Its pleasures are slight and fleeting, and so many movies have done what it does, and done it much better, that there's nothing to get even remotely excited about - much less to draw audiences into theaters.

Made is an amateur-hour buddy movie.

The dramatic content in Memento is as blank as Leonard's post-traumatic mental state.

How does an embarrassment of riches turn into mere embarrassment?

Never persuasively dramatize the agony, ecstasy and intricacy of composing poetry. Without that aesthetic component, all you see is that Plath's hunger for life couldn't compete with her death wish.

Lame.

It's hard to know what these stars are ready for after this fiasco. Maybe a fitness video.

Pious, high-minded and bad history.

The only question is how many levels of meaning can be plumbed from the phrase "Let's party!"

Forget chemistry: There's no biology to the star casting.

You don't want to look at anything else when Zeta-Jones is on-screen.

Manages to pretty much ignore all the strengths of the earlier film while exacerbating all its faults.

There's way too much blarney in Evelyn.

There's no irony within the film, but there's a whopping irony surrounding it. Just as Star Wars has finally ended, Rocky seems to be starting all over again.

Malkovich acts as if he's doing Shakespeare, pontificating, enunciating and generally overreaching.

Manipulates the audience.

Overblown sanctimony and sentimentalism as corny as the Fourth of July.

Method Man and Redman just don't have the comic timing to pull off 90 minutes at front-and-center.

An uninteresting take on a tired formula that is only occasionally funny and usually pretty gross.

Torque isn't a movie, it's an 81-minute soda commercial.

So, here's the problem with The Butterfly Effect: It's silly.

What it is not is funny.

The movie's own style is strictly an anti-style, all pre-packaged post-punk.

For grownups, this treacle is going to be pretty hard to swallow.

Roos suffers from fallen archness in his interminable new movie Happy Endings. He wants to be mischievous and ambitious and "human," all at the same time. He ends up with delusions of tragicomic grandeur that leave an audience fed up and dissatisfied.

It's supposed to be funny watching these two characters and wondering who'll be the first to start acting her age, but it's really just pitiful, watching two talented actresses...given so little to work with.

The Hangover is like an infernal comedy machine. Surrender your soul to its foul mesh of cheap cleverness and vulgarity. and you howl like a delighted demon. Resist, and you feel all sense and sensibility being crushed in its cogs.

The movie gives us a time machine that resembles a twin-engined Mixmaster and a script that was tossed together inside one.