With its fast-paced, superhuman action and buckets of mucky pixel gore, Rogue Stache hits the player with great first impressions. Within an hour, though, its problems become apparent. Poor balancing choices, a crippling deficit of personality, and an agonizingly sluggish progression system combine to pull this game below even mediocrity. In a strange, ironic twist, the very elements meant to keep you engaged are those that will leave you irritated and bored. While forthcoming changes might result in a superior experience, right now it’s best to leave this last manly man to fend for himself.