Lou Lumenick

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New York Post
For 2,489 reviews, this critic has graded:
  • 46% higher than the average critic
  • 2% same as the average critic
  • 52% lower than the average critic
On average, this critic grades 9.4 points lower than other critics. (0-100 point scale)

Lou Lumenick's Scores

  • Movies
  • TV
Average review score: 56
Highest review score: 100 The Band Wagon
Lowest review score: 0 Dirty Cop No Donut
Score distribution:
  1. Positive: 1,242 out of 2489
  2. Mixed: 549 out of 2489
  3. Negative: 698 out of 2489
2489 movie reviews
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    • 45 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Chasing Mavericks
    The surfing sequences are some of the best I've ever seen in a film, and the re-creation of Jay's climactic battle to ride El Nino-driven waves is real white-knuckle stuff...But neither Curtis Hanson ("L.A. Confidential") nor the fellow veteran director who replaced him when Hanson took ill, Michael Apted ("Gorillas in the Mist"), can do much with the hokey sequences on land.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Bootmen
    There's 80 minutes of mawkish, overacted melodrama - laced with gratuitous violence and profanity - before we get to anything more than the briefest snippet of a dance number.
    • New York Post
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Incredible Burt Wonderstone
    Steve Carell is fatally miscast as an arrogant, flamboyant third-rate magician in The Incredible Burt Wonderstone, which by all rights should have been a second-rate Will Ferrell vehicle.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Boys Life 3
    Worthwhile mainly because of "Inside Out," a 28-minute autobiographical film written, directed and starring Jason Gould, who not-so-incidentally is Barbra Streisand's son.
    • New York Post
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Oz the Great and Powerful
    Save your money and wait for the new 3-D version of the 1939 classic that Warner Bros. has promised for later this year.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Joyful Noise
    Latifah, a formidable actress who's almost always better than her movies, easily dominates this hokey cross between "Glee'' and "Sister Act.''
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Coming Soon
    Too crude for serious audiences and too serious to be good exploitation, Coming Soon is a teen sex comedy that's predictably getting a token theatrical release prior to its imminent debut on home video.
    • New York Post
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Love Punch
    Manages to be excruciatingly unfunny despite the presence of Pierce Brosnan and Emma Thompson in the lead roles.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    The Closer You Get
    Goes down as smoothly as a pint of Irish ale.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Code
    A boring and violent French crime thriller, is the sort of routine potboiler that generally goes straight to video in this country, if it's seen at all.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Love & Sex
    Generally rises above the easy clichés you find in most such movies.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Pearl Harbor
    Unfortunately, the bulk of the three-hour epic is third-rate schmaltz that pays only lip service to history.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Rapture-Palooza
    Silly enough for you? Did I mention that the immortal Ken Jeong of “The Hangover’’ plays God, who gets mighty pissed when hubby accidentally shoots Jesus out of the sky?
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Sympathy for Delicious
    Interesting but never compelling.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Peter and Vandy
    You know a low-budget indie has problems when it's less emotionally honest than a studio-backed project like "(500) Days."
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Two Weeks
    A low-key Field is the best thing about Two Weeks, which is set in a Wilmington, N.C., where everyone mysteriously sounds like he just got off a Los Angeles freeway.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Hostage
    An unrelenting assault on the brain and eardrums.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Man of the Century
    Grows tiresome rather quickly.
    • New York Post
    • 44 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Delivery Man
    Delivery Man trades the abrasive comedian’s trademark snark for schmaltz — an experiment that actually works better than you’d guess.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Faster
    Despite much effort, neither Johnson nor director George Tillman Jr. ("Notorious") can make this preposterous tale, live up to its title.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Center of the World
    It certainly has its moments (erotic and otherwise), but there just aren't enough of them.
    • New York Post
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Kikujirô no natsu
    Beautiful camerawork, some interesting scenes, but extraordinarily slow.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Funny Games (2008)
    The joke is on arthouse audiences who show up for Funny Games, which is basically torture porn every bit as manipulative and reprehensible as "Hostel," even if it's tricked out with intellectual pretension.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Walking with the Enemy
    Walking with the Enemy may not be another “Schindler’s List” (Ben Kingsley has a small but important role as Hungary’s deposed regent) but it’s handsomely photographed (A-list vet Dean Cundey) in Romania and a compelling addition to the Shoah canon.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Gaudi Afternoon
    Beautifully photographed and fitfully amusing, Gaudi Afternoon would be an impressive film from a first-timer, but Seidelman is experienced enough to know she should have told the actors not to camp things up so excessively.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Head of State
    The sloppily shot, crudely edited Head of State fails as satire, for starters, because of its utter disconnect from any kind of reality.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Into the Storm
    The found-footage disaster flick Into the Storm is “Twister’’ for dummies, but by no means is that an insult. The new film is enormous fun if you’re in the right mood.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    The Raven
    In the skilled hands of Cusack - who recites quite a bit of Poe's poetry - and director John McTeigue ("V for Vendetta''), it's good pulpy fun.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Hangover Part II
    I found this more elaborate, play-it-safe sequel far less fresh or funny.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Ring Two
    Borrowing liberally from the "Exorcist" and "Omen" movies, and with little regard for credibility, The Ring Two has a familiar ring to it.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    The Caveman's Valentine
    Holds less water as a mystery because its plot holes - and choppy pacing - make it seem as disconnected from reality as its hero. But Jackson is so frighteningly effective, and affecting, as Romulus that you're sucked in anyway.
