For the price of Criminal Girls, you could buy a whole bunch of sex toys, one of those big anime pillows with a naked girl on it, or some really nice handcuffs and a whip. Regardless of who you use them on, you’ll have more fun with them than you will with this game.

The more that a tactics game relies on story than gameplay, the more it betrays a lack of self-confidence in the ability of its mechanics to sell the game. It’s the equivalent of an 80s B-Movie that is selling you on its cover art alone.

As it stands, I am asking Enforcer to hand me its badge and its gun and I present it with a dishonourable discharge.

Graphically speaking, the game looks poor on 360. Even for a last generation game it looks like it would sit better on the PS2 during most stages.

Times are sad when the weakest parts of a game are listed as “everything to do with the main plot and gameplay”. But by chaining the title to “Undead & Undressed”, XSEED have made it *about* the absolute worst parts.

If you have a hankering for a city builder, or a nice relaxing overworld sim, I would recommend staying well away from Transport Giant. It doesn’t want you to play it, it doesn’t want you to understand it and it really doesn’t want you to love it. You might find that spark within it, but you’ll have to work harder than it deserves.

It’s shocking to see something this bad on a current gen console, and it’s really sad to think that someone released this and asked for money.

I can’t say I warmed to the soundtrack, but I confess it’s cheery enough, and I can’t really identify anything offensively bad about Aritana. I think the dev team could make something really great in the future, but for the moment I could only recommended this game to a very patient platformer fan. And it would have to be on sale.

The advertisement was not subtle at all with the pop up adds coming up every two minutes. This can really ruin the playing experience overall as well as the waiting you have to do to gain energy.

Rise of the Dark Spark is a decent enough title, but its failing is that it changes too much. It’s nothing more than a shallow, poorly executed imitation of Fall of Cybertron.

Showtime! is a rather disappointing effort which is a pity as there are some neat touches in the game.

As it stands, despite being a fun strategic tower defender, Rush for Glory is overpriced and generic.

Pro Cycling Manager Season 2014 is a very detailed and overwhelming managing game that only the most dedicated fans of professional cycling might enjoy, and I suppose that’s fine, given the niche.

Air Conflicts: Vietnam is a game that just can’t justify its own existence. It’s got a few clever ideas, but it doesn’t have the scope or budget to threaten any of the amazing flight sims you could play right now for far, far less money.

Overall, I quite enjoyed Bloodbath. It has a few rough edges with its clumsy controls and lack of splitscreen or story.

My time with Nun Attack: Yuki’s Silent Quest was rather short lived. Ninety minutes of playing the same levels multiple times soon became a chore and I longed to play the games that inspired Yuki’s Silent Quest instead.

It’s dull, barely requires the player to pay any attention, and feels like little effort has went in to refining it.

Mugen Souls Z wears its perverseness on its sleeve (or panties as it may be) but underneath that there’s a competent if clunky JRPG that doesn’t do enough to differentiate itself. It’s a bizarre game that helps serve as a reminder of how weird and different Japanese games can be but it never ascends beyond being a delivery vessel for crude humour and pervy art.