The movie is plagued with long stretches of dialogue-free contemplation and static shots of nature happening. At only 83 minutes, the film is too slight to feel so padded.

In Chernobyl Diaries, directed by Bradley Parker, stupidity is taken to extremes.

The catharsis found here is far quieter, and much more effective, whether it be the pain expressed in a student's essay or the honesty found in a simple gesture, one that ends the film in beautifully moving fashion.

In fact, the problem with the film is that, despite an excellent cast that includes Maggie Gyllenhaal, Hugh Dancy and Rupert Everett, it doesn't really know what it is. A little of this, a little of that and by the time it's done, it adds up to not much at all.

Subtle, it's not.

The good news is that it's better than the second "Men in Black." The bad news is: not all that much. There are a couple of clever ideas, a few funny moments, a wealth of computer-generated special effects. But it's hollow at its core, and the asides have lost some of their spark.

Creepy, confounding and more than a little curious. It's also quietly compelling.

The movie drags on way too long, but there are things to like.

The worst thing about What to Expect When You're Expecting, director Kirk Jones' fictionalized film version, is how fake it is, how cartoonish the experiences.

For the most part, the movie's rhythms feel slightly off -- there are long stretches without a laugh -- and there is a mean-spirited air to the whole thing.

Stuff just happens, some of it funny, some of it uncomfortable, some of it good, some of it bad. Just like real life, which is what makes Turn Me On, Dammit! so weirdly enjoyable.

Yam Laranas doesn't leave it at that. In his low-budget, creepy thriller, he spells out why and how this particular path is so deadly, as well as what led to the crimes and supernatural horror that seem to frequent the place.

It's a little too obvious -- interesting, sometimes kind of fun but, ultimately, not as satisfying as it might have been.

For one thing, all the characters are far too pleasant.

It seems hollow, somehow false, even by its own campy standards.

Jang and Odagiri are good as the rival runners and soldiers. But they are surrounded by over-the-top performances, which play out like a mugging contest.

There is nothing the slightest bit heavenly about this project, which is wrong-headed in just about every department.

So no points for originality. Madden tries to make up for this with sheer British acting personality and nearly succeeds.

The real hero here is Joss Whedon, who directs the film with a fanboy's enthusiasm and a thorough knowledge of the genre.

The only flaw here is the score. It's beautiful but so obtrusive, particularly at the start, that it threatens to turn the proceedings into melodrama.

It's paper thin, floating away when it's over without leaving a strong impression one way or another.

Jenkins is a fantastically adaptable talent. It helps that his character here is supposed to be innately likable (by everyone, evidently, but his girlfriend's family), since Jenkins is so likable as an actor. Good thing, because there is little else to like about Darling Companion.

Statham probably isn't going to be doing Shakespeare anytime soon. But everybody ought to be good at something, and when it comes to this kind of thing, Statham is very good, indeed.

The lunacy begins early in The Pirates! Band of Misfits and never lets up.

Unfortunately, stretching things out dilutes the charms of Segel and Blunt, which are considerable.

Welcome back, Whit Stillman -- with Damsels in Distress, the hipper-than-thou club is back in session.

Jiro Ono is a magician.

It's all just empty calories and little more than an excuse to watch Zac Efron play with puppies. It's nice, but for anyone who's too mature for Tiger Beat, it's not enough.