For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • 47 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Sure, Mortal Kombat II has enough fight scenes and gore to deliver exactly what fans of the games expect from these movies. Then again, the makers of this new franchise-booster don’t seem to know how to fill the rest of their movie’s 116-minute runtime. They tie up loose ends from the last movie whenever they’re not nudging their new protagonists through the motions of another patchwork action-fantasy that’s too hip to be sincere and too hacky to be moving.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, some climactic fight scenes, featuring strong action choreography and a clear overall presentation, give “One Spoon of Chocolate” the great emotional release it needs after so much dramatic buildup.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 67 Simon Abrams
    In this case, Eckhart exudes the sort of unselfconscious paternal energy that’s needed to keep things moving in between the familiar, but well-executed disaster movie story beats. He almost single-handedly makes Deep Water a better-than-average genre exercise, though the bloody shark attacks and corny banter don’t hurt either.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    This is a sports melodrama played like a Billy Joel concert, with enough well-honed showmanship and passion to make even its cheesiest qualities seem like an unpretentious celebration of Patton’s everyman.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The most enchanting thing about “ChaO” isn’t necessarily its hyperpoptimism, but the many little ways in which its breezy and arresting style reflects its creators’ lightly held Utopianism.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    For a while, the found-footage horror thriller “Bodycam” appears to have something to say and, therefore, a better-than-average sense of how to handle its subgenre’s tropes and tics. Then, in the last 10-15 minutes, the illusion is spoiled.
    • 61 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The Bluff exemplifies a very enjoyable type of nostalgia-bait, even if it’s never as good as its elevator pitch.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Blades of the Guardians is a boisterous, but unhurried action-adventure that never feels sloppy despite its digressive bent. Even the perfunctory confrontations seem consequential thanks to Yuen’s knack for character-driven action.
    • 54 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    As a performer, Fischbach’s frantic performance can sometimes be distractingly monotonous, but as a filmmaker, he has an impressive eye not only for compositional details, but also for how his images cut and flow together.
    • 76 Metascore
    • 83 Simon Abrams
    The resulting drama might have been exasperating for its surface passivity if Pálmason’s faith in his actors and other regular collaborators, as well as his knack for composition (he’s also the movie’s cinematographer), didn’t pay off so regularly and so viscerally.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Gans’ sequel delivers more of the same, so it likely won’t impress anyone who doesn’t already enjoy getting lost in the fog.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, Studio 4°C’s sumptuous animation and sound design still make “All You Need is Kill” a vivid and worthwhile do-over.
    • 26 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Five Nights at Freddy’s 2 not only has a more involved story, but also features more engaged filmmaking throughout, with more camera setups and visual brio.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Baahubali: The Epic may not deliver a better edit or experience, but it does highlight what was already great, especially once it settles into a groove following a ten-minute intermission break. By that point, most of the cuts have already been made, leaving the leisurely pageantry of Rajamouli’s regal milestone to speak for itself and at its own preferred volume, too.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    A few heavy-handed stabs at commentary aside, “Queens of the Dead” gets by with good, flirty cheer.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Prisoner of War may sometimes deliver what you hope for, but it’s an otherwise sloppy outing for Adkins, who by now should expect more from himself and his audience.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Rabbit Trap, a supernatural drama about a young couple haunted by a creepy child, revels in the tropes and tics of a few decades’ worth of British folk horror.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The movie’s cast members all seem to understand their assignments, which makes even the sketchiest material seem more robust. There’s also more technical polish, as well as a general knack for comic timing, than you might expect from a remake of “The Toxic Avenger.”
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Here, the filmmakers know exactly what kind of movie their audience wants and have a better-than-average plan to deliver it. You say you want more bromantic chemistry, over-the-top action, and flamboyant, logic-defying plot twists? “War 2” delivers all of that.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Kaufman keeps things moving at a brisk pace and delivers the sort of cheesy dialogue and story beats that you should expect from this dorky, but serviceable genre exercise. He’s a better action filmmaker than he is a straight-up dramatist, as you can unfortunately tell in scenes where the protagonists struggle to emote through visually and emotionally flat dialogue scenes.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Sex
    Dialogue does most of the heavy-lifting here, just like in “Love”, the first and most recently released entry of Haugerud’s thematically related series. Haugerud’s knack for visual storytelling also makes a difference, specifically in how he presents the city of Oslo and its features as an enriching backdrop.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Your enjoyment of “Tornado” depends on how much you want to root for thinly drawn characters who don’t look strong enough to carry an entire movie. They can and they can’t, depending on how patient you’re feeling.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Surrender accomplishes a lot with a sketch-sized story and matching compositional agility and precision. It’s short (less than 90 minutes!) and sweet and the best kind of upsetting.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Love remains distinct, given its unsparing view of people as flawed and not very sure of themselves.
