics and sound, and gameplay that irrevocably evolves into: grapple, counter, super, grapple, counter, super, this game isn't even worth the rental fee.

The core gameplay in all its monotonous glory is, unfortunately, entirely preserved, and while no one can deny the appeal of trashing pricey downtown real estate while noshing picture-snapping tourists and tossing trains, if you play one level you've played them all.

Though the game’s gliding feature is an inspired concept, trying to execute it, as well as most other moves, can be incredibly irritating due to extremely temperamental and unresponsive controls.

Not being able to transform in a Transformers game is ridiculous.

Poor graphics and animations, a tear-jerkingly simple fighting system, painful bonus rounds, and one of the worst end-boss encounters ever put to pixel.

The worst part of the game has to be the audio. The incessant buzzing that is meant to represent the vehicles engines brought to mind the tinny whine of our time with Outrun on the Sega Master System. There's literally no variance or change in pitch in the engine's hum for, oh say, air flow, proximity or speed. There's just straight up honey-powered bee-mobiles.

The game's biggest defect lies in its terrible early-gen PS2-grade graphics. I haven't seen anything this blocky since the last time I played with my Legos!

Endless Ocean's underwater atmosphere is soothing and relaxing but it lacks a crucial element: fun. [Feb 2008, p.84]

One of the worst games I've ever had the displeasure of reviewing.

Not even close. Burn the Rope is an under-produced, featureless port with uninteresting gameplay. Save your money -- there are many other titles on WiiWare more worthy of your time.

Everything about it is horrible: the writing, the illustration, the voice-acting -- everything.

There's no online component whatsoever, and splitting the screen for local one-on-one match-ups just exacerbates the already intolerable frame-rate woes. The sad truth is that even the most hardcore robot battle junkie will feel ripped off by this mess.

The characters models are ugly despite aspiring towards cuteness, and the soundtrack will turn your brain into oatmeal.

Leaving you with a bad taste in your mouth and an unwashable feeling of downright sleaziness, Onechanbara can be simulated by checking into a shady motel.

Regardless, I think it goes without say that Spray is both very bad and very broken; and that's in addition to the ugly pastel graphics and terrible animation (like I said, the main character skitters). Let's just forget it ever happened, shall we?

Just don't expect any depth if you pick this title up... and don't be surprised when your kid asks if he can trade it in for another game.

Target Liberty will only serve to frustrate even the most die hard of tactical shooter fans.

My pretentious ramblings aside, Gummy Bears is a terrible piece of shovelware for the Wii.

Seasons could've just ripped off Animal Crossing entirely, and it would've at least been a good game. Derivative, but enjoyable.

Charming idea met with terrible execution, deep fried in repetitive, unresponsive gameplay, more bugs than an ant farm and served with constant, nonsensical lag.

Very short. I'm deleting it from my iPhone as soon as I turn in this review.

Returning to the horror genre's roots might be a good idea, but Trapped Dead doesn't offer convincing evidence of the idea's merits. It fumbles at every step except -- with the possible exception of mimicking comic books in its menus and cutscenes.

Personally, I wouldn't give this game the time of day, and I happen to like RPGs. However, I'm envisioning Trinity being available for 99 cents a couple years down the line, and some very poor college student may want to grab it because they're bored and can't afford the latest shooter du jour. To those people I say, hey, if you don't mind forgoing ramen for a day, knock yourself out. You'll get a healthy 15-20 hours of kicking around goblins for your money. As for the rest of you, you'll probably be happier sticking with the ramen.

Set phasers to "avoid". [Mar 2008, p.87]

Games like this make me wish I could score them just by looking at the box and throwing it in the trash, but Transformers: Dark of the Moon 3DS nonetheless managed to fail my lowest expectations.

Tamagotchi Party On! does not give me a single reason to recommend it to anyone. The game is impossible to play with a single player, but the absence of multiplayer mini-games makes this game a complete waste of time for the party gamer--not to mention that actually convincing someone to play this game with you will be a challenge.

If I could, I would seriously give Dive to the Titanic a 0.0 out of 5. Every time I started up the game at home, I had to make sure to have something going on in the background -- cartoons, the news, or a podcast -- just to distract myself from wishing that I was dead.