    • New York Post
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Smiling Fish & Goat on Fire
    Much less a satisfying movie than an intermittently funny 90-minute acting audition.
    • New York Post
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    American Cannibal: The Road to Reality
    The ineptly made Animal Cannibal isn't remotely convincing as reality, and worse, isn't remotely entertaining as fiction.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice
    While “300" maestro Snyder puts together some very striking scenes — which may be enough for many fanboys — they never really cohere into a whole. He literally throws in the kitchen sink in a film that frantically introduces characters and concepts while never clearly establishing the rules of the DC Comics universe.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Chandni Chowk to China
    Fun but somewhat exhausting.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Village
    Pours on creepy atmosphere, but this dud is too intent on delivering its liberal "message" to actually deliver the kinds of scares it promises in the terrific trailer.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
    Doesn't have nearly enough Hugh Grant and is a little short on laughs, but it gets by on Renée Zellweger's charms.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Jobs
    Jobs amounts to, at best, a Cliffs Notes version of the man’s early life. If you want the real story, you’ll have to read Walter Isaacson’s fascinating 2011 biography, which would make a much better film than this one.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Southland Tales
    If a more incoherent and self-indulgent movie has been released so far this century, I'm not aware of it.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    The Operator
    The performances are so solid - and newcomer Jon Dichter's direction (he also wrote the script) is so utterly assured - that the rather contrived ending barely seems to detract from the film's entertainment value.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Snow Falling on Cedars
    The year's most beautiful movie -- and surely one of the dullest.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    America's Sweethearts
    Surprisingly funny and sweet, despite some missed comic opportunities and curious casting choices.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Steve + Sky
    HUGELY tedious and mostly incomprehensible.
    • 44 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    The Wendell Baker Story
    Slight but consistently entertaining.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    San Andreas
    Oblivious to both narrative logic and the laws of physics, the cliché-filled San Andreas doesn’t nearly have the star power of earlier, better disaster movies it borrows from like “The Poseidon Adventure,” “Earthquake” and “The Towering Inferno.”
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Tempest
    A surprisingly unengaging and charmless fantasy from a director whose previous films ("Across the Universe," "Titus," "Frida") were, despite their other issues, never boring.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Mexican
    Gandolfini, who skillfully fleshes out what's written as a one-joke character, comes close to pilfering The Mexican from the stars. Under the circumstances, that's not a huge accomplishment.
    • New York Post
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Angry Birds Movie
    Smartphone apps don’t particularly lend themselves well to political allegory or satire. But that’s precisely what the makers of this fitfully amusing animated adaptation of the once-popular game seem to be fruitlessly attempting.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Le Chef
    Roughly a more broadly comic French version of John Favreau’s “Chef,’’ this film stars veteran Jean Reno as a longtime celebrity chef who may lose control of his Paris restaurant because the young new CEO thinks he’s old toque.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Zizek!
    Hyperactive.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Shaggy Dog
    Who let this dog out?
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Light It Up
    Light It Up would be a strong candidate for the year's most irresponsible movie - if it were remotely believable.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Anything Else
    This relentlessly mediocre romantic comedy is basically a pretty arthritic third-generation Xerox of "Annie Hall," with Jason Biggs and Christina Ricci in the old Allen and Keaton parts in a probably quixotic attempt to court the youth market.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Redemption
    Nothing in Redemption quite adds up, including the paranoid hero’s insistence that he’s being watched by drones.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Sherman's Way
    Coming-of-age road trips have rarely been more tedious or predictable.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Dear John
    Dear John is the sort of movie that gives tearjerkers a bad name.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Freedomland
    With Roth at the helm of a script attributed to Price, there is minimal suspense, audience involvement or coherent social commentary.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Home Room
    Ryan's heart is definitely in the right place and his film has good performances and flashes of talent. But, overall, it plays like the world's longest — over two hours -- after-school special.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Meet Dave
    Murphy has fallen back into the comfortable rut of sloppy family comedies that are low on laughs and high on toilet jokes.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Gardens of the Night
    Tom Arnold plays the fatherly head of a child-prostitution ring and John Malkovich a sympathetic social worker - two clever casting twists that constitute the main interest in the grueling Gardens of the Night.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    BookWars
    In monotonous narration, Rosette rants that the vendors' right to free speech should allow them to obstruct sidewalks, but the portrait of his subculture is so vaguely rendered, it will likely put audiences to sleep rather than change minds.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Cleopatra's Second Husband
    One of those potentially interesting movies that takes its sweet time getting to the point - by which time many audience members will likely have bailed out or dozed off.
    • New York Post
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    American Wedding
    Some gut-busting moments, but for the most part the thrill is gone.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Frozen
    Relies far too much on an overdose of gore and a pack of hungry wolves to deliver its chills.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Steal Me
    Solid performances can't save Melissa Painter's pretentious teen drama Steal Me, which plays like a cross between "Dangerous Skin" (without the gay sex) and "Picnic" (without the production values or credible situations).
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Eternal
    Fairly sexy and stylish. Alas, it's also quite silly and not especially scary.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Trust the Man
    A better than adequate date movie.
    • 65 Metascore
    • 88 Lou Lumenick
    In the Valley of Elah
    Theron is very good as a woman struggling for respect in a sexist environment. There are also small but telling performances by Susan Sarandon as Hank's worried wife, and Frances Fisher as a topless bartender who aids in the investigation.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Spread
    A witless homage to "Shampoo" and "American Gigolo" that's brain-dead on arrival.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Final Cut
    It's not a bad premise for a movie, but writer-director Omar Naim, a 26-year-old Lebanese native making his feature debut, proves equally inept at handling plotting, actors and pacing.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Recess: School's Out
    A reasonably entertaining cartoon feature.
