Witney Seibold

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For 70 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 67% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 31% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 3.5 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Witney Seibold's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 62
Highest review score: 97 Sorry to Bother You
Lowest review score: 20 Hurry Up Tomorrow
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 37 out of 70
  2. Negative: 5 out of 70
70 movie reviews
    • 58 Metascore
    • 65 Witney Seibold
    The canon of "The Equalizer" has never taken the world by storm, usually percolating in the background of popular culture as a piece of intense ephemera. Robert McCall is a former Marine and DIA officer, but that is entirely ignored in part 3. He's a superhero played by Denzel Washington, and the filmmakers assume that is enough. For many audience members, it will be.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 65 Witney Seibold
    The chases and gunfights in Manhunt are impressive and brisk, containing just as much panache as you remember from John Woo films of 20 years ago. The plot, however, is even more old-fashioned, effectively undercutting any drama with a silly cheesiness that may not always work.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 65 Witney Seibold
    Ultimately, Snow White is better than "Beauty and the Beast" and "The Little Mermaid" — by a long shot — but it's not as good as Branagh's "Cinderella" or Burton's "Dumbo." And, sadly, it overall still bears the boring sheen of a corporate mandate. This is another cynical enterprise, tapping into certain nostalgic images in the hopes that we'll pay for the same high we had as children.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 65 Witney Seibold
    The Equalizer 2's conventional storytelling is certainly weak, and the violence is particularly brutal, but Denzel Washington and Antoine Fuqua have created a unique Punisher-with-heart vigilante character that is a pleasant thrill to watch and a modest delight to revisit.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 65 Witney Seibold
    Will Nobody 2 set hearts aflame? No. If this had been the first "Nobody," no one would have been clamoring for a sequel. But it is a glorious Saturday matinée, a brisk trifle for the waning days of summer. It's the kind of movie that you'll remember better for the friends you saw it with than the movie itself. And that can be one of cinema's most important functions.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 61 Witney Seibold
    You'll certainly find better alien mayhem films than Beyond Skyline, but some creative special effects, interesting fights, and fun, alien brain-sucking will keep you moderately – but solidly – entertained.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 61 Witney Seibold
    Superfly features an appealing lead, and captures small tastes of amazing, striking cool, but is also bogged down by plot and characters that reduce an otherwise slick flick into something that is more capable than amazing.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 60 Witney Seibold
    Madame Web does not provide a crowd-pleasing bombast. This is a pity, as this odd duck makes for a fascinating watch. This may be one of the final films of the superhero renaissance. Enjoy it before it topples over entirely. 
    • 68 Metascore
    • 60 Witney Seibold
    Although featuring some good acting, and certainly ambitious in its critique of the characters, American Animals is too sleepy to strike a chord.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 60 Witney Seibold
    Despite the film's clear edict to include as many tasteless jokes as possible . . . Quasi possesses a strangely disarming, hangout quality, leaving it feeling ultimately harmless and even a little bit friendly.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 60 Witney Seibold
    It is superior in acting, lighting, pacing, and clarity. It's also raw and confrontational in a satisfying way. But it's also a glorified remake more than it is a sequel. "Platform 2" is not an expansion, but a retread, nihilistically sifting through violence and cannibalism to get to a point it repeated over and over. Second verse, same as the first. 
    • 30 Metascore
    • 60 Witney Seibold
    The Electric State is one of the most expensive films ever made, and one can see every dollar on the screen. The robots feel real, and their design, taken from Stålenhag's book, is fitfully unique. But one wonders why so much effort went into a movie that has almost nothing on its mind.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 59 Witney Seibold
    The Halloween monster mash iconography is incredibly strong and the cast is excellent, but Goosebumps 2 is in far too much of a hurry – and perhaps too eager to be widely accessible – to be actually scary or wholly effective.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 59 Witney Seibold
    The Darkest Minds is a wholly rote YA sci-fi adventure that continues a genre that is pretty much dying out. Despite this, the film is capable and enjoyable and features a great lead actress in Amandla Stenberg.
    • 49 Metascore
    • 58 Witney Seibold
    Mary Shelley's fascinating life story is told to contain a few brief glimpses of modern insight, but ultimately weakens under its over-use of conventional, romantic storytelling tropes.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 55 Witney Seibold
    Mufasa will satisfy, but it also feels ultimately useless. Like Disney is once again spinning its wheels, trying to wring billions of dollars out of old ideas while they brainstorm new ones. Fans of "The Lion King" may be slightly moved. At the very least, you'll finally know how Rafiki got his stick.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 55 Witney Seibold
    Overall, the details of Blue Beetle are fun, and the characters may inspire a few warm familial smiles, but the whole is frustratingly shabby and rushed.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 52 Witney Seibold
    Action Point contains some crazy stunts and some funny-ish gross-out humor, but is ultimately a pale echo of the dark destruction Johnny Knoxville became famous for.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    The film lacks the wonderment and excitement of Indiana Jones, but it's not quite as dumb as "The Da Vinci Code," and certainly less obnoxious than, say, "Red Notice."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    In execution, it feels like a neophyte director's confident first turn. Perhaps shabby, but well-meaning, and only occasionally straining against its obviously limited means. 
    • 34 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Love Hurts marks the first leading role for Ke Huy Quan, and he avails himself well enough. He doesn't ever shimmer off the screen, and he doesn't handle the romance elements perfectly, but he possesses an appealing hangdog quality that feels human and relatable. However mediocre the movie around him, one always has the instinct to cheer him on.
    • 58 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    In terms of cheap, late-night, exploitation flick fun, it satisfies.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    "Michael" emerges as whatever the opposite of a warts-and-all biography is. This is a polished, flavorless, cracks-free paean to Jackson, celebrating his highs and only sometimes looking at the lows, as if they were mere dust-bunnies under the couch.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Not as annoying as it looks, but hardly a stirring or imaginative entertainment, Sherlock Gnomes has a comfortable home right in the middle of the road.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Sony, still possessing the film rights to Spider-Man, decided to make an interconnected Spider-Man Villain universe, of which "Kraven the Hunter" is the final chapter. Watching Chandor's film, though, one can see that neither the studio nor the filmmakers are interested in starting anything anymore. There is no presumption that fans will be interested in long-form mythmaking, and sequel teases remain light. This allows "Kraven" to be stupid on its own. And, in a weird way, that's a relief. We're free.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    There is a great deal missing from Ritchie's film. "The Covenant" is almost aggressive in its complete lack of wartime litigation. While the harrowing nature of a soldier's experience is laid bare, the meaning of the actual, prolonged quagmire of the Afghanistan occupation will be lingering in the back of most audience's minds.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Witney Seibold
    Once Upon a Deadpool is a cute idea that doesn't live up to its potential, leaving audiences with little more than a less interesting version of a better movie they might have loved.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 45 Witney Seibold
    At a bloated 156 minutes, audiences will have too ample time to ponder the film's many weaknesses. The racing will be exciting — very exciting, in fact — and Pitt is certainly a movie star, but quite frankly, I can have my own midlife crisis, thank you. I don't need to watch Pitt's.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 45 Witney Seibold
    "Believer" is not the worst "Exorcist" film by any stretch, but it's certainly the least intriguing. It's a rote, choppy thriller that forgets to scare us.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 45 Witney Seibold
    It's not that big, it's hardly bold, and it's only beautiful on its surface. It could have been a journey.

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