Austin Chronicle's Scores

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For 8,783 reviews, this publication has graded:
  • 41% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 57% lower than the average critic
On average, this publication grades 6.8 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)
Average Movie review score: 58
Highest review score: 100 The Searchers
Lowest review score: 0 Gummo
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 4,778 out of 8783
  2. Mixed: 2,558 out of 8783
  3. Negative: 1,447 out of 8783
8783 movie reviews
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  1. Double Impact
    One brother grows up to be a dashing smuggler, the other is a dork and it's a tribute to Van Damme's acting ability that it's frequently impossible to tell which one is which. I could go on, I'm having a pretty good time at this, but I think I'll save my usual rants about homophobia, racism, and generally insensitive stupidity for a movie that attracts an audience that reads film reviews.
  2. Christmas with the Kranks
    Egregiously mediocre and flagrantly ill-conceived in every department, this is, truly, the cinematic equivalent of finding a single solitary Saltine in your stocking and a pair of old tube socks beneath the tree. Humbug!
  3. Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party
    Uninterested in persuasion or education, this third documentary by Dinesh D’Souza is designed to aggressively reinforce prejudices and hostilities among true believing conservatives as it offers a “history” of the deliberately evil, completely corrupt, America-hating Democrats.
  4. The Virginity Hit
    The Virginity Hit is repugnant.
  5. Baby Geniuses
    Trying to encapsulate the movie's storyline is not possible; it doesn't appear to have one.
  6. Whatever It Takes
    Drivel of the purest ray serene.
  7. Bless the Child
    It works not at all.
  8. Half Past Dead
    “This is just like a video game,” observes rapper-cum-actor Ja Rule, taking aim during one of the myriad firefights that comprise this lunkheaded, vaguely dystopic actioner. Man, is it ever.
  9. When in Rome
    How do movies this bad still get made?
  10. Scary Movie 4
    So lazy it's downright boring, something not even a naked Leslie Nielson (!) can salvage.
  11. Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2
    This is a movie that should have bypassed the theatres and gone straight to DVD. It is offensive on so many levels.
  12. Gentlemen Broncos
    White is cast in this film as a “guardian angel” and adds another level of painful homosexual confusion and stereotyping to the film. Ultimately, all the chafing caused by Gentlemen Broncos is likely to leave you saddlesore.
  13. Catwoman
    Utterly devoid of merit, fantastic or otherwise, a more exasperating descent into the feline world is difficult to imagine.
  14. See Spot Run
    The script is simultaneously boring and breathlessly busy, and it really gives Arquette a beating, as scene after scene subjects him to electrocution, dog attack, encasement in bubble wrap, public pantlessness, assault by the hearing-impaired, a fishbowl on the head, and gluteal paralysis caused by poisonous sea urchins.
  15. Darkness
    Eurotrash for the new millennium.
  16. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation
    The movie is nothing more than a perpetual chain of elaborately choreographed (by returning star Robin Shou) fight sequences that mix live-action foregrounds with complexly layered digital effects and are linked together by the most flimsy and laughable of plot elements.
  17. Crossroads
    Functions mainly as a big-screen showcase for America's No. 1 teen tease, with the story and other characters serving mainly as accessories.
  18. Beverly Hills Cop III
    Beverly Hills Cop III is made with so little spark, humor, and internal logic that it makes me better appreciate these other recent Murphy movies where the actor/comedian at least stretched his persona and attempted something apart from the action comedy mold.
  19. 10,000 BC
    The only evolution in question here is that of Emmerich's skills as a director of motion pictures.
  20. The Punisher
    The Punisher is such a bad film that it becomes inadvertently entertaining; it’s enough to make you pine for the original version of the black-clad Marvel Comics’ badass, played to awful imperfection in 1989 by Dolph Lundgren.
  21. Yu-Gi-Oh!: The Movie
    It’s a lot like hearing the play-by-play account of a heated game of bridge. Only not half as gripping.
  22. Thérèse: The Story of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux
    Her mortal story seems one of sadness rather than inspiration.
  23. Happily N'Ever After
    If you really want the kids to see a colorfully cryptic meta fairy tale, be subversive and go rent 'em some Alejandro Jodorowsky. No child deserves Happily N'Ever After.
  24. The Seeker: The Dark Is Rising
    None of this made a lick of sense to me, nor did it appear to be all that obvious to either the cast or screenwriter Hodge, whose work here feels as though he'd given up in frustration halfway through before deciding to see how far he could push the vaguely Harry Potter-esque shenanigans before getting sacked.
  25. Serving Sara
    It's the kind of bad movie that gives bad movies a bad name.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 0 Critic Score
    Home Alone 2: Lost in New York
    The John Hughes script must have taken him all of thirty minutes to write – simply a matter of a few name and location changes. It wasn't a good script the first time, either.
  27. Kazaam
    It's full of special effects that are big on smoke and noise, but short on logic and payoff.
  28. Snow Dogs
    The marketing weasels over at Disney deserve to have their beady little eyes gouged out with flaming icicles for the fast one they've pulled on audiences with Snow Dogs.
  29. Dirty Grandpa
    Dirty Grandpa is like that drunk guy at a party who corners you, shooting an endless litany of raunchy and offensive jokes until you finally laugh. It is comedy as pummel, wearing you down until finally you gasp, “Uncle!”
  30. Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood
    It's the same old story, seven times around, you just can't keep a good corpse down. ’Spite a massacre the film before, To Crystal Lake, they keep coming more. And one by one, they end up dead – a sliitted throat; an axe in the head.
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