    • New York Post
    • 46 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    El cantante
    A sizzling soundtrack and Jennifer Lopez's best performance since "Out of Sight" go only so far in El Cantante, a downer of a musical biopic that leaves no cliché unturned.
    • 43 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Donkey Punch
    A female revenge movie. But you could just as easily characterize it as fairly well-executed exploitation.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    G
    This poorly acted, directed and written (but slick-looking) vanity project was produced by Andrew Lauren (Ralph's son also ineptly plays G's major-domo) and shot at least four years ago.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Bones
    A silly, boring supernatural thriller that squanders a potentially interesting premise and the rapper Snoop Dogg in his ostensible starring debut.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Big Bounce
    That The Big Bounce works at all is a testament to Wilson, an Oscar-nominated screenwriter ("The Royal Tenenbaums") who probably could have come up with something better in his sleep.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Family Man
    Beyond the cliched diaper-changing scenes and the oh-so-predictable romantic complications, the film inadvertently insults its presumed target audience.
    • New York Post
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Wet Hot American Summer
    Mostly it fails to score. Maybe that's why no one has attempted summer-camp comedy since the third "Meatballs" sequel a decade ago.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Divergent Series: Insurgent
    You know you’re in for a long haul when Kate Winslet’s clipboard-wielding Jeanine, leader of the Erudite faction, comes off less like a Hillary Clinton than a weary Applebee’s supervisor at the end of a 14-hour shift in this plodding sequel to “Divergent.”
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Home of the Brave
    The apolitical and well-meaning Home of the Brave is predictable and maudlin.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Love the Hard Way
    Wildly uneven romantic drama.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Daredevil
    Mind-numbing, would-be comic-book franchise, which often seems as blind as its hero -- not to mention deaf and dumb.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Transcendence
    Lethargic direction, bland visuals, credulity-straining plotting and tin-eared dialogue turn even pros like Rebecca Hall, Paul Bettany and Morgan Freeman into sleepwalking bores.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Ironclad
    A long way from his TV portrayal of John Adams, Giamatti seems to be having an especially good time as a splenetic King John, who would not be out of place in a Monty Python movie.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Gun Shy
    This low-caliber Gun Shy has singularly ugly cinematography by Tom Richmond that at one point shows off Bullock's facial hair.
    • New York Post
    • 42 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Superstar
    The funniest "SNL" movie since "Wayne's World."
    • 71 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    WTC the First 24 Hours
    A verité collage of indelible images Sauret collected in and around Ground Zero, beginning moments after the planes hit the World Trade Center.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Two Weeks Notice
    Evokes such deja vu, you'd swear you'd already fallen asleep on the damned thing in the middle of the night on HBO.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Psycho Beach Party
    Charles Busch's spoof of beach-party movies and psychological thrillers, an off-Broadway hit 13 years ago, stubbornly refuses to entertain in this unrelentingly dull film version.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Jackass: The Movie
    To call Jackass: The Movie the worst movie of the year is practically a compliment. This plotless, crudely videotaped collection of moronic stunts is a movie in the same sense that those hideous, velvet depictions of Elvis are paintings.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Parker
    Parker is watchable chiefly for Statham, who exudes effortless cool and excels in hand-to-hand combat, as well as demonstrating his skill at wielding some very unlikely weapons.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Bicentennial Man
    The once-funny Robin Williams is still stuck in his excruciating touchy-feely mode.
    • New York Post
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Girlfriend
    By far the best scenes are shared by Sneider and his struggling but devoted mother, played by the seldom-seen Amanda Plummer.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Mystery Team
    There is only one joke here, milked endlessly.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Queen of the Lot
    A sloppy vanity project, this rambling and toothless Hollywood black comedy stars veteran filmmaker Henry Jaglom's girlfriend, Tanna Frederick.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Cold Turkey
    Tiresome cavalcade of bickering — which feels like it lasts even longer than your typical Thanksgiving dinner.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Transformers: Dark of the Moon
    Director Michael Bay, Hollywood's answer to the Antichrist, isn't primarily interested in your soul, though his movie does a pretty effective job of sucking that away (and sucking, in general).
    • 42 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    The Perfect Game
    The film's flaws probably won't bother less jaded kids one whit.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Mental
    The hippie heroine of this wacky Aussie comedy cheerfully theorizes that Australia was actually originally settled not by convicts but by mental patients — which may possibly explain the antics of Russell Crowe and Nicole Kidman, among others.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
    Seems to go on for several days and nights, though in fact it lasts just 105 minutes. I checked my watch. A lot.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Next
    Next, which makes "National Treasure" look like a model of narrative logic, is almost beyond criticism.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Celsius 41.11: The Temperature at Which the Brain... Begins to Die
    The first conservative documentary to join the bumper crop of liberal political films riding Michael Moore's coattails into theaters.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Take Me Home Tonight
    A tediously unfunny comedy.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Godspeed
    Quite a slog, with most of the acting strictly amateurish save the veteran Ed Lauter as a fish and game inspector.
    • 42 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker
    This lame teenage James Bond will leave audiences neither shaken nor stirred.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Jailbait
    I wouldn't have thought it was possible to make a prison picture as utterly boring as Jailbait.
