Jay Boyar

A big-screen version of a routine cop show that occasionally gets by on momentum from the original movie.

Sgt. Bilko is a bigger con job than Bilko himself ever pulled. [29 Mar 1996, p.A2]

The big problem is the script by 24-year-old Jeffrey Abrams (Taking Care of Business), which is clearly intended as a parable about how a self-centered overachiever and his disintegrating family are redeemed by suffering and sacrifice. What it's really about, however, is how those people are turned into a '50s sitcom family - complete with puppy dog, spunky adolescent, devoted mom and dim-but-well-meaning dad.

If there is any reason at all to create a big-budget, 2 1/2-hour film epic about Columbus, it is to bring the explorer and the people around him into focus as human beings. But that's just what director Ridley Scott fails to do. [09 Oct 1992, p.17]

Young Guns II shoots blanks. [02 Aug 1990, p.E1]

Nine Months does have its problems, but it also has its moments, mainly thanks to a truly remarkable cast. [12 July 1995, p.E1]

Fifteen years ago Sylvester Stallone starred in a movie called Rocky, which won an Oscar. Now he is starring in a movie called Oscar that is, well, a little rocky. [29 Apr 1991, p.D1]

The problem isn't that the film is derivative, it's that the film fails at being derivative. In Only the Lonely, we get only the baloney. [28 May 1991, p.D1]

when Mr. Jones is working, it's surprisingly enjoyable, partly because the cast is so entertaining. [9 Oct 1993]

Even by kid standards, young Macaulay can't act. The boy just races through his dialogue, barely pausing long enough to be understood. And when the script requires him to actually show some emotion, he sounds completely mechanical - as if he were merely parroting a line reading that some adult had given him. [20 Nov 1992, p.16]

Although Daniel Petrie Jr., who directed and co-wrote Toy Soldiers (with David Koepp, based on William P. Kennedy's novel), has never before directed a movie, he sure knows how to keep things moving. Even with its faults, Toy Soldiers gets by a lot of the time. [26 Apr 1991, p.12]

This is the sort of picture in which people slap each other as they take their marriage vows, suddenly develop life-threatening diseases, and, again, have violent confrontations whenever there's a break in the action. Anything for a laugh, anything for a tear, and nothing much authentic.

Connery doesn't have many scenes, and he does manage to keep his dignity while he is on the screen. That's more than I can say for a lot of the actors in this movie. [09 Sep 1994]

Compared to Ghost Dad and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Jetsons: The Movie is eminently orbital. [6 July 1990, p.6]

The folks who made The 'burbs appear to be card-carrying members of the School of Non-Urban Humor. Basic to the philosophy of this school is the misapprehension that anything occurring outside city limits is intrinsically amusing.

To her credit, Spheeris elicits winning performances from most of the kids. [05 Aug 1994, p.6]

If the new film is considerably less imaginative than your average Punch-and-Judy show, it is, nevertheless, a step up from last year's turtle-fest.

This may be the most truly disturbing movie to come along since Lynch's Blue Velvet of 1986...But for those who are willing to go the distance with Lynch, the return trip to Twin Peaks is well worth the trouble. [31 Aug 1992]

No one looks particularly comfortable, not even Midler, who has most of the best dialogue. She's watchable as Stella, but that's really the nicest thing I can say for her work in this unfortunate picture. Does Bette Midler really believe that people of limited means can't raise their kids decently? Or is the Divine Miss M making some great joke whose subtle point I am failing to grasp?

The whole movie, in fact, is one big blooper.

A simple equation, perhaps, but when it comes to comedy, simpler is frequently funnier. This formula has already worked beautifully in France, where the movie has broken all box-office records and has won three Cesars (the French equivalent of the Oscar) including one for best picture.

If Last Man Standing is a failure, it's far from a disgrace. Its intentions seem pure; its method, precise and painstaking. You might say this movie has everything. Everything but excitement. [20 Sep 1996, p.22]

Many years ago, Mel Brooks made up his mind about what was funny and he hasn't budged since. [30 July 1993, p.21]

Issues of forced cuteness aside, the recent Pump Up the Volume did the alienated-youth bit more insightfully than this movie does. Pump Up the Volume was savvy enough to have its young hero make statements such as "I say down with all guidance counselors. Make them work for a living." In Welcome Home, Roxy Carmichael, the troubled teen's confidante is the school's guidance counselor.

City Slickers II is not merely one of the worst movies of the year. It's one of the worst movie sequels of all time - and, by the way, one of the least necessary. [10 June 1994, p.21]

There's an air of desperation about this movie - a sense that the stars are yearning to do something so patently undemanding that it just can't miss.

Medicine Man is bad medicine - very bad. A parable about mankind's folly, it's also a a prime example of it. [08 Feb 1992, p.E1]

All things considered, Hocus Pocus is much more entertaining than a pimple-people picture has a right to be. In addition to the delightful witches and the delightful Thora Birch, the film's bag of tricks and treats also includes a cat that - thanks to the magic of computer graphics - really seems to talk. [16 July 1993]