We have no doubt this went gangbusters in Japan, but for those with slightly more discerning tastes, blood and bikinis are simply not enough, regardless of how impressive the jiggle physics are.

Visuals are ugly and uninspired.

The end result is a much paler, disappointing conversion that besmirches the good name of the series and sets the ‘Consoles can do Strategy games too’ campaign back a number of years.

Yes, it looks pretty, but without the competitive spirit and creativity of other party games, Party Animals gets old faster than a progeria sufferer. This one is sadly a bit of a party pooper.

A passionless racing cocktail that’ll fail to start your engine.

Without the gore it’s got nothing more.

It's neither a good depiction of the real thing, or fun.

Ninja Reflex is a cool idea that's nicely presented, but it's just WAY too wafer thin play-wise to justify its price tag.

Donkey Kong was Nintendo’s original big baddie. He’s now been reduced to an inanity-grunting, tie-wearing corporate wuss, shilling lacklustre knock-offs of games his mortal adversary in Mario aced the market with. It’s time to stand up and fight! Don’t support this emasculation of a – perhaps THE - classic arcade bad dude.

The overall experience left us with a bad taste in our mouths and an almighty “WTF?” resonating from our lips. Sigh.

I’d like to say there’s a good game at the core massively rushed. But there’s not. Its only ambition is to be a God of War incest baby.

This product is too crude for even the ‘mainstream’ demographic; it can only possibly appeal to the ignorant.