    • 53 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Ella Enchanted
    An ugly-looking mismash of a fairytale.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
    With cheesy-looking effects including a ride on the backs of giant bees and dubious literary references, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island comes dangerously close to giving books, never mind 3-D, a bad name.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Larry Crowne
    If you're looking for a movie you can take your parents or young children to without fear of embarrassment or the need for endless explanations, this is the one.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Milwaukee, Minnesota
    Never-quite-believable crime drama.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Godzilla 2000
    Heck, it's great to have the big guy back.
    • New York Post
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    What a Girl Wants
    Harmless, fish-out-of-water fluff.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Mambo italiano
    You don't have to be gay or Italian or live in Canada to enjoy Mambo Italiano, but a tolerance for ethnic mugging helps.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Little Ashes
    An exceedingly silly historical fantasy.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Purge
    After a wickedly promising start, this pointed political satire quickly deteriorates into a fairly routine, if sporadically quite effective, home-invasion thriller.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Never Been Thawed
    This painfully unfunny mockumentary about obsessive collectors of frozen-food entrees takes potshots at anti-abortionists, Christian rockers, aversion therapy for gays and the disabled -- and misses almost every time.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Dragon Blade
    Daniel Lee’s elaborate Chinese historical action epic Dragon Blade certainly gets points for creative casting, as well as its gorgeous widescreen visuals.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Simpatico
    A non-starter.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Two Ninas
    Should have gone straight to video. It'll be there soon enough.
    • New York Post
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Meet the Fockers
    It says a lot about the sequel that the funniest moment belongs to none of the big stars, but to Owen Wilson.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Jesus Henry Christ
    Even for a surreal black comedy, Jesus Henry Christ requires massive suspension of disbelief.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Stay
    A trite, incoherent and pretentious bomb.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Freshman Orientation
    Crude and cheerfully sophomoric teen sex comedy.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Yes Nurse! No Nurse!
    A campy, brightly colored musical comedy.
    • 63 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    The Lincoln Lawyer
    It goes down as smoothly as a milkshake thanks to an impressive cast.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Pompeii
    A campy guilty pleasure that serves up a “Gladiator’’ knockoff as an appetizer to the impressively flame-filled main course.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Lucky
    Alas, the complications don't arrive nearly quickly enough for the overlong and slow-paced Lucky to really cook.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Limits of Control
    This is one of those movies that's too cool to have a plot.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    What Planet Are You From?
    It's still easily the funniest movie of the year.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Death of a Dynasty
    A mockumentary that veers unsteadily between satire and an infomercial for Dash's Roc-A-Fella records.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Salton Sea
    A truly baffling late entry in the "Pulp Fiction" sweepstakes that ends up drowning in its own pretensions -- along with, quite possibly, what's left of Val Kilmer's movie career.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Dancing at the Blue Iguana
    You'd be better off renting Demi Moore's "Striptease."
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Chappie
    “Short Circuit” meets “RoboCop” — with asides to “WALL-E,” “E.T.,” “The Road Warrior” and many other better movies — in Chappie, an interminable, violent, incoherent and wearying R-rated sci-fi action comedy.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Wild Target
    An eccentric little comic thriller filled with enough laughs that I was mostly willing to overlook the fact that it makes virtually no sense as a thriller.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Quiet Ones
    Veteran screenwriter John Pogue, in his second directorial outing, tries repeatedly and mostly unsuccessfully to jolt his audience by amping up the abundant sound effects to ear-shattering levels.
    • 41 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Darling Companion
    While it's not a disaster like Kasdan's last film, "Dreamcatcher'' (2003), Darling Companion doesn't amount to much more than a fairly painless way for the AARP set to spend an hour and a half watching a movie with stars their own age.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    X
    Ignore the furiously overplotted, headache-inducing story -- derived from a series of comic books -- and focus on the exquisitely drawn Japanese animation.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Hunted
    The only prize this shamelessly derivative schlock is likely to be in the running for is the year's dullest thriller.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Some Body
    The best thing about Some Body -- an amateurish, quasi-improvised acting exercise shot on ugly digital video -- is that it's all over in 80 minutes.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Invisible Circus
    Yet another murky film about the 1970s that's watchable mostly for its cast rather than the story.
    • New York Post
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Gangster Squad
    A cartoonish 1940s shoot-'em-up that's impossible to take seriously.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Beer League
    The sort of lowbrow sports comedy best enjoyed on a 50-inch screen with a six-pack, a bucket of wings and a fast-forward button.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Evolution
    Somewhat refreshingly aspiring to be nothing more than a disposable summer popcorn movie, this is a flick that delivers more smiles than laughs and has some wonderful special effects.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    The Perfect Family
    Make no mistake, though: The Perfect Family is Kathleen Turner's show. And when a series of crises forces Eileen to re-examine her values and beliefs, Turner rises magnificently to the occasion.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Return to Nuke 'Em High Volume 1
    Imagine the French lesbian romance “Blue Is the Warmest Color’’ as a raunchy American exploitation flick with loads of fake gore. That’s a rough idea of the latest from Lloyd Kaufman, the exuberant shockmeister whose Troma Team is celebrating its 40th anniversary this year.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Igor
    Molly Shannon is dementedly charming as Eva.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Here Comes the Boom
    Low on raunch but even lower on laughs. It also looks like half the lighting crew failed to show up.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Amy
    The sort of heart-tugger a small group of people will love passionately.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Phantom of the Opera
    Crashing chandelier, crashing bore.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Monkeybone
    An occasionally delightful mess of a movie.
