John Petrakis

There is something inherently dishonest about Dark Days.

Much to enjoy in this potpourri of silly fun and forbidden games, but a bit less ambition and a tad more focus might have helped.

A multilayered documentary that explores music and friendship, and in its own quiet way, the battle with fame.

Works better as a sociological study than as a gripping drama.

By the end we are left with a mildly amusing comedy and the lingering memory of a sterling cast that deserved better material.

Ultimately, the weight of the film falls on Goofy's powerful shoulders. He does his best, but like Norma Desmond, he can only do so much.

It has terrific moments, but whenever it starts to cruise along nicely, it hits a comedic pothole that forces it to sputter on down the road.

An all-too-familiar barfly story that often seems aimless. [25 Oct 1996, p.A]

So look for (Francis) at the 2000 games in Sydney, which may provide a more heated ending to this lukewarm story.

If you are looking for an abundance of eye-gouging, flesh-burning, blood-oozing and head-chopping, not to mention cauldron after cauldron of boiling oil, than THIS is the movie for you. [05 Jul 2002, p.C6]

Absorbing in places, but considering the large and diverse pool the filmmakers had to draw from, it's a surprisingly repetitive and predictable collection of big-city sagas.

Thinner has its meaty moments, but overall, it's Stephen King lite. Less taste, less filling, less fun.

Overall, Wide Awake is a sound concept that fell considerably short of its goals. [27 Mar 1998, p.B]

There aren't many surprises in Fire Down Below, except for the presence of a few very good actors (Harry Dean Stanton, Kris Kristofferson, Levon Helm) and a slew of country stars in cameo appearances (including Loretta Lynn's twin daughters and singer Randy Travis, who looks to have a future as a movie heavy). [8 Sept 1997, p.C2]

A decent idea that never goes deep enough for genuine satisfaction.

When the final twist has been turned and the last corpse has hit the ground, it is a film that could have been twice as good if it had been half as complicated.

Perhaps it is time for the folks at Jim Henson Productions to start thinking up original stories again, or at least find material that lends itself to the Muppets' overall strengths, instead of playing into their weaknesses. [16 Feb 1996, p.F]

It's more of a pastiche, a montage of brutality, a slow descent into Dante's Inferno until we reach the subbasement of a boy's soul. [21 Apr 1995]

This is a big-hearted film with admirable ambitions, and the ending is appropriately bittersweet, with victory and comeuppance occupying the same time and frame.

Perfect late-summer drive-in fare.

The ultimate shallowness of this film is reflected in the fact that their key bonding moment occurs when they bungee-jump off a bridge together.

Though this film shows flashes of the electric writer Mamet was to become, Lakeboat is mostly distant thunder over choppy waters.

Has the potential to be much more than it is, especially with the collection of able actors on hand.

Ostensibly a story about first love in college, and I never believed a frame of it.

Just one more example of Hollywood cramming any old idea it can unearth into a moneymaking formula. [17 Feb 1995]

The plot thickens and thickens and thickens until it chokes on a tangled mess of double-crosses.

It's not much more than a collection of clever sight gags and one-liners that leaves the door wide open for another, better film about political correctness on the quad. [29 Apr 1994, p.D2]

Perhaps blackmail isn't an easy subject to warm up to, or robbery the best ground to rebuild a relationship on, but with a little care, some added ingredients and a bit more spice, Getting Even With Dad could have been a satisfying meal and not just an afternoon snack. [17 Jun 1994, p.H]

The shadow of Gena Rowlands looms over this picture like a cinematic eclipse. [25 January 1999, Tempo, p.5]

Any serious message has been sacrificed on the altar of excess, making us realize why the stylish story probably worked better as a graphic comic book than as a film.

The movie is slick, good-looking, nicely edited and empty. [09 Sep 1994, p.F]

The special effects are surprisingly good. And the too-numerous fight scenes have a certain flavor, since Ivan's henchmen always explode in ooze when they are destroyed, which brings out the eeewww in the audience.

Perhaps if writer-director George Gallo ("29th Street") had tried to simplify this potentially sweet story, instead of mucking it up with all sorts of chases and shtick, it might have worked as a modern Christmas fable, complete with charity, kindness, and Three Not-So-Wise Men. But instead, we are presented with a Christmas buffet of overstuffed fruitcake and overspiked punch. Too stale, too sweet, too much. [02 Dec 1994, p.J]

It gussies up the tale with so many random subplots that by the time we cut through the morass, the film is over.

Surprisingly lacking in revelatory moments.

Like many horror films, it loses steam as it gets more graphic.

If it's a necessary piece of history, it's a paltry piece of drama, with intentions so grand, they're absolutely deadening. [20 Dec 1996, p.C]

The very strong performances in this low-budget film deserve a better narrative structure to strut their stuff.

