Ever had that nightmare? You know, the one where you're trapped in an endless escort mission with a suicidal blonde who insists on being carried everywhere? No, wait, that's not a nightmare - that's this hack-and-slash buddy movie with witch-in-distress Gretchen. She does the magic, and you (witch killer-turned-protector Heinrich) do the slaying with a giant scythe. Heinrich is immortal,Ever had that nightmare? You know, the one where you're trapped in an endless escort mission with a suicidal blonde who insists on being carried everywhere? No, wait, that's not a nightmare - that's this hack-and-slash buddy movie with witch-in-distress Gretchen. She does the magic, and you (witch killer-turned-protector Heinrich) do the slaying with a giant scythe. Heinrich is immortal, so your 'life' is actually Gretchen's, forcing you to protect her in battle as she goes on her mission to free the souls of spell casters. The basic premise grates a little. She's an all-powerful witch who can summon a giant guillotine to decapitate demons - but she still needs a big man to carry her about and open jars and stuff? Excuse me while I apply this lighter fluid to my boxers. That said, it's the slightly wonky gameplay that actually lets Knights Contract down. For one thing, the big burly hero isn't all that in combat. While Heinrich is immortal, he's also quite prone to falling down like an old lady on an icy pavement. There he's reduced to prodding things with his scythe until you hit X 30-40 times (yes, I counted) to get him back up. Or until he explodes into bits. Either way, there's X prodding. And while the design of enemies is actually pretty cool - weird wolves, witches with hollowed out rib cages, giant demons with gazillions of teeth - you start seeing the old familiar faces again and again, like some sort of horrific Groundhog Day. Also, for a game that's basically just one long frenzy, it's weirdly easy to end up following the wrong passageway until you loop back on yourself, especially in the snowy case level. (Wait, that endless expanse of white definitely looks familiar...) There are shades of Bayonetta in Gretchen's many spells - icy spikes that thrust from the floor, traps that grab and hold your enemy's limb so you can take a few cowardly swipes - and some enjoyable combo-filled fights to be had, but overall this is just another half-hearted adventure to leave on the shelf. Then buy Castlevania: Lords Of Shadow instead.… Expand