    • New York Post
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Tanner Hall
    A great-looking but wearyingly cliched and confusing vanity production.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Paris 36
    A gleaming hunk of French period schmaltz expertly rendered by director Christophe Barratier.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Phantom
    Todd Robinson’s Phantom gives us a couple of things we haven’t seen in a while: the great Ed Harris and a Cold War submarine thriller. It’s not something you want to plunk down $12 for, but just diverting enough to check out when it arrives on Netflix Instant.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Fantastic Four
    A perfect storm of wooden acting, hackneyed direction, inane scripting and laughably cartoonish special effects produces a shapeless mess more wearyingly stupid than arch-villian Dr. Doom is evil.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Deliver Us From Evil
    Expertly serves shivers, buckets of gore — and pretty much every cliché of the genre.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Sleepwalking
    Relentlessly depressing.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Alexander
    As huge a travesty and a bore as 1956's "Alexander the Great," in which Richard Burton looked equally uncomfortable as a blond.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Scary Movie 4
    Scary Movie 4 concludes by satirizing Cruise's couch-jumping orgy on "Oprah." Funny, but nowhere near as hilarious as the real thing.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    National Treasure
    Sort of "The Da Vinci Code for Dummies."
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Shrink
    Starts promisingly, but Jonas Pate directs his fine cast straight into a swamp of schmaltz as every loose thread of plot gets patly resolved.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Margaret Cho: Assassin
    Though Cho occasionally connects with her targets, more often than not she seems as intolerant and hate-filled as she accuses them of being - and that's not funny.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Sisters
    Pretentious, stagy and over-the-top update of Chekov's "The Three Sisters."
    • 40 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Beautiful Creatures
    Moves at a swift clip with pungent performances.
    • New York Post
    • 40 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Wild Card
    A better cast this time around — Michael Angarano, Milo Ventimiglia, Sofía Vergara and Max Casella, with cameos by Jason Alexander, Stanley Tucci and Hope Davis — tries to breathe life into Goldman’s cliché-ridden plot.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Jupiter Ascending
    An instant candidate for the so-bad-it’s-sort-of-great hall of fame, Jupiter Ascending is totally bonkers, a sort of black-velvet-Elvis mash-up of “Star Wars’’ and every other sci-fi/fantasy movie of the past half-century right up to “The Hunger Games.”
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Day the Earth Stood Still
    One of the big problems here is that, despite much exposition, the nature of Klaatu's mission on Earth isn't at all clear.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Duets
    The talented cast doesn't stand much of a chance in this rambling, pointless narrative.
    • New York Post
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Cell
    Generic variation on the overworked serial-killer genre.
    • New York Post
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Ash Wednesday
    Ambitious, guilt-suffused melodrama crippled by poor casting.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing & Charm School
    Overall it's got two left feet - and charm is in dangerously short supply.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Beastly
    More than lives up to its name with ultra-campy performances, high-glucose direction, laughable dialogue, cheesy effects and a back-lot simulation of a Manhattan street that wouldn't pass muster on an after-school special.
    • 40 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    X-Men Origins: Wolverine
    There's no shortage of "wow" moments, but the strong liberal political subtext of the trilogy has largely disappeared.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Green Lantern
    Blake Lively doesn't have a whole lot to do as Hal's employer and occasional lover, who sometimes requires rescuing. No great loss; she and Reynolds have minus-zero chemistry.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Inhale
    Milks the very real problem of "organ tourism" for all the melodrama and car chases it's worth.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Change-Up
    Sporadically hilarious but more often just plain crass and contrived.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Fame
    The cowardly producers have banished the grit and darkness of Parker’s original.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
    Jeremy Piven's infamous "sushi defense" for skipping out on a Broadway role is easier to swallow than his performance as a scuzzy auto liquidator who sees the light in The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    The Green Hornet
    Overblown, interminable and unfunny.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Death in Love
    There's something seriously wrong when you assemble actors this good -- and can't believe a single stilted word coming out of their mouths.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    St. Trinian's
    Bad in ways that are almost endearing, St. Trinian's does offer the spectacle of Rupert Everett mincing around in drag as a headmistress bedeviled by Colin Firth, as an education minister and former lover who wants to shut down her out-of-control school.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Bringing Down the House
    The best scene centers on neither Latifah nor Martin. Rather, it's the venerable Plowright delivering an a capella rendition of the slave spiritual "Is Massa Gonna Sell Me Tomorrow?"
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Nights in Rodanthe
    Aims straight for the tear ducts as well, but this weepie is a dry well.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Life as We Know It
    Possibly because Heigl is one of the producers, the most beautiful woman in the film -- the stunning Christina Hendricks of "Mad Men" -- dies in an off-screen car crash barely before the opening credits are over.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Dirty Weekend
    If you thought Matthew Broderick looked uncomfortable playing “himself” in “Trainwreck,” wait till you get a load of the actor portraying a married man who wonders if he’s gay in Neil LaBute’s mean-spirited comedy Dirty Weekend.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Adventures of Power
    Barely watchable, despite the presence of such pros as Michael McKean and Jane Lynch.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Alvin and the Chipmunks
    This partially animated, charm-free atrocity is awful enough to instantly cure any remaining nostalgia for the rodent trio.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    World Traveler
    Amidst the ennui, there are some fine performances.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    When Will I Be Loved
    When Will I Be Loved would rate no stars except for Campbell's brave, totally committed performance -- which deserves a far better movie than this.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    In the Face of Evil: Reagan's War in Word and Deed
    So over the top that it often plays like a parody.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Legendary
    This rousingly sweet little flick is certainly nothing to go out of your way to avoid.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Final Destination
    OK premise quickly deteriorates into a silly, badly acted slasher movie -- minus the slasher.