Works so well for the first 40 minutes or so, that when the bottom falls out of it, I felt more than disappointed. I felt betrayed.

What it gains in fun, the film loses in credibility, as the production number itself more closely resembles a high-priced Las Vegas extravaganza than a quickly organized charity event.

Rife with wrong people in major jobs, which leads to a movie that lacks the requisite verve to make to it sparkle.

But once the action wanders off the playing field, "The Program" shows all the cleverness, originality and depth of the Chicago Bears' offense.

Too-loud, poorly directed and seriously overedited.

Contains too little of the original's campy spirit and too many whistles, bells, explosions and screams.

I can only hope that this film was a lot of fun to make. That way, someone will have enjoyed the experience.

One of those frustrating movies that takes forever to get where it's going, and once arriving, the frustration is increased because one realizes how much better it should have been.

As directed by Ronny Yu, Bride of Chucky shows flashes of visual inspiration, and the script by Don Mancini is laced with tiny nuggets of humor. But overall, Chucky seems to be coming apart at the seams.

The Doom Generation can't help but choke on the poisonous fumes of its own cloudy existentialism. [10 Nov 1995, p.G]

This medical miracle scene is by far the best in the film. Not because it is sexy or, perish the thought, Zen-like, but because it is pretty hilarious-a bizarre blend of the Marx Brothers, Three Stooges and Keystone Cops, with a little raunch dressing on the side. Unfortunately, the rest of the film is mostly a lot of grunting and groaning.

The direction is on auto-drive, the dialogue lacks wit and the story logic is non-existent. [03 Nov 1995]

The sequel is about nothing more profound than an awkward teenager's desire for a really cute boyfriend. [12 March 1999, Friday, p.N]

This was a mission that should have been aborted long ago.

All the obligatory plot elements are there. Love and loss, anger and forgiveness, illness and death. But they never flow together to make a coherent story. Instead, they just pop up whenever the script is in trouble. Which is all the time.

So filled with illogical twists and ridiculous turns, that eventually it evokes unintentional laughs.

The biggest script flaw is the curious lack of cause and effect in the relationship between Jack and Ed.

It's strictly rental material. [06 Oct 1996, p.11]

Not without its humorous moments, but they are too few and far between.

Perhaps if you are a Sega-head or Nintendo freak, and your mission in life is to rack up awesome scores on Double Dragon, you may find this loud and tedious movie more enjoyable than I did. But I doubt it. [04 Nov 1994, p.M]

(Kids) are likely to reject Grizzly Falls as though it were a piece of chewed-over bear fat.

Falls prey to a boatload of screenwriting cliches that sink it faster than a leaky freighter.

Junk food laced with testosterone.

All the principals in this cinematic mess have had moments of glory on stage and screen, and one can only hope they got paid well for participating in this comedic embarrassment.

It's just a matter of holding your nose until the whole thing is over.

Could be the most overblown and confusing example of anime yet, as it piles one pretentious story element on top of another.

Poor Roberto Benigni, the Italian comedian who has been given the unenviable assignment of filling the shoes in which Peter Sellers stumbled so effectively. In Son of the Pink Panther, Benigni works from a real dung heap of a script.

Like most sequels, this one is worse than the original. The special effects look cheaper, the villains aren't as evil and the action sequences have all the vitality and creativity of the later, lethargic Karate Kid movies. [28 Mar 1997, p.D]

The sad truth is, I can say nothing to recommend this film.

It is difficult to decide what is more annoying. The complete lack of execution in this film, (despite the presence of some very talented actors), or the realization that these lame screenwriters were so devoid of original ideas, they resorted to picking at the carcass of a tale that has been done and redone to death. [11 Aug 1995, p.28]

There are some cute visuals now and then, but overall Good Burger may raise your blood pressure and, if you suffer through the entire 94 minutes, perhaps even lower your IQ.

Most of the humor is aimed at 14-year-olds.

Custom-designed for 13 year-olds, laden with broad sight gags, gross sound effects and a bowlful of potty jokes.

Just Married is what industry people refer to as "January Junk," cinematic flotsam that gets tossed ashore once they have cleared the shelves of Oscar contenders.

A disjointed and ugly film that has all the dramatic depth of a tractor pull. [06 June 1997, p.J]

It's hard not to feel angry that you've spent almost two hours watching this moronic exercise.

A lamebrained attempt at horror that is just a derivative pastiche of ideas lifted from other bad films.

A bloody mess...The effects are nothing you haven't seen before; the acting is so broad, it borders on the ridiculous; and the story, once intriguing, has become ludicrous. [11 March 1996, p.C3]