    • 87 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    At heart, Caught By the Tides is an experimental romantic drama, though that makes it sound unapproachable and a little gimmicky. It’s neither, thankfully, and that’s largely thanks to Jia’s typical focus on the material signs of time’s relentless passage.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Last Bullet puts a decisive capper on the previous movies’ action-intensive gearhead-cop saga, though it’s hard to say how much closure one might need from these characters. They’re charming enough thanks to a committed ensemble cast, but nothing about the movie’s by-the-numbers narcotics cops vs. dirty cops story demands further extension.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    With Bullet Train Explosion, you get a straight-down-the-line crowdpleaser, replete with duty-bound authority figures in well-pressed uniforms, anxious and often self-absorbed passengers, Macgyver-like problem-solving, seat-of-your-pants close calls, that sort of thing. There are no real surprises here, just what you’d want from this sort of cheeseball entertainment.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Writer/director Chad Archibald still shows some promise here, especially whenever he lets his actors, cinematographer, makeup, creature, and production designer sell what is, at heart, a generic possession story. He thankfully does this often enough to keep the plot’s familiar and slowly dispensed beats from feeling too rote.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Co-directors and writers Billy Bryk and “Stranger Things” star Finn Wolfhard pay homage to ‘80s body count pics with a sappy but likable coming-of-age comedy about a group of summer camp counselors who are stalked and slayed by a masked killer.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Việt and Nam only initially looks like something that you might expect to find on John Waters’ Best of the Year list. Soon enough the movie becomes a gentle romance about loving the dead.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    It’s not a hard movie to follow or fall for, as fans of Guiraudie’s earlier movies already know. He commands our attention even when his characters are either too ridiculous or too petty to be taken seriously.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Instead of relishing the specific details of this story, you wind up enjoying its familiar pleasures and then maybe its creators’ proficient execution.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The battle scenes are grand, the martial arts fights are fleet and impressive, and the romantic drama is taken seriously enough. It’s a bit of a headache, but “Legend of the Condor Heroes: The Gallants” still has its cornball charms.
    • 68 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Ne Zha 2 is a rare sequel that amplifies both its action and drama without sacrificing much of what already worked in the last movie. It’s also a rare blockbuster that offers something worthwhile for a wide-ranging audience.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Here, finally, is the movie that you likely wanted to see in the first place, replete with fantastic beasts, computer-generated spells, and other supernatural attractions. If you embrace this superior sequel for what it is, you’ll find a lot to like in “Creation of the Gods II: Demon Force.”
    • 76 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s time in a bottle and a pleasure to soak up.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yen continues charging ahead in “The Prosecutor,” which frequently goes hard enough to fly through its corniest lulls.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    While the action scenes may be the best reason to watch "Striking Rescue," they're not the only ones. There's almost enough off-kilter energy to keep pace with Jaa's on-screen intensity.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Heavier Trip mostly ambles from one formulaic twist to the next, never really straying far from conventional situations or familiar characterizations.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    It's a stylish and modern action movie that also features some of the year's most satisfying fight choreography and action filmmaking.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    There's so much detail and such a clear sense of dramatic proportion that it almost doesn't matter that the movie doesn't resolve itself traditionally or with a full stop. You can still get a clear sense of how time moves for the workers in Zhili in "Youth (Homecoming)" without necessarily knowing what comes next.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    This one stands out not only because it’s the fittingly agonizing climax to Wang’s trilogy but also for its sheer wealth of heartbreaking and totally convincing details.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Woo and Tjahjanto not only share a half-cynical, half-romantic view of violence but also likely some of the same influences. What sets them apart as filmmakers isn’t where or how much they’ve swiped but how well they synthesize their apparent pulp fiction love into something new and cinematic.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Vettaiyan may sometimes feel like the worst kind of throwback, but it still manages to coast on its star and his collaborators’ unshakable faith in crowd-pleasing movie logic. The filmmakers don’t miss a formulaic story beat nor do they skimp on what they think their audience will want from Rajinikanth.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    For the most part, the new “Bad Genius” doesn’t enhance more than it adds to its source material. It’s still a better-than-average redo, if only because it doesn’t break what never really needed fixing.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The funniest thing about “Daaaaalí!” is how often Dupieux succeeds at tricking you into thinking that he’s about to zig when he’s clearly ready to zag. It’s not a sophisticated bit, but Dupieux’s commitment to illogical anti-humor remains pretty disarming.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Siva rarely challenges his charming ensemble cast to step outside of their comfort zones, but he and his collaborators still deliver a lot of what you might want from an action-musical about a pack of murderous, but righteous pirates.