    • New York Post
    • 39 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    The Numbers Station
    The agent in this interesting little thriller — well played by John Cusack — is up to the Company’s usual dirty tricks.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    All the Rage
    Infuriating grab-bag of a movie.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    But I'm a Cheerleader
    There is probably an amusing movie to be made about camps that try to "rehabilitate" homosexuals - but this thuddingly stupid satire isn't it.
    • New York Post
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    P.S. I Love You
    A protracted piece of schmaltz, P.S. I Love You looks like a hand-me-down from Sandra Bullock and Drew Barrymore.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Fat Albert
    Lumpy, preachy and soporific.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Planes
    Often less really is more, and that’s why I can recommend Planes, a charmingly modest low-budget spin-off from Pixar’s “Cars’’ that provides more thrills and laughs for young children and their parents than many of its more elaborate brethren.
    • 39 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Young People Fucking
    A mildly raunchy comedy that might be more accurately titled "Love: Canadian Style."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Wolves of Kromer
    Abysmal performances, limp direction (Will Gould) and a heavy-handed script drive a stake through a semi-interesting idea about the persecution of gay werewolves in a remote English village.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    After the Sunset
    Not unpleasant, but you've seen it all before.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    April's Shower
    Painfully sincere. But it wrings almost no laughs or tears from this seemingly idiot-proof premise.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Kettle of Fish
    You gotta give credit to any first-time direc tor who attempts an homage to classic screwball comedies on a shoestring budget, even if Kettle of Fish ends up not exactly being the catch of the week.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Mysteries of Pittsburgh
    You know a movie's got problems when the most memo rable thing about it is Sienna Miller's mustache.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Mostly Unfabulous Social Life of Ethan Green
    A genially silly gay date movie.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Our Family Wedding
    A cringeworthy, unfunny example of a culture-clash romantic comedy.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
    Significantly more gruesome and noisy than its predecessor, and boasting more nasty-looking fluids than all the works of David Fincher combined, this version leaves few corpses unturned in its unstinting campaign to please gorehounds.
    • 45 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    By the Sea
    A decade later, these tabloid hall-of-famers are finally back to share the screen in By the Sea — glumly emoting in a pretentiously arty, humorless vanity production that drags along for two hours that feel like at least four.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Standing Still
    There are bachelor and bachelorette parties, as well as much misbehavior, in this glossy and unconvincing little flick, receiving a vanity booking on the way to video.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Empire
    Panders to its audience by glorifying drug dealing and violence in all-too-depressingly familiar ways.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Jungle Book 2
    This is a by-the-numbers rehash that will leave anyone much over 5 enormously grateful that, if you duck out before the lengthy end credits, it lasts just over an hour.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Bad Boys II
    It's basically the longest (a butt-numbing 21/2 hours), the most expensive (a reportedly obscene $150 million), most vulgar and by far the stupidest episode of "Miami Vice" ever.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Dark Streets
    I love musicals, but I'd be hard-pressed to recommend this curiosity, sort of a shoestring version of Francis Ford Coppola's "The Cotton Club."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Balls of Fury
    Mostly unfunny, extremely silly pingpong comedy.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Life Before Her Eyes
    An overwrought and patently offensive anti- abortion drama from the director of the accomplished "House of Sand and Fog."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    Just Visiting
    Don't even think of visiting this French fiasco.
    • New York Post
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Radio
    It's hard to say what's more offensive about the out-of- tune Radio - Cuba Gooding Jr. trying to ingratiate himself by mugging up a storm as a mentally challenged man, or the mawkish narrative surrounding him like so much syrup.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Last Time
    Despite solid contributions by vets such as Michael Lerner and Daniel Stern, Caleo isn't able to sell The Last Time - not the affair and especially not the ludicrous twist ending.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Rite
    The sort of misfire that Hollywood has long buried in January.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Other Side of Heaven
    Easier to sit through than the typical, earnest Christian movie.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Seeking Justice
    Completed four years ago, Seeking Justice is dutifully directed, with an absolute minimum of thrills, by Roger Donaldson, whose credits include the terrific "No Way Out" (1987)...That film's title is a pretty good description of where Cage's career seems to be headed.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    BearCity
    Douglas Langway's middling comedy is sort of a "Sex and the City" for big, hirsute gay guys and the younger cubs who fancy them.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    What the #$*! Do We (K)now!?
    Nearly two hours of New Age hooey.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Ward
    A dull, by-the-numbers psych-ward horror thriller that's sadly a lot closer in quality to "Sucker Punch" than "Shutter Island."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    August Rush
    This is the sort of movie that requires you not only to suspend disbelief, but to check your sanity at the ticket counter.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    On the Run
    Things rapidly go downhill in this pinch-penny production.
