For 854 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 40% higher than the average critic
  • 6% same as the average critic
  • 54% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 10.7 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Simon Abrams' Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 55
Highest review score: 100 Viet and Nam
Lowest review score: 0 Zookeeper
Score distribution:
854 movie reviews
    • tbd Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Joyless and dim, the grubby supernatural thriller “Vampires of the Velvet Lounge” often seems more like a filmed rehearsal for a movie than a fully completed feature.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    This might have been a better movie if its creators embraced their fitful bloodthirst. Instead, they seem to hope that you like these stock characters enough that you’ll gasp when their friends and enemies inevitably bite the dust. A machine to kill vague people, “Whistle” never delivers on its frightful promise.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Nothing in “Shelter” develops beyond the suggestion of an idea. A sleepy vehicle for action star Jason Statham, “Shelter” piles on cliches and expects viewers to supply enough goodwill to compensate for its shortcomings.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    This new holiday chiller mostly idles when it should charge at its most unsound ideas.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Kermani deserves credit for expanding on Hill’s story, which has a great premise, but not much else going for it.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    It’s hard enough to watch performers struggle to pump up thin material, even though the main cast’s members all seem capable of the physical business required of their roles. It’s harder to watch as the makers of this scrappy, low-budget production give away too much whenever they rely on effects-driven action or drama.
    • 20 Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Only Cage’s most diehard cultists will want to go to bat for this performance, and they could easily struggle to accentuate the positive. It’s manic, confounding, and gaspingly funny, too (for a moment), but boy, howdy, so what?
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    It’s hard to imagine who might enjoy this deliberately slow and often punishingly slack historical drama.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Sony’s latest Spidey yarn is a charmless stinker that’s only well-polished enough to make you resent the stench.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    A tepid situation comedy in indie drama drag, "The Black Sea" lacks a sense of urgency beyond a few moments of canned tension between Khalid and Georgi (Stoyo Mirkov), a haughty Bulgarian fisherman.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The makers of “Boy Kills World” don’t trust their audience enough to let us just feel a feeling, nor do they encourage their enthusiastic cast members enough to deliver fully-developed performances.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    More is often less in “Rebel Moon—Part 2: The Scargiver,” not only when it comes to the movie’s sweaty, vein-activating performances, but also its over-exaggerated and under-choreographed action scenes.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Besson’s extra-schlocky sensibilities seem ideally suited to his star, but he never gives Jones anything worth showing off.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    A couple of pedal-to-the-floor melodramatic twists suggest that “Founders Days” might’ve been a bolder or just meaner genre movie, but its toothless satire, like its timid horror drama, sadly doesn’t cut it.
    • 31 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    “Rebel Moon” often looks more like an animated pitch for a movie than an actual movie with human characters, urgent drama, emotional stakes, and so forth.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    There’s not enough cold sweat ambience here, and that makes it even harder to root for a modestly budgeted chiller whose creators clearly started their project from a place of cinephilic affection. Even sympathetic genre fans will have trouble finding something new about such old hat material.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    If you’re looking for meaning, humor, or comfort, you’d best not look for it here.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 12 Simon Abrams
    Night of the Hunted might have been a productively grim exercise if it didn’t feel like Alice’s dilemma wasn’t just a pretext for more ostensibly shocking talking points.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Whatever promise the “V/H/S” horror anthology franchise started with is barely present in V/H/S/85, a low-energy potboiler that promises to transport genre fans back to the analog past for some reason.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Eventually, the lack of werewolf-related carnage is the least concerning thing about My Animal.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    The Icelandic/German conspiracy thriller Operation Napoleon would be as comforting as its airport thriller plot if it weren’t also baggy, joyless, and spiritually depleting.
    • 30 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Fear the Night often feels like it was made by artists who understand the type of movie that they’re making but maybe don’t really care enough about making it, either as a by-the-numbers genre exercise or a repudiation of its fans and their need for pseudo-enlightened catharsis.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Some of the familiar and faithfully recreated twists and turns of the original “One Cut of the Dead” still land here, but not enough to make this leaden remake seem endearing or zany enough to pick through.
    • 59 Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    Rather than dig into what’s specifically changing about their relationship, Duplass and Eslyn focus on armchair psychology and black-box speeches to explain away what’s really going on with these two men.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    There are hints of a deeper movie here, but the one on-screen sticks too closely to stories and ideas we already know.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Killing bigots is a fine enough pretext for this sort of watered-down post-grindhouse entertainment, but if you’re honestly going to go there, you can’t stop til you’re past the point of apology.
    • 27 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Between underwhelming action scenes and draining expository dialogue, Assassin Club often leaves its cast out to dry.
    • tbd Metascore
    • 38 Simon Abrams
    You never have to wonder or try to understand what the characters are feeling because they never stop telling you how to feel. The answer, invariably, is sad and fearful, but From Black is neither, really.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    Some high-concept set pieces rise above shoddy execution and creative mismanagement, particularly any wire stunts involving helicopters, byplanes, or rocket-powered jet packs.
    • 46 Metascore
    • 25 Simon Abrams
    It’s a plodding, vague fantasy about the way things could be that gets interrupted by a rote chase/body count pic.

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