Director Blanks delivers a wholly pedestrian feature debut in this by-numbers teen horror flick that could give you the impression Scream never really happened.

An obsequious, ring-kissing portrait of the current US administration, dressed in gauche, glossy reality-TV clothing. And yet somehow still better than Rush Hour 3.

Self-serving, storyless tripe.

Godsend is based on an intriguing premise. Sadly, it's mangled into an Omen-lite disaster area, thanks to a script torn between making a moral point about cloning and cheap shocks.

The Hustle buckles under the overbearing weight of its own vulgarity. Avoid the dirty rubble by all means. An embarrassment to the heist genre, an insult to all existing comedies, a disgrace to feminism.

A Twilight pastiche with all the wit you'd expect from the makers of "Scary Movie" and "Meet The Spartans."

Brilliantly terrible or terribly terrible depending on your viewpoint.

Poor script, poor direction and poor performances mean a dismal 70's disaster movie is the result.

A preposterous premise that never makes sense. A tedious thriller that offers no thrills. An A-list cast reduced to C-list material. Piers Morgan. We can but pray that scientists invent a procedure to remove the memory of ever watching this film in the first place.

Globe-trotting but not adventurous, action-packed but not remotely exciting, utterly overstuffed and completely paper-thin. Nuke it from orbit.

Another soulless, pointless rip-off, this doodles around the plot parameters of John Carpenter's Halloween movies with only Pleasence, who died during production, and Carpenter's theme tune as links to the series' beginnings.

On paper, fine; on celluloid, a Rocky Horror Show of nightmarish proportions.

Double the dads, but half the laughter.

As a subversive take on Milne, it’s achingly banal. As a rural horror film, it’s more inept than the most wretched Wrong Turn sequel. As a would-be cult classic, it commits the ultimate sin of being no fun at all. This bear is sh*t in the woods.

Limp jokes, bad chemistry and the least believable onscreen fraternal bond make for a very lacklustre viewing experience. Even a late appearance from Christopher Walken can't save the day.

A needless threequel. Note to director: avoid 'rise of the' titles.

Safe when it's ripping genre jokes word for word, this pallid pastiche never goes for the jugular, the heart, or any other part of the audience, for that matter. It breezes by like the tamest of ghosts, almost unnoticeable.

Blue Iguana grates on pretty much every level, a misjudged hodge-podge of ill-defined characters, tired filmmaking licks and an air of general unpleasantness. It also contains one of the worst shootouts in recent memory.

Disappointing.

Dismal, cliché-ridden stuff.

The three stories do not make a whole in this disappointing arthouse film.

All-in-all a fairly unpleasant experience for most audiences.

The cinematic equivalent of being teabagged without your consent.

Boring and Silly, Ronin is a better example of Frankenheimer's direction.

Absolute tosh. A ridiculous, unerringly tedious plot is weighed down by listless performances from a cast who clearly wished they were somewhere else, despite the sumptuous locations.

A cool idea rapidly falls apart. A completely missed opportunity.

Bad film fans will think Christmas has come early, everyone else should ask for the receipt.

Predictably awful fourth installment.