    • 80 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    In his impressive debut feature, writer/director Jason Yu strikes a fine balance between character-driven and high-concept horror.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    With “The 4:30 Movie,” a lightly likable coming-of-age story and romantic-comedy, writer/director Kevin Smith (“Clerks III,” “Jay and Silent Reboot”) offers low-stakes nostalgia and very little else.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    What “How to Make Millions Before Grandma Dies” lacks in subtlety, it more than compensates for in its range of feeling and the surprising depth of its feel-good reassurances.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    When it comes to broad comedies and unabashed melodramas, I’m usually not satisfied unless the moviemakers commit to exhausting whatever genre movie clichés or tropes that they’re futzing about with. The Greatest of All Time comes close enough to that ideal and on a fairly consistent basis.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    I can only recommend “Don’t Turn Out the Lights” so much, mostly because the characterizations and the dialogue are so cliched and unlovable that it’s often hard to enjoy all the twists and turns that Fickman (“Race to Witch Mountain”) tiptoes past throughout this diverting Choose Your Own Adventure genre exercise.
    • 77 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Unbound by physics or any sense of psychological realism, “Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In” is also probably the best comic book adaptation you’ll see this year, featuring a murderer’s row of Hong Kong stars like Louis Koo, Aaron Kwok and Sammo Hung, and featuring the sort of intricate maximalist production design that puts most other blockbusters to shame.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Customs Frontline is not quite as thrilling or as relentless as Yau’s other recent successes—particularly “Moscow Mission” and “Raid on the Lethal Zone”—but it still delivers more twists and surprises than you might expect from this tip of sudsy, formulaic cop drama.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Escape finds an interesting subject in that ambiguous line, but never examines it closely enough to convey what it’s like to be invisible while in service to your own country.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Kill tics off most of the essential boxes for a good popcorn flick, making it easy to resist but harder to pass up.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Goofy, over-earnest, and just good enough where it counts, Kalki 2898 AD outdistances its competition simply by digging deeper than expected into its patchy lore’s rich melodramatic turf.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The movie’s fun, if a bit staid, when it’s in all-monsters-attack mode, but Ultraman: Rising doesn’t stand out whenever it requires more of your attention.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Art College 1994 is unassumingly sweet because it’s about young people and their eternal quest for freedom and self-expression, mostly inside their own navels.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Dupieux’s latest will either annoy or charm you depending on how much you appreciate being led around by the nose by a filmmaker and a cast of characters who seem pretty committed to jerking you around.
    • 57 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Blackout is nothing new, or even essential, but it mostly works anyway thanks to Fessenden and his cast’s impressive collaboration.
    • 52 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It’s the quasi-gothic scenario that’s amusing here, and it’s as fraught as it is straight-forward. That and a perverse sense of humor puts “Amelia’s Children” over the top, though it’s never quite ha-ha hard enough to be satirical, nor sincere enough to be campy.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Deliver Us stands out because its creators have struck the ideal balance of lull-inducing silences to daft genre trope punctuation. It doesn’t make much sense, or flow smoothly from one scene to the next. But boy, Deliver Us sure does what it does.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Khufiya isn’t a deconstruction of the spy thriller, but it does blatantly re-orient viewers to what’s often missing or downplayed in stories about spies, many of whom are presented as solitary little wheels who work for big organizations that could stop needing them at a moment’s notice.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Scafidi’s movie appropriately reflects its director’s neurotic need to show all the different ways you can think about Argento and his art.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Fighter never strays far from the path that other movies like it have previously charted, but it still delivers most of what it promises.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Ray and his co-stars’ easy chemistry makes you want to hang out with Will, if only to see where the plot twist takes him. “Destroy All Neighbors” wouldn’t really work without that essential playfulness; the fact that it works at all suggests that Ms. Lee and her team are the movie’s real MVPs.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    I Did It My Way exemplifies the current state of mass-oriented Hong Kong genre cinema, leaning hard on its seasoned cast to both remind viewers of better movies and carry this one around the bases fast enough that you still get your money’s worth.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    There’s no question that Neel’s the key to Salaar’s success, so it’s hard to get too upset for his reminding us with every italicized, bolded, and underlined flourish.
    • 66 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Archies celebrates its protagonists’ character-defining youth by letting them be cute, doofy, and mostly self-absorbed.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yamazaki’s style, like his movie’s politics, only looks conservative when compared to his predecessors. He made a good Godzilla movie, if not a great one.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, while “Monster” depends on dramatic irony and revelatory twists, it’s also a showcase for director Hirokazu Kore-eda, whose knack for collaboration brings out the best in his actors, especially his younger cast members.