    • New York Post
    • 38 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    2 Fast 2 Furious
    A lark for anyone who's willing to check their brains at the concession stand for 100 minutes.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    2 Jacks
    Danny Huston looks and sounds like his celebrated father, John, more and more each year, so I enjoyed watching him play a flamboyant and womanizing legendary director not unlike his old man in Bernard Rose’s modest little comedy.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Max Rose
    Two decades after his last film, the legendary Jerry Lewis performs a truly unfortunate encore playing an elderly widower in writer-director Daniel Noah’s morose and thoroughly unconvincing drama.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    And So It Goes
    And So It Goes appears to be targeting an audience segment that rarely goes out to the movies — while providing them a cringe-worthy incentive to never do so again.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Medallion
    Given the complete lack of chemistry between Chan and Forlani, their rather awkward lip-lock isn't worth $10 to see. Sadly, neither is anything else here.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Death to Smoochy
    So off-the-wall that it may well ultimately acquire the cult status of Resnick's earlier Chris Elliot vehicle, "Cabin Boy."
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Don't Say a Word
    Heartlessly efficient kidnap thriller.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Yours, Mine and Ours
    Lame family filler.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Men, Women & Children
    What elevates Men, Women & Children considerably above a dramatized (and occasionally over-dramatized) lecture on the dehumanizing aspects of the Internet is the consistently high caliber of acting (including, yes, Sandler) and spot-on narration by Emma Thompson.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Crossing Over
    Here comes Wayne Kramer's Crossing Over, a bid to create the "Crash" of illegal-immigration dramas.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Ben-Hur
    There’s a fatally miscast lead (Jack Huston, you are no Charlton Heston), cut-rate special effects, reams of eyeball-glazing dialogue, and a schmaltzy “inspirational” script that pointlessly alters the story in ways that make absolutely no sense.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    God's Army
    Its intriguing subject matter is diluted by too many bland performances.
    • New York Post
    • 38 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Kids in America
    Filmmaker Josh Stolberg claims to have been inspired by real-life events, but mostly he ineptly rips off other movies and wastes a cast that includes Rosanna Arquette, Adam Arkin and Elizabeth Perkins.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    The Specials
    Lame spoof.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Random Hearts
    The cinematic equivalent of enduring a cross-country airplane flight trapped in a seat next to a manic depressive.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Looking for an Echo
    Well-meant but rambling little indie melodrama.
    • New York Post
    • 38 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Little Nicky
    It's funnier than "Bedazzled," which isn't saying much.
    • 38 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Gothika
    The movie spins further and further into coincidence and incoherence.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Words
    The acting, script and direction - not to mention the syrupy score - conspire to make this a perfect storm of a hoot that will find its most appreciative audience among renters who have had a few glasses of wine beforehand.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Reindeer Games
    Without any believable characters or situations, Reindeer Games is about as appealing as leftover Christmas fruitcake.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Amelia
    A lazy coffee-table book of a movie,
    • 37 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Paper Man
    Far from perfect, but it holds your interest as a character study because of strong performances by Daniels and Stone.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Dirty
    An excruciating indie knockoff of "Training Day."
    • 37 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    Another Gay Movie
    A fabulous and often hilarious variation on "American Pie" that substitutes quiche, gerbils and various sex toys for apple pie.
    • 51 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Love
    For all of its in-your-face, full-frontal sex scenes and threesomes (one involving a transsexual), this autobiographical story is almost sweet.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Be Cool
    A fairly painless, if not particularly stimulating, experience, Gray has no idea how to capitalize on the reunion of "Pulp Fiction" co-stars Travolta and Thurman.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Tourist
    In the dud thriller The Tourist, Jolie basically plays an overdressed, humorless live-action version of Jessica Rabbit, running around Venice dodging hired killers.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Crocodile Dundee in Los Angeles
    The lackadaisical pace of CD3 is a disappointing surprise.
    • New York Post
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    What's the Worst That Could Happen?
    Dumbed down to the point where it's barely recognizable as coming from one of Donald Westlake's John Dortmunder novels.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Living Wake
    This is a terminally whimsical vanity project that would probably have been a chore to sit through even in its original intended format, a 20-minute stage monologue.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    xXx: State of the Union
    A big, loud, proudly brainless popcorn flick that blows up cars, trucks, tanks, boats, helicopters and even a train.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Lone Ranger
    The sad truth is these durable 80-year-old characters, who peaked with a 1950s TV series, never even come to life in this bloated, misshapen mess, a stillborn franchise loaded with metaphors for its feeble attempts to amuse, excite and entertain.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Evan Almighty
    Carell's frantic mugging as a modern-day Noah barely keeps Evan Almighty afloat.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Waist Deep
    Slow-witted and occasionally unintentionally hilarious.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Seven Days in Utopia
    Seven Days in Utopia obviously isn't targeted at us cynical New Yorkers. But it goes down more smoothly than you'd imagine thanks to Duvall and an excellent supporting cast.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Charlie St. Cloud
    A maudlin and unintentionally hilarious romantic weepie.
    • New York Post
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Walking with Dinosaurs
    Poor John Leguizamo, who hopefully got well-paid to voice a stereotypical Latino bird providing a stream of nonsensical narration.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Miracle at St. Anna
    Lee's framing device - which ends with a head-scratching fantasy - doesn't work. At. All.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Bad Company
    There is much more suspense in this sequence than a similar scene in last week's "The Sum of All Fears" -- which wasn't intended to be funny.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Showboy
    Lethargically paced, badly edited and shot in hideous digital video.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Love Don't Cost a Thing
    A sexed-up Afterschool Special pretty much guaranteed to render audiences comatose.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The United States of Leland
    This bomb, which premiered at last year's Sundance Film Festival, belongs in the same remainder bin as Spacey's "Pay It Forward," "K-Pax" and "The Life of David Gale."
