Simon Abrams
Select another critic »For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
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40% higher than the average critic
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6% same as the average critic
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54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics.
(0-100 point scale)
Simon Abrams' Scores
- Movies
- TV
| Average review score: | 55 | |
|---|---|---|
| Highest review score: | Viet and Nam | |
| Lowest review score: | Zookeeper | |
Score distribution:
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Positive: 390 out of 854
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Mixed: 239 out of 854
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Negative: 225 out of 854
854
movie
reviews
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- Simon Abrams
More often than not, Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins is a dire checklist of clichés that were already gathering moss back in the 1980s, when G.I. Joe was a popular children’s cartoon.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 22, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
You never have to wonder or try to understand what the characters are feeling because they never stop telling you how to feel. The answer, invariably, is sad and fearful, but From Black is neither, really.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 28, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
Viewers are not privileged with a more thoughtful, specific view of the institutionalized problems that Sudanese natives face because Sauper's not interested in making that kind of film.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 14, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
A cynical, and consistently unpleasant film with creators who try very, very hard to push as many of your buttons as they can.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 22, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
Arizona might have worked better as a smart-ass social commentary if its tsk-tsking of consumerist myopia wasn't so consistently on the nose and its plot didn't swiftly devolve into slasher movie cliches.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 24, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Bleeding Steel is also unfortunately just one film in a string of lackluster globe-trotting action films that struggle to confirm Chan's decades-old self-image as a pop cultural ambassador.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 6, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
Some of the familiar and faithfully recreated twists and turns of the original “One Cut of the Dead” still land here, but not enough to make this leaden remake seem endearing or zany enough to pick through.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 14, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
Point and Shoot consequently feels like a film made by a storyteller — not a journalist — who doesn't know he can ask follow-up questions.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 31, 2014
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- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 2, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Emperor is lousy in the same way that many other mediocre slave narratives are: it re-presents a dark period in American history without being inspired or insightful enough to be worth your curiosity or emotional investment.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 19, 2020
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- Simon Abrams
Sleazy Australian kidnapping drama Hounds of Love will make you wish you were watching a more traditionally nihilistic horror film.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted May 12, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Gibney may encourage viewers to condemn the police, but his self-righteous editorializing doesn’t make up for the lack of convincing evidence.- Village Voice
- Posted Nov 9, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Oppressively bleak mood piece Alléluia is a horror film for people who like to be scared by a grim, joyless and thoroughly depressing character study.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 17, 2015
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- Simon Abrams
This might have been a better movie if its creators embraced their fitful bloodthirst. Instead, they seem to hope that you like these stock characters enough that you’ll gasp when their friends and enemies inevitably bite the dust. A machine to kill vague people, “Whistle” never delivers on its frightful promise.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 6, 2026
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- Simon Abrams
The canned British character study Mogul Mowgli disappoints on a few levels, especially given its admirable focus on authenticity and cultural identity in a kitchen-sink drama about Zed (Riz Ahmed), an aspiring British Pakistani rapper.- TheWrap
- Posted Sep 2, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
Lowe's attempts at getting into anti-heroine Ruth's head are largely unsuccessful, though her performance is sometimes effectively hysterical.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Mar 24, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Disappointing because its creators don't do anything interesting with a fairly novel theme: a mother's possessive love for her estranged daughter.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 3, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Granted, the movie does feature a few endearingly goofy scenes where Cage acts like Humphrey Bogart, with sweat on his brow, a stogie in his mouth, and a haughty putdown for anybody who makes eye contact with him. But he basically already did that in Paul Schrader’s underwhelming 2016 Ed Bunker adaptation “Dog Eat Dog.”- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 8, 2019
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- Village Voice
- Posted May 10, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
What makes The Vigil so frustrating is that it feels like a product and not a reflection of its subject’s identity crisis.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Feb 26, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
So often bogged down by pseudo-naturalistic long takes and generic cop/robber power dynamics that it makes one wonder what the point of watching such a film is.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Aug 10, 2018
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- Simon Abrams
The Conjuring is as toothless as it is because it's two different kinds of boring. The film's plot is explained exhaustively whenever loud noises aren't blaring, and random objects aren't teasingly leaping out at you from the corner of your eye.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jul 19, 2013
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- Simon Abrams
Poser might have been more satisfying if its gauzy night-club aesthetic and bold, underlined dialogue didn’t smother viewers with trite observations about hipster artistes.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 17, 2022
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- Simon Abrams
If you’re looking for meaning, humor, or comfort, you’d best not look for it here.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Nov 10, 2023
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- Simon Abrams
There are a lot of fragmentary ideas in The Real Thing, but they’re not cohesive or worthwhile as they’re loosely formed into one grey 232-minute lump.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jun 4, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
Psycho Goreman isn’t clever or lively enough to be more than fitfully fun, especially given how much time is spent mocking generic, but painstakingly recreated plot contrivances.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Jan 22, 2021
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- Simon Abrams
The Christmas-themed home-invasion movie Better Watch Out starts out as one kind of unpleasant, then switches gears to a higher level of unearned nastiness.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Oct 6, 2017
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- Simon Abrams
Gender inequality may be a potentially complicating factor when it comes to sexual trauma (i.e., men can also be abused by women), but that provocative conceit isn’t considered with much care or intelligence.- TheWrap
- Posted Oct 30, 2019
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- Simon Abrams
The film's rote right-makes-might fantasy wouldn't be so obnoxious if pandering to the lowest common denominator wasn't its default mode.- Village Voice
- Posted Oct 14, 2014
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- Simon Abrams
Generally speaking, the museum seems like a modest, but vividly-detailed freak show.- RogerEbert.com
- Posted Apr 18, 2014
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