Robert Wilonsky

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Dallas Observer, New Times (L.A.), Village Voice
For 397 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 31% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 67% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 15.8 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Robert Wilonsky's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 50
Highest review score: 100 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Lowest review score: 0 Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 133 out of 397
  2. Mixed: 145 out of 397
  3. Negative: 119 out of 397
397 movie reviews
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    • 52 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Rat Race
    There's nothing more enervating than a stupid film with only random, and perhaps accidental, flashes of smarts; the rare prescient moments only serve to highlight how banal and vacant the rest of the movie is, especially when it stoops to conquer the gross-out market bled dry by the Farrelly Brothers and their myriad acolytes.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Merci Docteur Rey
    Andrew Litvack, whose inability to direct is outweighed only by his inability to write anything remotely witty, enlightening, or engaging. Calling this a farce would be, well, a farce.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    National Treasure
    Isn't any fun at all, which is ultimately the most damning thing you can say about a Bruckheimer movie.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
    No one is more blameworthy than Witherspoon...With her newfound clout and charm, she could make better films; instead, she strolls up to the audience standing in line at the ATM and demands we fork it over or else.
    • 24 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    The Suburbans
    So utterly awful, you're tempted to build a time machine, then go back in history and try to make sure Ward's parents never meet.
    • 50 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Shaft
    Singleton's version is cynical and silly--one long set-up to a closing scene that promises, or threatens, a sequel.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
    Who wants to pay to see a movie so bad the actors and writer-director feel the need to keep reminding us of how bad it is?
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Event Horizon
    It's too bad, then, that Anderson (whose only other major credit is "Mortal Kombat," but of course) and first-time screenwriter Philip Eisner felt so compelled to do away with suspense and turn Event Horizon into a big-budget slasher film.
    • 34 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Mission to Mars
    One can only assume all the, ah, good stuff landed on the cutting-room floor, because it sure as hell didn't make it to Mars.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Robert Wilonsky
    Little Nicky
    Little Nicky will redefine the phrase "worst movie ever," because it might actually be the worst movie ever.
    • 29 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Johnson Family Vacation
    The entire enterprise was directed by first-timer Christopher Erskin like a would-be Max Bialystock; one can only assume it's supposed to be this bad, because nobody sucks this hard on accident.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Along Came a Spider
    Deadly dull thriller.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Sweet Home Alabama
    Which leaves Witherspoon, that delicious pastry, to heave the movie on her small shoulders and carry it home. The load is light -- the movie weighs no more than a glass of flat champagne -- but even she can't withstand the burden.
    • New Times (L.A.)
    • 34 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    On the Line
    This pallid little ditty, like the rest of Lance Bass and pals' oeuvre, is soulless, banal and derivative.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Dickie Roberts: Former Child Star
    When the movie's not playing stupid, it's aiming for sickly sweet sincerity. It's such a jarring and inevitably juvenile juxtaposition it comes off like a Hallmark card parody written by the staffers at "Cracked."
    • 29 Metascore
    • 0 Robert Wilonsky
    How High
    Just when it looked like "Not Another Teen Movie" might claim the crap crown comes this stoner's tale.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    America's Sweethearts
    Obnoxious, transparent cornball comedy.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Gone in Sixty Seconds
    It's barely a movie at all, more like a thousand car commercials spliced together in an hour.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Cold Creek Manor
    Deafeningly dull movie.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 0 Robert Wilonsky
    Martin Lawrence Live: Runteldat
    Not strong enough to stomach this leather-clad jerk-off session, which Miramax dumped onto Paramount in a rare case of common sense.
    • New Times (L.A.)
    • 48 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Final
    Final is one big hunh? barely worth the effort; just because it doesn't make any sense doesn't mean it's art.
    • 35 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    Rumor Has It...
    Stay away: Everything about the movie is rinky-dink, from its phony, lifeless dialogue to its drab, shabby sitcom look to its choppy editing, all of which can wear on you after 95 minutes that come to feel like an eternity.
    • 32 Metascore
    • 0 Robert Wilonsky
    Not Another Teen Movie
    It took five men to concoct the hackneyed plot and conceive the brainless jokes that constitute Not Another Teen Movie, meaning there are five men in Los Angeles right now still trying to wash that stink off their soft, idle hands.
    • 47 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Herbie Fully Loaded
    To damn Herbie: Fully Loaded as soporific crap, as lazy profiteering, as yet another needless and cynical remake in a season populated by such con artists, would be as pointless as the movie itself.
    • 16 Metascore
    • 10 Robert Wilonsky
    The Learning Curve
    The movie's all flash and formula, as original as the letter A, especially when it collapses in a dung heap of gunfire and corpses.
    • 73 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Love & Basketball
    A film built upon transitions so weak and obvious it's astonishing the entire thing doesn't collapse on itself.
    • 55 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    I Heart Huckabees
    Russell, a former student of Buddhist monk-philosopher Robert Thurman's, is reaching too far, straining too hard, saying too much that adds up to so little after all the mumbos and jumbos tallied up by film's end.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
    Has all the charm of a canceled CBS sitcom.
    • 22 Metascore
    • 20 Robert Wilonsky
    Saving Silverman
    Every movie Dugan releases looks like something made on accident--tosses yet another stink bomb into theaters for audiences to sniff over.
    • 83 Metascore
    • 30 Robert Wilonsky
    Adaptation.
    The most overrated movie of the year (of all time?) by people who should know better.
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