    • 37 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    The Other Woman
    The Other Woman isn't a perfect film, but it makes better use of her (Portman) talents than her other current movie, "No Strings Attached."
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    All the King's Men
    Lethally dull and self-important remake.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 12 Lou Lumenick
    War, Inc.
    The movie has two modes - very loud and extremely loud - and all of the actors are encouraged to mug their hearts out. That even includes Cusack's real-life sister Joan, normally one of the most reliable performers in the business.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Analyze That
    Shapeless, sloppy, badly paced mess.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    When Do We Eat?
    Surprisingly watchable because of its cast - especially Jack Klugman, who steals every scene he's in as Dad's paranoid survivor father. All he has to do to stand out is underact.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Kid & I
    THE mesmerizingly awful The Kid & I is a historic first: a comedy about the making of a vanity production that is ITSELF a vanity production.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    Love Ranch
    Mirren maintains her class throughout Love Ranch. She may deserve another Oscar just for keeping a straight face while reciting a ridiculous speech about the Donner Pass tragedy on her way to a tryst with her character's lover.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    The Nut Job
    The Nut Job has an interesting anti-socialist subtext, with the seemingly benevolent raccoon revealing himself as a power-mad dictator. It’s the most political non-Pixar cartoon feature since the very left-leaning “The Ant Bully’’ eight years ago.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    The Last Sin Eater
    The cast includes Oscar winner Louise Fletcher (Nurse Ratched herself) and Henry Thomas of "E.T.," and the special effects look like they were executed on somebody's laptop.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Battle: Los Angeles
    This silly extraterrestrial-invasion epic somehow manages the feat of making the destruction of La La Land seem tedious.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Suspect Zero
    The clichéd and predictable Suspect Zero is the latest evidence that Hollywood has run the serial-killer thriller into the ground through overuse - the same way it earlier exhausted, say, buddy action-comedies.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Double
    Michael Brandt's soporific thriller is making a token stop in theaters before its January DVD debut. Miss it if you can.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    The Frozen Ground
    Cusack and Cage — who don’t have any scenes together until halfway through — do their best work in years, while erstwhile “High School Musical’’ star Hudgens shows off acting chops missing in “Spring Breakers.’’
    • 37 Metascore
    • 63 Lou Lumenick
    The Country Bears
    Two stars for adults -- 3 stars for kids. The under-5 set should take to The Country Bears like bears to honey - even if anyone much older will find this broad-as-a-barn-door Disney musical bear-ly tolerable.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Crush
    With heavy emphasis on cliché and stereotype, has at least four false endings -- and drags on for nearly two hours -- before it finally contrives to reunite its sitcomish pals for a last drink together.
    • 37 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    You Got Served
    Cliched, amateurish and feeble.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Seven Pounds
    Preposterous romantic melodrama, which uses a fractured narrative to cloud an absurd plot that would probably be laughed off the screen if it were presented in a straightforward manner.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 75 Lou Lumenick
    The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle
    Works because they really are the focus - and they're excellently voiced .
    • New York Post
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Poolhall Junkies
    For all his skill with a cue, the charisma-challenged Callahan is no Nia Vardalos in the acting department -- let alone a Paul Newman or Tom Cruise.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Steal This Movie
    Vincent D'Onofrio does capture Hoffman's charisma and nuttiness - and he's the only reason to resist the temptation to skip this exasperating movie.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    After.Life
    I don't think we're expected to take After.Life any more seriously than Ricci's last extended (near) nude role in the immortal "Black Snake Moan." That one was more fun.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Tooth Fairy
    Charmless and underdeveloped knockoff of "The Santa Clause."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    Æon Flux
    Aeon Flux is by far the year's worst movie, a most dubious achievement.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Biker Boyz
    More "the mild one" than "The Wild One."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    The Other Brother
    Holland lets things peter out midway, but it's notably better acted -- and far less crass -- than some other recent efforts in the burgeoning genre of films about black urban professionals.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Returner
    Soporific, shamelessly derivative and barely coherent by American standards.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 38 Lou Lumenick
    Jeepers Creepers II
    There are a few good jolts - and a moderate amount of spurting blood - but things pretty much proceed exactly as you think they will.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    The Tollbooth
    Kirschner's excruciatingly earnest coming-of-age comedy, is about as fresh as year-old matzoh and plays like the unholy spawn of "Brighton Beach Memoirs" and "Fiddler on the Roof."
    • 36 Metascore
    • 0 Lou Lumenick
    The Canyons
    Paul Schrader’s The Canyons is not the worst movie of 2013 — it's marginally better than "InAPPpropriate Comedy" and "Scary Movie 5," two even worse bombs that Lindsay Lohan also lent her rapidly diminishing talents to — but it is surely the most boring I’ve seen.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Big Fat Liar
    Loud and unfunny, this cheesy-looking farce is mostly an excuse for a series of plugs.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Resident Evil: Apocalypse
    There is nothing startlingly new in Resident Evil: Apocalpyse, but it is delivered with some panache and humor.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 25 Lou Lumenick
    Diary of a Mad Black Woman
    Plays like an unwieldy mishmash of "Big Momma's House," "An Unmarried Woman" and "The Burning Bed," with lots of gospel music thrown in.
    • 36 Metascore
    • 50 Lou Lumenick
    Are We Done Yet?
    While the latest installment avoids the nonstop parade of potty jokes, it never rises much past the level of mediocrity.
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