Simon Abrams
Select another critic »For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
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40% higher than the average critic
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6% same as the average critic
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54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics.
(0-100 point scale)
Simon Abrams' Scores
- Movies
- TV
| Average review score: | 55 | |
|---|---|---|
| Highest review score: | Viet and Nam | |
| Lowest review score: | Zookeeper | |
Score distribution:
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Positive: 390 out of 854
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Mixed: 239 out of 854
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Negative: 225 out of 854
854
movie
reviews
- By Date
- By Critic Score
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- Simon Abrams
At minimum, “A Blind Bargain” will keep you scratching your head throughout, if not to ask yourself what it’s all about, then to wonder if maybe the filmmakers will eventually arrive somewhere unexpected. You can probably guess the answers to both questions, but maybe seeing for yourself will change your mind.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 24, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
If Lee Cronin’s The Mummy is like any of the director’s previous work, it’s most like Evil Dead Rises, since it’s also programmatically upsetting yet narratively threadbare to the point of distraction. And while this movie’s relentless, reflex-testing shock scares suggest that the filmmaker has a sense of humor, the audience is never really encouraged to laugh along with them.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Apr 16, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
While Thrash resembles a general-audience survival horror drama, its forgettable protagonists also frequently stop to reassure viewers—mostly through profanity-laced dialogue and occasional bursts of gore—that it’s okay to scoff at whatever they’re looking at.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Apr 10, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
Pretty Lethal doesn’t even fully take flight once it finally escapes the realm of good taste, though it does feature a handful of standout moments and images. You might scratch your head a few times, but you also may enjoy yourself if you only want the filmmakers to embrace their unhinged high-concept premise- The A.V. Club
- Posted Mar 24, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
More inarticulate than outright bad, I Can Only Imagine 2 re-packages a heap of barely legible dramatic and comedic shorthand as an uplifting testament to “the goodness of God.” It’s mostly inoffensive, but also doesn’t really have anything to say.- The A.V. Club
- Posted Feb 24, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
What’s mostly lacking is a matter of character-enhancing detail, the kind that would better integrate the movie’s high-concept thrills with its heartstring-tugging melodrama. Soapy’s not bad, but “This is Not a Test” lacks the sensationalism or sensitivity to make it more than a wan misfire.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 20, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
The worst thing about “Scare Out” isn’t that it’s boring and ultimately trite, but that there’s so little of Zhang’s usual sensuousness in it.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 18, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
Unfortunately, “Back to the Past” doesn’t really stand on its own, and its creators don’t know how to offer viewers anything new.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 30, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
Unfortunately, more bland than broad humor otherwise stands in for Polsky and Herzog’s personalities.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 9, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
Unlike its predecessor, “Troll 2” doesn’t have enough canned dramatic or comedic incidents to make it seem particularly eventful.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 1, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
While casting Glover as a reluctant everyman takes admirable chutzpah, there’s not much to “Mr. K” beyond its second-hand surrealism and strained counter-mythmaking.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 8, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
It’s a character-driven drama populated by sketchy characters who are mostly compelling thanks to the movie’s strong ensemble cast and Haugerud’s typically sensitive direction. So unfortunately, the suggestive power of Johanne’s journey fades as the movie slowly heads to its inconclusive finale.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Sep 12, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
Jimmy & Stiggs is a slick wallow into a cranked-up, self-destructive headspace that frequently over-compensates for what it lacks in plot and character development with sheer vigor and volume alone.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 15, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
The Banished, about a grieving woman’s search for her missing brother, sometimes feels like a compendium of modern horror movie clichés. That doesn’t always matter, since the movie is thick enough with dread to work despite its distracting familiarity.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 18, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
As it is, “The Gardener” suggests that Van Damme still doesn’t know how to both give his audience what they want and show off his range.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 6, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
Director Joshua Erkman shows promise throughout “A Desert,” his first feature, but his movie’s unyielding scenario, co-written with Bossi Baker, makes it hard to want to hang around while thinly drawn characters vaguely establish the movie’s themes.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 2, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
Judgmental and ungenerous, Alex’s story gives you enough answers to either tsk-tsk or nod sadly in response. The rest’s up to you, the viewer, which feels like a bit of a cop-out.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 14, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
Some genre-affirming twists and tropes throughout hint at a sharper genre parody that happens to be about a sympathetic young heroine. This isn’t that kind of movie. Sometimes, it just looks like something better.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 2, 2025
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- Simon Abrams
The filmmakers do what they can to compensate for their unlikely hero’s prevailing lack of charm and agency, but not even the combined forces of Lloyd Dobler and the Fab Four can bring a spike of joy to this DOA period drama.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 26, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
Some exciting moments are scattered throughout “Consumed,” but they’re never as compelling as the movie’s initial promise.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 16, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
This movie’s not frustrating because it’s blunt or vicious, but because its creators are only so interested in a world condemning Agnes to a dire fate. Her actions may ultimately be shocking, but her story is anything but.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 28, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
Both an overstimulated multimedia lecture and an anxiety-stoking conspiracy thriller, “The Grab” urges viewers to follow the money, look at the big picture, and so on.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 14, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
An unconvincing sequel to the 1994 original that’s basically the Scandinavian answer to recent trauma-minded American horror legacy-quels like “Halloween Ends” and “Scream VI.”- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 17, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
It’s not hard to see the appeal of “The Roundup: Punishment” given the technical polish and formulaic conventions that keep this series chugging along. But Lee still deserves better dialogue—“I made someone a promise. To punish you.”—and better jokes, too.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 3, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
Sting has a lot of the right ideas but not enough inspiration to string them all together.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 12, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
It’s not badly made, just uninspired and played out. If you like B-movies made with a budget and are specifically looking for an undemanding time, “Abigail” might be for you. “Abigail” might also disappoint you, especially if you’re hoping for more than what’s advertised.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 7, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
As it is, “Land of Bad” is a pandering drama with some action movie thrills.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 16, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
Writer/director Barnaby Clay successfully keeps viewers on our toes, even if a lot of his movie feels like a series of programmatic jabs at our complacence.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 26, 2024
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- Simon Abrams
Some people might enjoy a solitary clip from a Henry Rollins interview, as well as occasional anecdotes from “Rescue Dawn” star Christian Bale (another Batman!). Others might wonder why we’re watching a chaotic docu-salute to Herzog when we could be watching a Herzog movie instead.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Dec 4, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
Five Nights at Freddy’s has most of the right elements for a good post-Amblin kiddy fright-fest, except maybe good dialogue and distinct characters. Watching the movie, one gets the sense that the games’ morbid personality has been sanded down to its most generic jump-scares and banal revelations.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 27, 2023
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