Phil Hall

About as funny as a funeral.

The single worst Shakespeare film ever made.

A noisy, chaotic affair.

After sitting through this movie, you will want to throw something more pungent than rice at The Groomsmen.

Typical of too many films produced in Israel: plodding, verbose, badly-made and completely monotonous.

Small, amateurish Israeli feature.

Zhang Yimou is seriously off his game with the utterly ridiculous Curse of the Golden Flower, a new epic that feels like "Hero" meets "The Lion in Winter" meets "Peyton Place." The film is worthless as a serious work of art, but it may offer the jaded viewer a surplus source of MST3K-inspired wisecracks.

A thoroughly awful Korean production which vainly attempts to recast the slam-bang conventions of American action-adventure flicks into the sticky world of contemporary Korean politics.

Valeria Bertucelli and Ingrid Rubio as Elena and Natalia barely register for the camera, either in their adult incarnations or as the mod teens of 1975 Argentina.

Clooney has littered his film with such a high quantity of mistakes that it is hard to know where exactly to begin finding fault.

London is the independent film world's equivalent of a fiasco.

Fans of prison flicks would do better to catch the HBO series "Oz" or the five millionth rebroadcast of "The Shawshank Redemption."

With a clumsy hip-hop score permeating every free inch of the soundtrack and ugly 16mm cinematography that would never be allowed out of Film School 101, the audio-visual experience is a wreck. The quality of Quality of Life is non-existent.

Such garbage that taking a shower at the Bates Motel is a more appealing alternative.

Inert, inept epic.

About as much fun as a grouchy ayatollah in a cold mosque.

Painfully boring.

Chicago is a failure, but that should not come as a surprise. Bob Fosse, who directed and choreographed the original 1975 Broadway production, was long baffled in making a film of the show and eventually gave up trying.

If Dogville has a reason for importance, it is the astonishing all-star ensemble who try very hard to put life into their cardboard characters and make this silly film work.

Reconfigured into a very different one-woman movie by Gibson and director Jeremy Kagan. Unfortunately, the transformation was not successful.

The Quiet is best for cheap laughs by jaded moviegoers with absolutely nothing better to do with their time.

Such a hopeless mess that there's no fun in tossing insults at its endless shortcomings.

Nothing more than a big old chunk of horse poop.

The primary problem with “Rabbit Test” was that it was based on a hoary one-joke concept – in this case, a man becomes pregnant. But Rivers had no clue how to take the concept and expand it into a flowing, coherent comedy script.

The film is professionally made but a thorough bore at every imaginable level.

An Inconvenient Truth is something you rarely see in movies today: a blatant intellectual fraud. Shame on all of the people involved in this travesty.

An astonishing mess.

Easily the most surprising comedy of his career. The surprise: it's not funny.