    • 69 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    There’s no way to enjoy “Cypher” without seeing it as an elaborate and often exasperating joke at viewers’ expense.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    You still might get what you want from Tiger 3 during the action and musical scenes, which have their moments.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Leo
    If you’re watching “Leo,” it should be to see Vijay show off in between animal attacks, car flips, and celebrity cameos. And even if you don’t expect much from “Leo,” it still might give you exactly what you need.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The makers of Going to Mars do right by Giovanni by showing how she speaks for herself.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Leo
    If you’re watching Leo, it should be to see Vijay show off in between animal attacks, car flips, and celebrity cameos. And even if you don’t expect much from Leo, it still might give you exactly what you need.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    While “Creation of the Gods I” is not yet a personal, let alone essential, series, you can see glimpses of the epic that director Wuershan has arguably been working his way up to since “The Butcher, the Chef, and the Swordsman,” his wildly uneven, but occasionally disarming 2010 breakthrough.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The main reason that Jawan doesn’t deliver more than what Khan’s previously delivered is because its creators seemingly included every masala-style sub-plot that they could think of.
    • 85 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The Beasts may not be realistic, but it is genuinely eerie.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    It’s just over 90 minutes long, but Streetwise still feels like an epic poem, shrunken down and sparingly polished for maximum effect.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    Eventually, this outstanding reboot’s most generic elements appear subordinate to the title character’s deranged, boyish, and sometimes romantic subjective reality.
    • 72 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    The bittersweet Korean drama Aloners works best when it’s a character study about an isolated thirtysomething’s behavior instead of whatever her creators think should be done about it.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Hypnotic may not be clever or energetic enough to keep your mind from wandering, but it is charming in its own stumbling way.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Ratnam and his collaborators stick the landing on their gargantuan pot-boiler, and while Krishnamurthy’s world may not look as grand as it seemed, either in the moviemakers’ heads or on the page, it is big enough to get lost in.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Yen doesn’t exactly swing for the fences here, but Sakra still lands exactly where its multi-hyphenate star needs it to.
    • 74 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Smoking Causes Coughing works because Dupieux’s already been here and done similar things before. This is just a superior collection of shaggy dog jokes.
    • 67 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Byun ultimately pulls too many punches, but Kill Boksoon remains impressive, if only for its unexpected sensitivity and considerable emotional range.
    • 79 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    More detailed critical or historical context might have enhanced director Amanda Kim’s already informative and loving portrait of Korean video artist Nam June Paik. But there’s so much in Kim’s movie—especially in actor Steven Yeun’s voiceover narration and talking head interviews with Paik’s colleagues and contemporaries—that this account of Paik’s working life still resonates.
    • 64 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    Thankfully, there's a considerable nasty streak that runs throughout Furies, and it isn't limited to the movie's antagonists.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    It’s schtickier and less assured than the first “Shazam!” but these leftovers still reheat well enough.
    • 75 Metascore
    • 88 Simon Abrams
    The corridors of power are narrow and spider-vein-thin in Full River Red but still well-traveled and precisely navigated by Zhang and his well-synchronized collaborators.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    While the first Children of the Corn was made on a reported budget of $800,000, it somehow doesn’t look as cheap as this new Children of the Corn, which eventually delivers just enough formulaic violence.
    • 81 Metascore
    • 63 Simon Abrams
    The climax of Godland feels conclusive in ways that the rest of Pálmason’s mystery play does not, making one wish that there was an extra hour or two between its beginning and the very end.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Knock at the Cabin does not disappoint. It’s a movie that reminds us why Shyamalan is one of contemporary cinema’s greatest alchemists and a prime example of a filmmaker at his best and boldest.
    • 56 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Somehow, The Wandering Earth II never feels tonally unbalanced or narratively convoluted, partly because Gwo and his collaborators keep their movie’s plot focused on feats of action-adventure heroism.
    • 62 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    It takes a moment for the action to start—about 38 minutes—but once it does, this otherwise generic thriller’s flimsy relevance and unusual pacing not only seem more forgivable but maybe even sneakily clever.
    • 84 Metascore
    • 100 Simon Abrams
    Higuchi and Anno not only deliver the genre movie goods but also deftly preserve their title character’s sugary purity. Rather than gigantify what was always juvenile material, Shin Ultraman allows the iconic character to retain his original shape and proportions. You and your dad are gonna love the new Ultraman movie.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 75 Simon Abrams
    Watching The Apology, one gets the sense that Locke and her team got to tell the exact story they wanted to and on their terms. Their drama has unusual integrity since it's (mostly) not about canned answers to complex questions.

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